My Ex ran with my Kid...

[Vegas]

Seems that she wasn't too smart though.

In a nutshell, I had full custody up until May. Separated wife and sone couldn't get along, so the CAS had gotten involved. So, I agreed on an interim order to allow joint custody with day to day with her. Kid seemed happier and things going well.

2 weeks ago she plans a trip to Timmins, she just kept driving I guess and kept on until she ran out of cash or something in Saskatoon.

Apparently, legally she can do this, but she'll eventualy have to give me the address. I'm pissed to say the least. He's 12 and he'll let me know if he's OK with it when I can contact him.

I only found out today because the school contacted me to let me know what shool in saskatoon she had registered to , and they requested a copy of his OSR.

Now the good part (for me). The CAS is looking into an emergency hearing to dissolve their current case, all that was left was an arrangement between me and her over a schedule for access etc..... but she hadn't contacted her lawyer in 2 months, hadn't attended any dates in court and so the lawyer dropped representation 2 weeks ago.

Legally once the case is abandoned the previous order goes into effect, me with sole custody.

So suggestions??????

 

[Svend]

We're only hearing one side, but I'm assuming you have access and he's happier and more secure with you.
If you know he's going to school in Saskatoon and where it is, you can go there to pick him up. Take a few days off work.
You can let her know he's safe with you afterwards.

 

[Vegas]

yes, I have access. It was only getting teh whole thing down on paper was the CAS's thing. It already included in the interim order things such as:

- Notification no less than 7 days prior to any move
- no address change outside of the region bouding york region, Durham, Peel, GTA and Georgina
- not to leave the province without signed consent

it was just working out the details on specifics times/days for access.

Still don't know why she did it, She had an eviction notice at her place, a suspended license and I think her insurance company pulled the insurance from her car, and no lawyer for court because she couldn't be bothered to keep in contact... but why move 3 provinces? Guess you can't teach an old dog new tricks, she seems to think a change of scenery, job etc will cure her problems ... but problems only follow you if you are the problem.... I though she had started to smarten up.

 

[Meister]

I can see now why you would get full custody, she seems like a basket case. Why does she not pay her bills? Are you not paying her alimony?

 

[Vegas]

I can see now why you would get full custody, she seems like a basket case. Why does she not pay her bills? Are you not paying her alimony?

I had custody of the child for the last 10 years, she's over 9 years backlogged in support.....I've paid for some things directly he's needed, but to answer your question ... nope, support's been coming off of her tab.

She is flaky, impulsive, opinionated and reckless. A one night stand that should have never happened, and shouldn't have gone the 2 years it did. She has some good points and means well, I just don't see it too easily at this time.

 

[Meister]

Deadbeat Moms. I didn't think it existed.

 

[ruck]

How about not airing this kind of laundry for a bunch of strangers to analyze?
It's a pretty personal matter and I dont' know if this is the kind of forum to be discussing. I might be the only one who feels this way, but I do.
Cheers.

 

[Vegas]

Deadbeat Moms. I didn't think it existed.

There's literally no support for single dad's in canada. I was discouraged from many support services raising him either becaus eit would be uncomfortable for the women in groups or that they simply had no programs that were available to single dads.

When I first took him in from his mother, it took 3 months to get anything out of social assistance while I resorted my life and got things together ... simply because it wasn't yet called family benefits.....

When I first tried to report the child missing monday through the CAS they discouraged teh CAS from filing because the eviction notice and felt that he'd turn up soon, she probably just moved to another apartment in town.

I had to go to another district in order to even file it. And even they weren't too eager. But glad they did once they founf the info today that he was 3 provinces removed.

At times I wonder if I were a woman reporting this if it would have been handled differently ... I still wonder what my son is going through, because I think this was a total surprise to him, I'm yet to even know where he is exactly other than knowing the city he's in.

 

[toronto_05]

Not the place...

I agree with Ruck, why discuss it here?

Just my 2 cents but, if the kid is 12, wouldn't he call to check in - something like, hey, mom's gone nuts and we just moved to Sask??

 

[Keebler Elf]

While it does seem kinda weird to be discussing such a situation on an escort review site, I will chip in that there is an organization out there that is basically a support group for men's rights when it comes to marriage, divorce, and child custody. Unfortunately, I don't remember the name but it is based in Toronto.
Something like the Men's Support Clinic or something like that.

Good luck.

 

[katetoronto]

Just my 2 cents but, if the kid is 12, wouldn't he call to check in - something like, hey, mom's gone nuts and we just moved to Sask??

Not necessarily. Kids at that age are very impressionable and vulnerable and he may be afraid of hurting his Mom's feelings or ticking her off if she's not stable.

 

[papasmerf]

First off: File a missing child report.

Second: Contact a lawyer and see if you can chagre her with KIDNAPING in the FIRST DEGREE

Third: Offer a reward for information on this

Fourth: Contact AMERICAS MOST WANTED

 

[rama putri]

Hmmm...newbie posting his personal issues about his ex on an escort review board, masking a veiled woman hating bias. Meh, another typical TERBie. Welcome to the board.

 

[WhaWhaWha]

Doesnt exactly sound like an Amber alert. The courts dont care if she doesnt payher bills, as long as she has the resources to stay off the street.
She is and always will be a conniving bitch. Anyone who seperates their own child from their natural parent without just cause is no better than a criminal, but sadly there are no laws. In about six weeks, status quo will prevail meaning she will win full custody by the time you get to court. All because she kidnapped him and you couldn't kidnap him back. Move to sask to fight for custody or enjoy your twice annual access. (1 week in Christmas and 2 weeks in Summer).

 

[toronto_05]

My sister and I did (she was 14, I was 12) The courts seem to be taking the child(ren)'s views into consideration more these days. However, if they have have been brainwashed/pressured, might be a different story. All depends on how good your lawyer is.

 

[WhaWhaWha]

Essentially yes, the kids can decide with their feet. But some parents can undermine and subvert their kids as well as their spouses. For example, why do you think so many kids are diagnosed with depression or ADHD these days? Aside from the benefits to the pharmaceutical companies, it provides the custodial parent with additional means to decalre their child unfit to decide. It mires the kid in court as well as the parents. Now the kids need lawyers. They have to go for numerous psych assessments just to help determine if they know what they are talking about. The parents can also declare each other unfit. More psych assessments. More court. More delays. All kinds of confusion. Involvement of other parties like doctors, CAS. All these people have conflicting schedules. The delays make the whole system a joke.

 

[Vegas]

Doesnt exactly sound like an Amber alert. The courts dont care if she doesnt payher bills, as long as she has the resources to stay off the street.
She is and always will be a conniving bitch. Anyone who seperates their own child from their natural parent without just cause is no better than a criminal, but sadly there are no laws. In about six weeks, status quo will prevail meaning she will win full custody by the time you get to court. All because she kidnapped him and you couldn't kidnap him back. Move to sask to fight for custody or enjoy your twice annual access. (1 week in Christmas and 2 weeks in Summer).

There is a current case in the courts which was started by teh CAS regarding ADHD medication. We had an interim consent order which was joint custody (day to day with her).

However the CAS is left no choice but to drop the case now that she is in SK. Reverting everything back to the last order in place .... me with full custody again. The CAS is trying to fast track the case being dropped so that the status quo isn't in effect, she faces abduction charges the day the case is dropped.

My main question is do I drive there the day the case is dropped with papers in hand? Or do I file an abduction with the police? Will I have to go out there either way?

 

[Svend]

If it reverts automatically with you in full custody, go make the drive right now - you'll arrive Monday to pick him up from school. Let her immediately after so she knows what happened.

 

[fuji]

I know nothing about this. However, if you can legally take the kid with you, you should. I am saying that betting that "posession is 9/10ths of the law", meaning that, whoever has the kid probably has a chance of arguing for the status quo.

if you file with the police or whatever paperwork she could get a lawyer and counterfile something and delays and appeals and who know what. better for you to have the kid while all that is happening is my thinking.

 

[torex]

- Notification no less than 7 days prior to any move
- no address change outside of the region bouding york region, Durham, Peel, GTA and Georgina
- not to leave the province without signed consent

she broke all 3 orders, I'm sure the authorities could arrest her there and have your son brought back to T.O ...no?

http://www.freemychild.com/law_web_home.html?referrer=dataworks
http://www.canlaw.com/rights/fathers.htm