Depends Jenesis.
Some people need co-dependent relationships. Others want/need a relationship that has intimacy but is more like two adults. Free to live their own lives, but are not “free”. If that makes sense.
Most people DON'T WANT RELATIONSHIPS: understanding the decline in romantic relationships..... thoughts?
- Thread starter angrymime666
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Some people need co-dependent relationships. Others want/need a relationship that has intimacy but is more like two adults. Free to live their own lives, but are not “free”. If that makes sense.
Oh I get that and I should dismiss those who need but those are more for dependency reasons than free choice reasons. Just like some escorts like me choose to do this and others have to in order to survive. Same profession different reasons. So I guess my question was more to those who seem to think that all people need relationships to be fulfilled. That you are somehow lacking if you don’t have one. I see it on SM all the time. Men who choose to be single are either label misogynists or incels. And women are creamy cat ladies with jaded attitudes.
Some people are fulfilled with a relationship . But I just think it is limiting when you think companionship can only come from a romantic partner and that intimacy can only occur in a LTR.
interesting perspective...
I guess it comes down to how invested a person wants to be with another. what value to they bring?
people typically do not like to share when it comes to something they highly value. sexual access to a partner, financial access.
call it the romantic in me but familiarity and someone knowing all your dirt and accepting you with all your dirt/skeletons. I can quite put words to it but its the one thing that keeps me on the fence. someone you can rely on who will have your back.
I would guess its a desire not to be alone or lonely.
I get what your saying. your life is happy and chill with no waves. having a partner means they could make your life more difficult since they will never be exactly on the same page as you. they are an individual and make individual decisions which may effect their life which in turn effects your life in an outcome that would cause instability or unexpected consequences on to you.
its a shame since I always envisions a little house on the prairie life... who am I kidding lol
You said so emotionally and socially dysfunctional ... and not by choice... with a skewed image of themselves. Simply preferring to be by oneself does not mean someone is "emotionally and socially dysfunctional"... some people are just wired differently. We all have our preferences and tolerances for different things - being with someone (whatever it may be, friend or romantic) is part of it too. This is something that cannot be proved in this context of course - you will believe what you believe simply because it's natural to believe all humans require copious amounts of love or attention or whatever it is. Meanwhile I was trying to say that since I'm getting burned out on even simple friendship / family relationships that having to spend a large amount of time with someone else in a romantic context is not something I'm willing to do for my own sanity. Now... I also said I work a job requiring a lot of social finesse.... so it's possible I may be using up all my 'social' energy just by working and when I retire I may feel differently, for now though I'm happy where I am. I know it's against the norm, but I'm just not sure that it's right to claim broadly that people who choose to be by themselves are "dysfunctional".
One can be alone and not be lonely, meanwhile someone can go from romantic relationship to relationship and feel alone and miserable the entire time. As long as you know where you're at and are happy with it, then that's that
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"I am truly a 'lone traveler' and have never belonged to my country, my home, my friends, or even my immediate family, with my whole heart; in the face of all these ties, I have never lost a sense of distance and a need for solitude..." - Einstein
