Money laundering

[Swami]

Relax, LEs... I don't mean what you think.

The usual purpose for money laundering is to disguise the origin of ill-gotten funds. Not what I want to do.

I want to disguise the destination of ill-spent funds, hiding it from someone who has access to all my banking and credit-card records. I'm sure the audience here can guess who I'm talking about, and how the money is spent. Not that she-who-must-not-be-named routinely audits me or anything, but I do nevertheless go to lengths to keep my hobbying untraceable.

The way I do it now is I just disappear $20 from my wallet once in a while. It's petty cash, nobody knows where it goes. And I occasionally take a $20 cashback when I do low-total purchase at Zehrs. In the bank records, it just looks like a regular grocery purchase.

But it's a pain in the ass doing it this nickle-and-dime way. If my stash gets low, it takes a while to build it up again. Anyone have a good way to spend $1000 in a way that looks legit (could even be discussed ahead of time), but comes right back to you as cash?

 

[Hangman]

Your two current methods are good routine. They have the advantage that they blend into your normal routine and are hidden in larger legitimate transactions.

You can also try the following:

Buddys birthday/bachelor/divorce party at the casino. You say you're going to take $500 out for blackjack and oh look! You broke even! Now you have $500 cash out of the banking system.

Workplace contributions. People are forever bringing in their kids fundraisers, or raising $ because of coworkers' impending marriages, etc. Start being more 'generous'

General increase in cash withdrawls. Lifes not getting cheaper. Add $100-250 or whatever works to your normal weekly petty cash ATM withdrawl and keep on your current method, just at a higher frequency or amount.

For $1000 all at once, you could also buy a big-ticket item and withdraw the extra cash when you pay cash for it. Explain you got a better deal for cash if she questions the transaction. If its jewellrey for her I doubt there will be many questions.

 

[connected]

the best way to save $1000 of the bat is leave Zehrs and drive over to Food Basics, lol.....

on a serious note, just join a local credit unioin and have them take it off your pay cheque (assuming you have a job).

My buddies do this for their hobbying and it works great...they call them up and ask the balance and surprisingly, they have ALOT more than they remember!

 

[John Jacobs]

Buy something from Walmart, get cash-back then return the item and get your money back.
Then you will have an expense at walmart (Car Repairs?? then your credit card statement will just say Walmart and you don't have anything to show because it was a car repair)

 

[connected]

anything /anywhere purchased on credit card has to be returned on the exact same credit card....

 

[peregrine]

Two ideas, maybe not great ideas, but they have both worked...

1. If you have a benefit plan at work take the "refund" by cheque rather than direct deposit and cash that for some extra funds.
2. Sign up for Canada Savings Bond deductions at work and then cash in when you want. You can do this virtually weekly.

I didn't say these were GOOD ideas, I just know both have worked. You need to have a significant other (SO) that does not have full control over the finances. and in the case of the CSB's a buddy's address, or post office box, to direct the cheques to. His SO believes to this day that he doesn't get a pay stub so hasn't caught on to the CSB deductions. In the other case the benefit provider just mailed the cheques and the SO never "balanced the books". Don't imagine you could have those re-directed.

Just my contribution to "thinking outside the box" and both true stories. Both could get busted at any time but we're not thinking long term here LOL.

 

[connected]

the best way is to tell the SO that she is not doing the job, and if she dont smarten the hell up, you are gonna replace her by paying SP's to knock it out of the park for you! lol

orrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...

you could start selling some items on kijiji, and use the proceeds. Save all your change ( I did mine a few weeks ago and allmost $2,000), you could take out 20-30/wk say its for a lottery and pro-line pool at work, so that is dedicated cash weekly.

lots of ways to lie to the SO, but why? Its your god damn money!

 

[pipelayer]

your first mistake was joint accounts. your best setup would have been a personal account each, and one joint. works fine over here.

 

[connected]

have to agree with pipelayer....never get a joint acct...only get one after you have your shit in order and the excuse for a joint acct if for HOUSE stuff only...

my poor bastard buddy has a joint acct. and If I ask him to go out or he talks about something he wants to buy, he sounds like an 8 r old boy kicking his shoes in the dirt that his mom wont let him spend his money!! fucking sad really.

You work your bag off (and his job is highly dangerous) and yet the guy is not "allowed" to buy something for himself, or he has to deal with her bullshit.

 

[goalie000]

your first mistake was joint accounts. your best setup would have been a personal account each, and one joint. works fine over here.

I was just thinking this, you have joint everything??? I had one joint account and a couple of joint cards, the rest was in my name only. She had some only in her name too. Much easier this way.

 

[Peter123]

try this...esp if you have two banking accounts....cheque on bank 1 payble to cash (esp odd amount $349)--take to bank 2---grab the cash....if you are actually good about recording your cheques---oops forget to record that one....if asked hopefully weeks or more later---forgot what it was for or some bs (but believable) thing.......if you are like most folks don't keep track--heck who can remember if she audits the monthly statement.(particulary good if done just after bank statement date)

 

[CUTTERBUCK]

Money laundering

Plan "B". Get rid of the Warden.......problem solved :thumb: