Men, sex, and emotional intimacy

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K

kkelso

Well-known member
Apr 27, 2003
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Amber Rosa said:
Am intrigued by the following article:

http://www.medicaldaily.com/article...work-prostitution-love-emotional-intimacy.htm

Do you agree?

Don't love some of the terminology, but interesting points....

xox,
Amber
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Not sure there is much to disagree with here. The intimacy thing does genuinely happen every once in a while, and when it does it's a nice surprise. I'm sure there are some guys who go looking for it, as well as some who see it even when it doesn't exist.

KK
 
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babemagnet

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I have had a couple of long term "relationships" with sp's who seemed like friends. I believe there was genuine mutual fondness and trust.However my present ATF is a mind fuck because she has got under my skin. She is nothing but friendly and professional and generous, but I find I am having feelings for her to where I am jealous. When I read a review about her giving someone else a great session it is not good .
 
Amber Rosa

Amber Rosa

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babemagnet said:
I have had a couple of long term "relationships" with sp's who seemed like friends. I believe there was genuine mutual fondness and trust.However my present ATF is a mind fuck because she has got under my skin. She is nothing but friendly and professional and generous, but I find I am having feelings for her to where I am jealous. When I read a review about her giving someone else a great session it is not good .
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what does "ATF" mean? Am a bit of a newbie. Thx for sharing babemagnet. Part of why I posted was b/c I had this experience too. Have you shared your feelings with her?
 
S

simon482

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Feb 8, 2009
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Amber Rosa said:
what does "ATF" mean? Am a bit of a newbie. Thx for sharing babemagnet. Part of why I posted was b/c I had this experience too. Have you shared your feelings with her?
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Atf = All time favorite
 
M

milehigh

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Feb 15, 2003
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some buy sex because they find it risky, thrilling, or sporting (calling themselves hobbyists);
some wish to avoid the obligations or emotional complications involved in a conventional relationship; and
some seek a limited romantic or emotional connection in addition to or instead of a purely physical experience."
Read more at http://www.medicaldaily.com/article...ve-emotional-intimacy.htm#8i95Pb6VVCOHUhSq.99

You seem interested, so the last 3 points best describe my own interests.

Not listed... being able to have sex with your fantasy type girl.

Previous point... with someone who is very good at sex.

And you have various chemistry levels, so when you find someone you hit it with, you have a mutual respect with each other, and know you can count on each other for a great experience.


​
 
Amber Rosa

Amber Rosa

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milehigh said:
some buy sex because they find it risky, thrilling, or sporting (calling themselves hobbyists);
some wish to avoid the obligations or emotional complications involved in a conventional relationship; and
some seek a limited romantic or emotional connection in addition to or instead of a purely physical experience."
Read more at http://www.medicaldaily.com/article...ve-emotional-intimacy.htm#8i95Pb6VVCOHUhSq.99

You seem interested, so the last 3 points best describe my own interests.

Not listed... being able to have sex with your fantasy type girl.

Previous point... with someone who is very good at sex.

And you have various chemistry levels, so when you find someone you hit it with, you have a mutual respect with each other, and know you can count on each other for a great experience.


​
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Great response milehigh, thanks!

Have to ask though, is the fantasy-type girl just a physical thing? Similarly, does a great experience simply mean chemistry?

xox,
Amber
 
M

milehigh

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Feb 15, 2003
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Fantasy girl can mean:

= A physical type you just find hot.

= SOOOOOOO cute.

= Great experience and / or great chemistry.


Some of the best regulars I have been with were not the "ultimate" in looks. Some really good looking girls have been disappointing. When I say not the ultimate in looks - there were just some qualities which you find very attractive.

And chemistry is often a surprise. It is similar to experience but not exactly the same. Experience is very important, on its own.

Chemistry just happens...

Also in regards to the limited romantic connection role play.... some SP's for sure enjoy this, rather than simply sex. Me, with a trusted regular only I can do that.
 
T

The Wookie

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Jun 4, 2011
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Every human needs intimacy. Guys that are looking for intimacy are usually not getting it anywhere else. The guys that aren't most likely have a wife or a steady girlfriend to provide them with this aspect.
 
Amber Rosa

Amber Rosa

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The Wookie said:
Every human needs intimacy. Guys that are looking for intimacy are usually not getting it anywhere else. The guys that aren't most likely have a wife or a steady girlfriend to provide them with this aspect.
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well said :)

but, do you think men who see SP's are seeing them for some sense of emotional intimacy? maybe it's all a bit blurry...

xox
 
T

train

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babemagnet said:
I have had a couple of long term "relationships" with sp's who seemed like friends. I believe there was genuine mutual fondness and trust.However my present ATF is a mind fuck because she has got under my skin. She is nothing but friendly and professional and generous, but I find I am having feelings for her to where I am jealous. When I read a review about her giving someone else a great session it is not good .
Click to expand...
I can see that happening. I've made a concious effort to always have more than one "favourite". I've seen one girl in Montreal every month for 5 years. Know her real name, picked her up at her apartment to take her away for a weekend, know her dog's name and that she has a kid. She has slept over at my place here. I feel we are "friends". I used to see her one night and her best friend the next night for several years until her friend retired. Never assumed I was owed a "freebie" but I do get favoured client rates.

It's kinda like being a friend with your lawyer or accountant except you really have to protect yourself mentally because sex is a powerful drug sometimes, and she is spectacular.

Recently saw a returning Montreal legend who has the reputation (rightly or wrongly) of leaving clients broke and turning them into stalkers ( at least two of them). I can see how it happens. She is unique in that she never asks me for money and you just pay what you feel is fair. Another spectacular woman with brains and many talents.
 
G

GPIDEAL

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Jun 27, 2010
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Amber Rosa said:
well said :)

but, do you think men who see SP's are seeing them for some sense of emotional intimacy? maybe it's all a bit blurry...

xox
Click to expand...
Yes, BUT it's like having a PART-TIME MISTRESS. No matter how close you can get with an SP, and I've been there or am there, it still is no strings attached (you're not in a committed relationship with each other and/or living under the same roof).

The only problem with the hobby is if it 'crowds out' dating someone for keeps. A single guy can get lazy and just live 'la vida loco'.

Since I may not be happy just with a gal who's 'vanilla' in the bedroom or close-minded, there are some SPs that seem like good mates. You really never know anyone though until you've spent time with them, and I don't mean just in a session.
 
G

GPIDEAL

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The Wookie said:
Every human needs intimacy. Guys that are looking for intimacy are usually not getting it anywhere else. The guys that aren't most likely have a wife or a steady girlfriend to provide them with this aspect.
Click to expand...
I would say that's a fair comment.
 
B

babemagnet

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Jul 5, 2011
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train said:
It's kinda like being a friend with your lawyer or accountant except you really have to protect yourself mentally because sex is a powerful drug sometimes, and she is spectacular.

Recently saw a returning Montreal legend who has the reputation (rightly or wrongly) of leaving clients broke and turning them into stalkers ( at least two of them). I can see how it happens. She is unique in that she never asks me for money and you just pay what you feel is fair. Another spectacular woman with brains and many talents.
Click to expand...
Yes, I have had sp's who are widely reviewed and enjoyed by many, and no problem. Don't take it personal, but this one........., I guess you like them so much you want to possess them. I pm'd a guy who claimed she did "extras" and he said yes she definitely did. I asked her about it at my next session and she denied it. Her demeanor made me believe her, but the guy has credibility with his reviews. I was going to start pm'ing other guys to verify or disprove. Then I thought. Fuck it. I don't want to know. Suck it up. She's not in love with you. She give me enough and I am grateful that I can see her at all.
 
T

TeasePlease

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Aug 3, 2010
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babemagnet said:
Yes, I have had sp's who are widely reviewed and enjoyed by many, and no problem. Don't take it personal, but this one........., I guess you like them so much you want to possess them. I pm'd a guy who claimed she did "extras" and he said yes she definitely did. I asked her about it at my next session and she denied it. Her demeanor made me believe her, but the guy has credibility with his reviews. I was going to start pm'ing other guys to verify or disprove. Then I thought. Fuck it. I don't want to know. Suck it up. She's not in love with you. She give me enough and I am grateful that I can see her at all.
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The question is why you thought you should pm the guy or "confront" the SP in the first place. That was the beginning the slippery slope. Glad you shook yourself out of it.

btw, I enjoyed reading the article. Raises many questions that I hope the researchers will follow up to probe
 
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