What do you do when you loan your friends money out of good will and heart?I live a middle class life and for most part i am not short of anything but most of my friends think i am rich and all they want is to borrow money. I just can't say no cause they know i have it. When i do lend them, i find it hard to retrieve it back. Should i just say no?, or sorry i am broke.Any advise.
Loaning money to friends
- Thread starter dukeelton
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Simple answer: If you want them to remain as friends, then don't loan them the money. If they are true friends they should understand.dukeelton said:
If you've lent someone money before and you couldn't get it back, that's your explanation. Simple. If someone can't understand and accept that and they get pissed at you, they're probably not worth having as a friend.dukeelton said:
If it's the first time they're asking or they've paid promptly previously, it may be harder to say no.
If they get angry and stop being your friends if you refuse, they are not your true friends to begin with. True friends do not take advantage of you.
But, by the same token, true friends are there when you need them. If they really need the money for something important, and they are desperate, help them out. But make sure to get everything in writing.
It can work out. My best friend was in credit card debt, and asked for 5,000. I gave it to him, and he paid me back (albeit slowly). We are still best friends, and I'm glad I made his life better.
However, any time money comes between friends, there is a great risk of losing your friend, so beware.
But, by the same token, true friends are there when you need them. If they really need the money for something important, and they are desperate, help them out. But make sure to get everything in writing.
It can work out. My best friend was in credit card debt, and asked for 5,000. I gave it to him, and he paid me back (albeit slowly). We are still best friends, and I'm glad I made his life better.
However, any time money comes between friends, there is a great risk of losing your friend, so beware.
If this is a sort of situation like I'm in with my best friend, we have lent each other all kinds of money over the last 5 yrs. Like the day before payday and you're short and he hands you a 20....and vice versa.
When it comes to a little bit bigger loan, like 500 and up, I'd get it in writing with a set payment schedule. I've been burned TOO many times from "friends" asking for money, then disappearing.....
When it comes to a little bit bigger loan, like 500 and up, I'd get it in writing with a set payment schedule. I've been burned TOO many times from "friends" asking for money, then disappearing.....
What do your friends need the loan for?dukeelton said:
If it is something that is important and that might better their lives in the long run then you might want to help them out....
But do they have a plan on paying you back?
Something concrete not something vague like "I'll pay you whenever I get some money... " kind of plan!!!!
And why don't they have money in the first place? Are they lazy and just don't work - if so, don't lend them money!!!!
If you do lend them money you will have to be prepared that you might not get your money back and that your friendship may fall apart...
If you already have found it hard to get your money back then I advise that you don't do it....
If you just can't say say, "No!!!" to loaning them money then just make up a lie ..... if it makes it easier for you then say that you're money is tied up in investments or that you're broke!!!!
Do a credit check on your friend and then draft a loan repayment schedule featuring automatic withdrawals from his bank account. Also, ask him to pledge his assets as collateral in case he defaults on the loan.
I know some guy who's getting married and one of the guy's in his wedding party has owed him $400 for 6 months for a set of car rims. I told my buddy if he hasn't paid by now, he's probably not going to pay.
They supposedly arranged a payment plan of $50/week. That was almost a month ago and he still hasn't seen a penny. If you lend money to someone, you should make sure that they are honest and trustworthy, and also make sure they won't take advantage of your generosity.
Ciao,
VT
They supposedly arranged a payment plan of $50/week. That was almost a month ago and he still hasn't seen a penny. If you lend money to someone, you should make sure that they are honest and trustworthy, and also make sure they won't take advantage of your generosity.
Ciao,
VT
I did it once and I have to admit, it felt very odd. I was paid back immediately on the due date as I figured I would be. And we're still friends and all, but I didn't enjoy the feeling of the whole situation.
I will not repeat.
I will not repeat.
Money shouldn't get in the way of friendship. I know that's easier said than done. I loan money to friends all the time. It's a comfort level you grow into.
I'm more fortunate, financially, then most of my friends. If they need cash for a night out, I'll loan it to them. Sometimes it's just given to them.
I try not to be too trivial about money because friendships are more important than cash. Of course what I said above is applied only to life long friends. I only have life long friends and rarely make new friends. Business acquaintance, partners and clients I keep on a basic business level. I never indulge in pleasure with a business associate. Now that really ruins a relationship. Ever try living with a friend? That's harder than lending them money. LOL
I'm more fortunate, financially, then most of my friends. If they need cash for a night out, I'll loan it to them. Sometimes it's just given to them.
I try not to be too trivial about money because friendships are more important than cash. Of course what I said above is applied only to life long friends. I only have life long friends and rarely make new friends. Business acquaintance, partners and clients I keep on a basic business level. I never indulge in pleasure with a business associate. Now that really ruins a relationship. Ever try living with a friend? That's harder than lending them money. LOL
Just don't do it, period
never, never, loan money to a friend, unless it's a life and death situation for him..
the stories are endless from people on how they used to have this friend...then money was loaned...
I had this one friend who is a stock broker, his 2nd wife (whom I introduced him to) took him for everything.. times where hard... after not hearing anything from him for over a year, I called him on it last year. He had about three reasons why he didn't actually owe me the money now...needless to say, I never called him back. I am a little saddened over finding out that our friendship was worth less than a small sum of money to him. My first conclusion is that I did not pick this friend wisely in the first place. Live and learn.
never, never, loan money to a friend, unless it's a life and death situation for him..
the stories are endless from people on how they used to have this friend...then money was loaned...
I had this one friend who is a stock broker, his 2nd wife (whom I introduced him to) took him for everything.. times where hard... after not hearing anything from him for over a year, I called him on it last year. He had about three reasons why he didn't actually owe me the money now...needless to say, I never called him back. I am a little saddened over finding out that our friendship was worth less than a small sum of money to him. My first conclusion is that I did not pick this friend wisely in the first place. Live and learn.
Actually, that's exactly why you SHOULD lend your friends money. You quickly find out who your true friends are. Any "friend' who is willing to ruin a relationship over something as petty as a sum of money is not worth keeping.
Philosophy is
I read this once somewhere of course:
"to test a firend loan him $20 if he never pays you back he wasn't a friend."
I would suggest a $5.00 bill only.
Never loan money to any one. I only do it to my parents. Beyond that, is a loss.
I read this once somewhere of course:
"to test a firend loan him $20 if he never pays you back he wasn't a friend."
I would suggest a $5.00 bill only.
Never loan money to any one. I only do it to my parents. Beyond that, is a loss.
Oh yeah story of my life, I've been burned for over $15,000 over the years. I also have a friend who's on the hook right now for like another $5,300, but I adore her so much that I don't let the money come between our friendship(yeah she's with someone else ).
).Well written, but for such a smart guy, you really need to do something about those stinky nuts...stinkynuts said:
I really think it depends on your friendship, the amount of money, the situation etc... For me and a small group of good friends, loans of less than $1,000 are not a big deal.... However, none of us would ask the other unless they really needed the cash quickly..
If your friends are asking you on a regular basis, you have to reconsider whether they are really friends... I once had to make a large purchase and asked a really good friend if she would like to get the air miles points on her credit card.. and it woujld give me 3 weeks to pay... within that time, a whole bunch of things came up and i was late making the payments...
The way that she reacted was really funny, it was like she did not know me for the last 25 years.. that I would suddenly run away with her money to Cuba... Since then, I have kept money and friendships on separate terms...
They always say a friend in need is a friend indeed.
But would it work the same way in turn? What if you asked your friend to loan you money if he had it would he? Life should be in my opinion a little give and a little take. You scratch my back you scratch mine sort of thing. Life is full of ups and downs a true friend will be there if you need him and vice versa.
Maybe, you could wait a bit and then tell your friend I have a problem and need help and see if he would go out of the way to find some money to help you then.
But would it work the same way in turn? What if you asked your friend to loan you money if he had it would he? Life should be in my opinion a little give and a little take. You scratch my back you scratch mine sort of thing. Life is full of ups and downs a true friend will be there if you need him and vice versa.
Maybe, you could wait a bit and then tell your friend I have a problem and need help and see if he would go out of the way to find some money to help you then.
