Lavalife - WTF?

[xarir]

So I'm giving Lavalife another shot. Today I email a girl on the Relationship section, basically saying "Hi. You're cute. Whazzup?" She replies with this:

Thank you for sending me an e-mail. Please tell me about yourself. Tell me about your career / education / family / ethnic background. Tell me about your family. Where did you grow up around? Where do you live about? How do you spend your time? Have you ever been married? Do you have children? What languages do you speak? Where have you traveled? What place did you like the most? least? Are you religious? What do you do in your free time? What do you do for fun? What are you specifically looking for on LL? How long have you been on LL? Tell me about your LavaLife and relationship (past and present) experiences.

Fuck - no wonder this lady is still single!

I was going to ignore this one (for obvious reasons - can you imagine a lifetime of this?!) but then I thought we might as well have some fun.

What should I send back as a reply? Post here, I'll copy & paste and send back to her. (And post any replies I get back from her in this thread.) Please reply before 11pm Thursday June 26.

Let the antics begin!

 

[tboy]

Nothing wrong with that IMO........

 

[Tangwhich]

Sorry, but I think you're wrong on this. Granted, she's a little bit intense, but your initial email is pathetic. She probably gets dozens of "Hi" or "You're Cute" type emails a day. If she's looking for relationship then she's going to want to actually know something about a potential date and a generic, cut & paste email doesn't tell her a damn thing.

 

[dajodo2]

I can tell from her response she has some physiological issues.

Move on and don't bother toying with that one.

 

[Plan B]

This woman obviously gets too many responses to her ad. But she's coming across like a real bitch. This is an interrogation, and I would discontinue replying like you said. She did ask you about your travel experiences though, tell her you have a fondness for Greece, and have travelled to the Greek Islands. Somewhere out there there's an unlucky son of bitch who's going to end up with this treasure.

 

[Moraff]

Tell her that if you answer all of her questions now, you won't have anything left to talk about on the first date.

 

[fijiman]

I think its always a mistake to presume the other person is a moron.

In this case you sent her a cliche male approach, and she has responded with an inverse cliche female approach. If she's cute/etc, I bet she gets loads of emails, and I bet that her response to you is one that she just cuts and pastes.

Now maybe I'm wrong, and she's actually expecting that you reply in detail to all of her questions.

But if I were you, I would respond presuming that she is partially f**king with y ou, and acknowledge that you gave her a bulls** message, and she gave you one back.

And then answer one, maybe two or her questions, and try to turn the tables on her and get inside her head.

my 2cents

fj

 

[squash500]

No wonder sps are so popular . Who needs all that interrogation? Sometimes its just easier to go to the local atm withdraw $240 and proceed to get laid.

 

[rick dickulous]

This is a form letter that she copies and pastes to her torrent of suitors. Women criticize men for doing this sort of blase interrogation. Send her a dis and tell her that she has no imagination and is rather boring.

 

[james t kirk]

Tell her to check out your posts on terb.

 

[babyfinsta]

good thing is u can move directly to the sex part after answering all these questions. no more chit chat required.

 

[Catherine]

good thing is u can move directly to the sex part after answering all these questions. no more chit chat required.

BINGO! LOL

OMG- I would so fall for THE 'He-answered-all-my-questions-so-he-passed-the-test' TEST, so lets get IT ON!

 

[kih]

I think the gal knows what she is looking for and this is somewhat of a preliminary scan if Mr. Potential fits the mould. At least she responded...

 

[babyfinsta]

BINGO! LOL

OMG- I would so fall for THE 'He-answered-all-my-questions-so-he-passed-the-test' TEST, so lets get IT ON!

catherine, send me some questions and let's get it on!

 

[james t kirk]

BINGO! LOL

OMG- I would so fall for THE 'He-answered-all-my-questions-so-he-passed-the-test' TEST, so lets get IT ON!

You might, but the chick in question is merely interviewing candidates for the position of boyfriend.

I'm with the original poster, she's fucked up.

I've come across women just like he's describing on LL myself. They think that Mr. Perfect is out there and LL is virtually a huge data base of potential husbands.

LL has worked for me, but, it's a lot of work and a lot of the women have totally unrealistic expections about the kind of man that they should spread their legs for. I remember one time having one and only one phone conversation with a woman who was interviewing candidates for the position of boyfriend. It wasn't a conversation in as much as it was an interview.

Question after question after question. There was no ebb and flow, it was just questions from a prepared list I am sure.

It's sad when it's so bad you want to tell them you have to go because you hear your mother calling you.

 

[The Crunge]

Whazzup?......smooth....mind if I use that one?

 

[Darkman5]

No wonder sps are so popular . Who needs all that interrogation? Sometimes its just easier to go to the local atm withdraw $240 and proceed to get laid.
Reply from: squash500.

I agree with this reply.

 

[red]

yo chill girl - don't be crowding me with these questions.

 

[fuji]

good thing is u can move directly to the sex part after answering all these questions. no more chit chat required.

I think that is what you should put in your response: "So if I answer all of your boring questions correctly, do we move directly to sex, no more chit chat required?"

 

[james t kirk]

OK XARIR
Here is a rough outline of what I would send her and see how fast she responds. Feel free to make any changes as you see fit.

Dear


Let me tell you something about myself. I am of Irish decent, but am a 5th generation Canadian. I am single, as I have not met the right life partner as yet, thus my search. My career is based in the financial sector, and I am currently employed by an international investment banking firm as the Director of Acquisitions for North and South America. I am fluent in English, Spanish, French and Italian. I have travelled extensively in North and South America, Europe, Britain, and Australia. It is difficult to say which place I liked the most because each is different and unique but if I was forced to choose I wouldprobably say Italy. I am planning a six week tour of the Orient next year and am looking forward to it. I am not religious but I am spiritual, believing that man has a personal relationship with the universe and its creator. In my free time, I enjoy reading, music, squash, cycling and skiing in the winter. Probably I would spend most of my spare time cooking gourmet meals for myself and my friends, I really enjoy intimate dinner parties with interesting guests. On LL I am looking to meet my life partner, a soul mate to share life’s experiences with together.

That's fucking classic.

I think I might just use that.