Joke of the day...

[OnTheWayOut]

Every once in a while you receive a short joke that works.

A salesman goes up to a house and knocks on the front door. It's opened by a little ten year-old boy who has a lighted cigar in one hand, a glass of whiskey in the other and a Penthouse magazine tucked under his arm.

Salesman: "Hello son. Is your mom or dad home?"

Little boy: "What the fuck do you think?"

 

[stevieray]

A man and his dad go to the mall (his dad`s 92). After some shopping, they decide to have some lunch at the food court. While eating, dad can`t help noticing this punk teenager with multi-coloured, spiked hair, grungy clothes, facial piercings, etc. Every time the teenager looks over, he sees the old man staring at him. He`s finally had enough, and says to the old boy, "Hey man, did you never do anything wild in your day?" Without missing a beat, dad replies: "Yep. Fucked a peacock once, just wondering if you were my son...."

 

[Scott706]

Man of the house

A husband had just finished reading a new book entitled, "You Can Be THE Man of Your House."

He stormed to his wife in the kitchen and announced, "From now on, you need to know that I am the man of this house and my word is Law. You will
prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm done eating my meal, you will serve me a scrumptious dessert. After dinner, you are going to go upstairs with me and we will have the kind of sex that I want!

Afterwards, you are going to draw me a bath so I can relax. You will wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe. Then, you will massage my feet and hands. Then tomorrow, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?"

The wife replied, "The fuckin' funeral director would be my first guess."

 

[Buick Mackane]

How do you make a duck funky?












Stick it in the microwave until it’s bill withers.

 

[MaverickPunter]

They all laughed when I said I wanted to be a TERB comedian.

Well, they're not laughing now! :drum:

 

[Getit100]

What makes 5kg of fat sexy????? Wait for it!!!!!! A nipple!