to be an asshole...not just randomly and go out of my way but I'm tired if being a nice guy and putting others first.
By always putting others first, you are a complete asshole...
To yourself.
Believe it or not, as people, we are not always supposed to put others first. It's okay to say no, it's okay to look after yourself, and it's okay to be a bit selfish. It's healthy to do these things!
When a person always puts others first before themselves, we get this kind of scenario: Someone who is burnt out from being nice, and for never thinking of themselves. And then goes the complete opposite direction.
Find a balance. Everyone is allowed to be an asshole sometimes. No one likes a people pleaser, or a "yes man" anyways.