Is my life fucked?

curr3n_c1000

I do all my own stunts
Dec 20, 2014
4,034
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I have no friends, literally none. That's why I'm posting here when I don't even live in Toronto anymore. I work from home and my only hobbies are hiking. I'm shy and awkward and slow to make friends. Maybe autistic.

Some people say stuff like, "'I'm so blessed to be able to do what I do, I can't imagine my life doing something else". Well I'm doing something else. When I was young I had a path to follow and talents in that area. But I met a girl, now my wife, who saw no value in that path. So I got a regular career. I'm ok at my my job but my soft skills won't allow me to advance, and I've really tried. Now I'm working with guys 20-30 years younger than me.

I have kids, but I'm not happy with how they are turning out. They don't respect me and don't follow my advice. To be honest I don't blame them, I'm no role model. I don't know how to be good father.

My wife is cold after we had kids. I cannot imagine growing old with her. But being alone is even worse.

I have no family in this country. My parents are very old. They are probably the only people in this world who care for me.

Lastly, I'm hitting 50 and it's getting late change trains. I don't like the idea of abandoning my kids and creating a single mother family. I don't have much money. Sex drive is decreasing.

So please confirm, am I a lost cause?
 
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curr3n_c1000

I do all my own stunts
Dec 20, 2014
4,034
2,187
113
I'm not going to lie to you. You are one issue away from a life collapse.

The #1 thing for you is to keep your job. That is the jenga block that will knock everything over beyond your control. Just make sure you reach retirement.

Fuck your kids, fuck your wife and fuck friends. You can't control everything in life. If relationships don't go the way you want it, just know you tried your best and let it be.

Once the kids are 20 you can have a discussion with your wife and see where things go. Before that, don't do anything to piss her off. 😁
 
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JeanGary Diablo

Well-known member
Aug 5, 2017
1,560
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I have no friends, literally none. That's why I'm posting here when I don't even live in Toronto anymore. I work from home and my only hobbies are hiking. I'm shy and awkward and slow to make friends. Maybe autistic.

Some people say stuff like, "'I'm so blessed to be able to do what I do, I can't imagine my life doing something else". Well I'm doing something else. When I was young I had a path to follow and talents in that area. But I met a girl, now my wife, who saw no value in that path. So I got a regular career. I'm ok at my my job but my soft skills won't allow me to advance, and I've really tried. Now I'm working with guys 20-30 years younger than me.

I have kids, but I'm not happy with how they are turning out. They don't respect me and don't follow my advice. To be honest I don't blame them, I'm no role model. I don't know how to be good father.

My wife is cold after we had kids. I cannot imagine growing old with her. But being alone is even worse.

I have no family in this country. My parents are very old. They are probably the only people in this world who care for me.

Lastly, I'm hitting 50 and it's getting late change trains. I don't like the idea of abandoning my kids and creating a single mother family. I don't have much money. Sex drive is decreasing.

So please confirm, am I a lost cause?
You're not a "lost cause". You'd be surprised at how many people are not that much different than yourself, myself included.

What you need to change is your perspective. I can't offer you any quick-fix suggestions, but you need to take a more positive approach to your life.

You can always come here to find support as well.
 

massman

Well-known member
Sep 8, 2001
4,618
3,133
113
I have no friends, literally none. That's why I'm posting here when I don't even live in Toronto anymore. I work from home and my only hobbies are hiking. I'm shy and awkward and slow to make friends. Maybe autistic.

Some people say stuff like, "'I'm so blessed to be able to do what I do, I can't imagine my life doing something else". Well I'm doing something else. When I was young I had a path to follow and talents in that area. But I met a girl, now my wife, who saw no value in that path. So I got a regular career. I'm ok at my my job but my soft skills won't allow me to advance, and I've really tried. Now I'm working with guys 20-30 years younger than me.

I have kids, but I'm not happy with how they are turning out. They don't respect me and don't follow my advice. To be honest I don't blame them, I'm no role model. I don't know how to be good father.

My wife is cold after we had kids. I cannot imagine growing old with her. But being alone is even worse.

I have no family in this country. My parents are very old. They are probably the only people in this world who care for me.

Lastly, I'm hitting 50 and it's getting late change trains. I don't like the idea of abandoning my kids and creating a single mother family. I don't have much money. Sex drive is decreasing.

So please confirm, am I a lost cause?
Agree with many of the others you need something your own to do and enjoy. Also agree with the exercise advice, particularly cycling. It’s a type of activity that people over 50 can easily get into, and improve at steadily. It will give you some goals (longer/ faster ride) time alone away from your problems. You can see the countryside, and get a lot of fresh air. These will give you a sense of well being, that may change your outlook, or at least get up the motivation to make changes in your life where you can.
If you can’t see growing old with your wife, you are going to need to do something about that. You need to talk to her, tell her what your issues are from the relationship, and find out hers, to reach some kind of mutual agreement to improve things. If you can’t agree to improve things, maybe you will be better apart. You don’t want to look back 15 -20years from now and say wtf have I been doing with my life, what have I missed.
 

Robert Mugabe

Well-known member
Nov 5, 2017
9,380
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All about perspective. You've got the mopes. I was sad because I had no shoes until I saw a man with no feet. You have freedom to chose. No wheelchair. Not blind. Not deaf and dumb. Not living in a third world hell, I am guessing.
Are these people's lives fucked?

A resounding yes.
taliban.jpg
 
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mmouse

Posts: 10,000000
Feb 4, 2003
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I can't reply to everything but there's a lot of good food for thought. I will say though, comparing oneself to others is not the answer.
 

massman

Well-known member
Sep 8, 2001
4,618
3,133
113
I can't reply to everything but there's a lot of good food for thought. I will say though, comparing oneself to others is not the answer.
Agreed.
Just because others have it worse than a particular person, that does not mean that person isn’t having a hard time.
 

HEYHEY

Well-known member
Nov 25, 2005
2,537
641
113
I have no friends, literally none. That's why I'm posting here when I don't even live in Toronto anymore. I work from home and my only hobbies are hiking. I'm shy and awkward and slow to make friends. Maybe autistic.

Some people say stuff like, "'I'm so blessed to be able to do what I do, I can't imagine my life doing something else". Well I'm doing something else. When I was young I had a path to follow and talents in that area. But I met a girl, now my wife, who saw no value in that path. So I got a regular career. I'm ok at my my job but my soft skills won't allow me to advance, and I've really tried. Now I'm working with guys 20-30 years younger than me.

I have kids, but I'm not happy with how they are turning out. They don't respect me and don't follow my advice. To be honest I don't blame them, I'm no role model. I don't know how to be good father.

My wife is cold after we had kids. I cannot imagine growing old with her. But being alone is even worse.

I have no family in this country. My parents are very old. They are probably the only people in this world who care for me.

Lastly, I'm hitting 50 and it's getting late change trains. I don't like the idea of abandoning my kids and creating a single mother family. I don't have much money. Sex drive is decreasing.

So please confirm, am I a lost cause?
Are you a lost cause ? Answer is no.

You can make plenty of friends and find countless new hobbies.

You can advance at your career, start a new one or even start your own business. It's really up to you and only you are holding yourself back.

Kids are their own people. Think back to when you were younger, I doubt you took your parents advice.
You can help them with advice but they have to want it.

Wife is cold ?
Welcome to the club and terb lol

Parents are old? Be thankful you still have parents.

You have plenty going for you and you can improve your life significantly.


Now imagine your scenario and your wife divorces you. Kicks you out of the house and you have no access to the kids.
She makes up horrific lies about you to everyone that will listen. She is slowly destroying you financially and your business that you poured years and your heart and soul into. Your body is destroyed and you have multiple health problems from years of hard physical work.
Everything you've loved is gone, you come home at the end of the day to a room you've rented and on a daily basis wonder if you should blast yourself with a 9mm hollow point or a 12 gauge.

Now if you were in the above scenario your life would be pretty fucked, and even people in this scenario are able to improve their situation and aren't a lost cause.
 

Robert Mugabe

Well-known member
Nov 5, 2017
9,380
6,384
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Old Jay Mohr joke. Words of comfort
If you think you've got it bad imagine this. There's a guy somewhere who's a Siamese twin. And his brother's gay. And his boyfriend is on his way over. And between the two of them they have only one asshole.......
 
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moredale7

Well-known member
Sep 24, 2011
1,117
2,281
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When I was a teenager, a friend traveled to Spain. There, a wise man told him: when you find the perfect pussy, your life will be complete. When I met my wife I thought I had found it. But it was a lie. Now she's boring, frigid and distant. Fuck that Spanish guy. Yes, big time regret.
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2560x1600.jpg Your computer may be killing you as it has killed the lives of millions around the world. Isolation leads to suffering so counter that with exposure to people real people a simple smile from someone walking towards you can change your day so try it. The next person you meet could turn your life around but you are never going to meet them through a computer screen, the truth is no one here including me has the right answer as it is in you already something just needs to trigger it. Fuck your computer, get outside, the world is full of beautiful people.
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y2kmark

Class of 69...
May 19, 2002
19,064
5,441
113
Lewiston, NY
To develop a new friend network you can join clubs. The more the better.

hiking clubs
Start with the Bruce Trail Association. If you can't get involved there you are introvert writ large...
 

Robert Mugabe

Well-known member
Nov 5, 2017
9,380
6,384
113
When I was a teenager, a friend traveled to Spain. There, a wise man told him: when you find the perfect pussy, your life will be complete. When I met my wife I thought I had found it. But it was a lie. Now she's boring, frigid and distant. Fuck that Spanish guy. Yes, big time regret.
This guy?
 
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mmouse

Posts: 10,000000
Feb 4, 2003
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Sounds to me like all your problems are from the fact you got married. I work from home, I have no friends, and I couldn't be happier.
That's interesting. Do you really have no friends - I mean none? How do you fill your time?
 

Zipperpants

Well-known member
Jun 19, 2018
742
362
63
There are women you marry and the women you fuck. Rarely do they meet. Get out, have some fun, meet some people and don't forget to stop at your local watering hole at least twice a week- you'll meet lots of guys like you, there.
That watering hole comment is something I learned recently. I am fortunate to not be in the same situation (or any bad situation for that matter)as the person who made this topic but I learned after getting to know a few of the people at two of the local bars near me that they’re at low points in their lives. Be it horrible marriage, divorce etc. some of the most friendly talkative guys there have a lot going on with their lives. Which is why I sort of stopped going to those bars and visit a further one because it’s sort of depressing now after hearing their stories.
 

superstar_88

The Chiseler
Jan 4, 2008
5,559
1,133
113
I'm sure plenty of marriages put up a blissful front but behind closed doors things are not good.
 
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