Is my life fucked?

[mmouse]

I have no friends, literally none. That's why I'm posting here when I don't even live in Toronto anymore. I work from home and my only hobbies are hiking. I'm shy and awkward and slow to make friends. Maybe autistic.

Some people say stuff like, "'I'm so blessed to be able to do what I do, I can't imagine my life doing something else". Well I'm doing something else. When I was young I had a path to follow and talents in that area. But I met a girl, now my wife, who saw no value in that path. So I got a regular career. I'm ok at my my job but my soft skills won't allow me to advance, and I've really tried. Now I'm working with guys 20-30 years younger than me.

I have kids, but I'm not happy with how they are turning out. They don't respect me and don't follow my advice. To be honest I don't blame them, I'm no role model. I don't know how to be good father.

My wife is cold after we had kids. I cannot imagine growing old with her. But being alone is even worse.

I have no family in this country. My parents are very old. They are probably the only people in this world who care for me.

Lastly, I'm hitting 50 and it's getting late change trains. I don't like the idea of abandoning my kids and creating a single mother family. I don't have much money. Sex drive is decreasing.

So please confirm, am I a lost cause?

 

[escortsxxx]

I have no friends, literally none. That's why I'm posting here when I don't even live in Toronto anymore. I work from home and my only hobbies are hiking. I'm shy and awkward and slow to make friends. Maybe autistic.

Some people say stuff like, "'I'm so blessed to be able to do what I do, I can't imagine my life doing something else". Well I'm doing something else. When I was young I had a path to follow and talents in that area. But I met a girl, now my wife, who saw no value in that path. So I got a regular career. I'm ok at my my job but my soft skills won't allow me to advance, and I've really tried. Now I'm working with guys 20-30 years younger than me.

I have kids, but I'm not happy with how they are turning out. They don't respect me and don't follow my advice. To be honest I don't blame them, I'm no role model. I don't know how to be good father.

My wife is cold after we had kids. I cannot imagine growing old with her. But being alone is even worse.

I have no family in this country. My parents are very old. They are probably the only people in this world who care for me.

Lastly, I'm hitting 50 and it's getting late change trains. I don't like the idea of abandoning my kids and creating a single mother family. I don't have much money. Sex drive is decreasing.

So please confirm, am I a lost cause?

Certainly not Your life is much better than most from what you described already. There are many paths yet to improve your life if your unhappy with your current situation - therapy, volunteer life, red pilling, building your father skills.
I know people who became homless and rock bottom from where you are now - you are way way above rock bottom. And you have your heath which is beyond lucky.
That being said its obvious things are not all wine and roses. However, your still able to improve your life and enjoy what you have. Imagine if you where in wheel chair - there goes the hiking.

 

[JuanGoodman]

I think that you should stop looking at all the negative aspects of your life and start looking at what you can do to make it better

there are many people in this world that would give their left nut to be where you are now

if you do not do something now in 10 years you will be competing with guys 30 to 40 years younger

look into Wim Hof methods he has amazing reviews

immediate action with immediate positive results

 

[mmouse]

Certainly not Your life is much better than most from what you described already. There are many paths yet to improve your life if your unhappy with your current situation - therapy, volunteer life, red pilling, building your father skills.
I know people who became homless and rock bottom from where you are now - you are way way above rock bottom. And you have your heath which is beyond lucky.
That being said its obvious things are not all wine and roses. However, your still able to improve your life and enjoy what you have. Imagine if you where in wheel chair - there goes the hiking.

Thanks for your reply, I really appreciate it. Unfortunately knowing someone is in a worse situation does not make your life good. Therapy: cannot afford, don't believe in it. Building father skills: I wish I knew how. It's hard when you have no friends, family or network to give you advice. When my kids were born I wanted nothing more than to be the best father I could be. It's been one big disappointment since then.

Red pill - I always look for the truth, but not sure that's a good tactic. In the country where I live now we employ a helper for a few hundred bucks a month (don't cry, this is above average). She hasn't seen her family - including 3 kids - for a few years. Yet she is genuinely cheerful and positive. Surely that's blue pill.

 

[Brill]

It’s good you are realistic about being worse off if you left your marriage.
A diminished sex drive will make it easier to stay and save you money as well.
There’s nothing wrong with having solitary pursuits like hiking. Maybe investigate more pastimes like kite flying, cycling, gardening, crossword puzzles, playing a ukulele?

 

[Sonic Temple]

Mate, your life is not fcked, first step is to find something to be passionate about. Anything to get you going, you have to do that first - do you have anything that you can call your own?

 

[y2kmark]

Lastly, I'm hitting 50 and it's getting late change trains. I don't like the idea of abandoning my kids and creating a single mother family. I don't have much money. Sex drive is decreasing.

So please confirm, am I a lost cause?

Oh, to be 50 again...

 

[fall]

I have no friends, literally none. That's why I'm posting here when I don't even live in Toronto anymore. I work from home and my only hobbies are hiking. I'm shy and awkward and slow to make friends. Maybe autistic.

Some people say stuff like, "'I'm so blessed to be able to do what I do, I can't imagine my life doing something else". Well I'm doing something else. When I was young I had a path to follow and talents in that area. But I met a girl, now my wife, who saw no value in that path. So I got a regular career. I'm ok at my my job but my soft skills won't allow me to advance, and I've really tried. Now I'm working with guys 20-30 years younger than me.

I have kids, but I'm not happy with how they are turning out. They don't respect me and don't follow my advice. To be honest I don't blame them, I'm no role model. I don't know how to be good father.

My wife is cold after we had kids. I cannot imagine growing old with her. But being alone is even worse.

I have no family in this country. My parents are very old. They are probably the only people in this world who care for me.

Lastly, I'm hitting 50 and it's getting late change trains. I don't like the idea of abandoning my kids and creating a single mother family. I don't have much money. Sex drive is decreasing.

So please confirm, am I a lost cause?

Yes, you are almost there, but there may be a small chance of happiness. How old are your children? Can you connect with them and be their friend? Or give them unconditional love and help? You said they do not respect you, and I think it may be your problem. The problem is that you want respect. Go for gratitude. Do something for them, make them feel that they can rely on you, be there for them, and do not request anything in return. They will be grateful and you will earn their respect. If your children are already in college, it may be a bit late, but behold, you may have grandchildren soon. Grandchildren are your chance for happiness, your purpose in life, and gaining respect and gratitude of your children. And the may help you to reconnect with your wife. In a meanwhile, watch lots of TV - it helps to get the time pass by.

 

[escortsxxx]

Thanks for your reply, I really appreciate it. Unfortunately knowing someone is in a worse situation does not make your life good. Therapy: cannot afford, don't believe in it. Building father skills: I wish I knew how. It's hard when you have no friends, family or network to give you advice. When my kids were born I wanted nothing more than to be the best father I could be. It's been one big disappointment since then.

Red pill - I always look for the truth, but not sure that's a good tactic. In the country where I live now we employ a helper for a few hundred bucks a month (don't cry, this is above average). She hasn't seen her family - including 3 kids - for a few years. Yet she is genuinely cheerful and positive. Surely that's blue pill.

Well there are things called books. Therapy can be free - it unclear where you are or what your situation is - but therapy can be simply teaching you skills you lack.

Here a link to 10 books cant say any are good or not.

10 Books to Help You Be a Great Dad - All Pro Dad

What could your life look like in a year with a little self development? All Pro Dad shares 10 books to read to help you improve your life.

www.allprodad.com

As somoene said solitary hobbies are great - I know you can get in rut and its hard to get of it. Consider Getting a mistress they can double as a friend. Sure its not easy but that can be a hobby.

Certainly can appriate the no firends thing - been there in the past.

 

[Mr.lover]

Take ownership of where you are at, that's the biggest step. Next is to make decisions to change the little things in your life that would have the biggest impact not just in your own well-being but those around you. Hint they are younger than you.

Start with your kids, do something small, start by not thinking of them as disappointments, and treat them like the stars they want to be. Their failure is a result of your lack of understanding on how to communicate with them. If you can do that wife will start looking at you differently, so will the kids. Build a relationship with them. Turn it around, don't force it on them let them willingly come to your table by showing them some interest in their lives.
After that everything comes easy.

 

[anon1]

You're not alone.

 

[LTO_3]

Have to agree with whomever said to stop looking at the negative and build on what's good. Start slowly and move forward from there since it's taken many years to be in your current position.
Consider taking up your former path that you were good at that your SO didn't think was worthwhile. And do it even if it's for your own personal satisfaction to help build your confidence. And if that somehow leads to other opportunities then possibly do so as a sideline business. And while doing this try to slowly take the small steps to repair your relationship with your kids. And if that even means getting some advice from any friends you do have, then that's a start.

LTO_3

 

[Don Draper]

I'm so happy

HAPPY

HAPPY

that I never,

NEVER

NEVER

married​

 

[|2 /-\ | /|/]

Bruh this is completely normal. It’s all because society has indoctrinated us with this false sense of self and purpose and taught us to live the selfish life. Like ask yourself why is it on our birthdays we don’t celebrate our moms for putting up with pain to give us birth but we selfishly celebrate ourselves and expect presents and special treatment. it’s like a golden prison. just listen to this Metallica song called the unforgiven and it will all make sense. What you are experiencing is your being like core who you actually are trying to wake you and break free of those chains and bring you to a place where you belong and can start actualizing your potential. Just need to listen to it and savour the feelings and see where it leads.

Eventually your kids will become self sufficient and hopefully move out. If they are assholes life will teach them. You just need to try and keep trying while not allowing them to take advantage and bring you down like if they become criminals or drug addicts or are just using your for money. Need to show signs of love even if subtle even when they hurt you. Love is putting other needs ahead of your own needs but cleverly and many times indirectly.

But also start trying new hobbies. Like sailing, biking, gaming, making YouTube videos, exploring, working out etc. See what your life and feelings are trying to show you. Listen and be present. Try to enjoy the feelings that come even if depression, sadness or if you feel like a failure. Just keep getting up like the sun even if you fail like a 1000 times. Keep trying new things and eventually you will make progress and figure out what brings you joy and happiness. This might mean moving away from your wife or even divorce if you both feel it might be best. Maybe have a talk with your wife and see how she is feeling and how to work it out. Maybe divorce is your answer maybe it is not. Try embracing pain and fear and depress like David Goggins and use it to your advantage.

At the end of the day we are not special. When we die people will forget about us our jobs and all that. We will fade like footprints on the sand from their memory. You will remember the experiences and how people made you feel. These will be your last thoughts especially the people who made you feel special. Eventually you will find the ones who resonates with you and develop some type of experiences.

If I was all alone I would probably try to save enough money to I can travel the world and experience as many cultures as possible even of this meant working multiple jobs. World is so big and so different compared to what we see in Canada and so rich in diversity and culture. It’s one thing to say it, one thing to know it but another thing to be actually immersed in the culture. Also Canadians can be very fake at times and not that real which could make things worse for people in your situation. You know the saying Canadians are so nice what they are actually saying is Canadians can be so fake. I love Canadians and Canada but just stating how I see it. Obviously not everyone but you get a lot of fake. Might need to experience other cultures to give you that perspective.

Man just never give up and always keep fighting and getting up.

 

[mmouse]

I like your thinking, symbol guy. You're absolutely right, we'll soon turn to dust and be forgotten. But fuck that, I had plans and want to do shit before I die. Yes none of us are special, but we should value our own lives.

 

[Just Looking For A Latina]

I am impressed with the many thoughtful replies in the thread.

Your life is not ____ @mmouse. You are in a tough spot.

You have options. You have resources. Now decide one moment at a time if you want to take advantage of them.

You enjoy hiking so start there.

You have a role model, the helper at your home, observe and learn.

Start a journal and write about the joy of hiking and what you have observed about the helper.

Each day is a new start.

 

[Jenesis]

Thanks for your reply, I really appreciate it. Unfortunately knowing someone is in a worse situation does not make your life good. Therapy: cannot afford, don't believe in it. Building father skills: I wish I knew how. It's hard when you have no friends, family or network to give you advice. When my kids were born I wanted nothing more than to be the best father I could be. It's been one big disappointment since then.

Red pill - I always look for the truth, but not sure that's a good tactic. In the country where I live now we employ a helper for a few hundred bucks a month (don't cry, this is above average). She hasn't seen her family - including 3 kids - for a few years. Yet she is genuinely cheerful and positive. Surely that's blue pill.

It is sad you don't believe in positive mental health and getting the true help you need.

You need to learn assertiveness by the sounds of it. That and social development skills. This will help with the job, kids and friends. It will help you stop being so passive but that requires therapy and you don't believe in it so to answer your question, if you don't want to get the help you need, then Ya / its a lost cause. Not to sound negative but where is the investment in your health? If you don't put in the investment, you will get no rewards. Mental health is health too.

Others here have given some great advice but without truly changing some of the inner you, this stuff will always be a problem.

Please reconsider. There are plenty of services for every income level. You may need to be on a waiting list, but it can change your own life

Here is mine; as a strong independent woman, I couldn't leave a 12 year seriously abusive relationship. We didn't even live together. I made my own money and paid by own bills but still I couldn't leave. There was something holding me there. I went to therapy, worked on my past feelings about my relationship with my mom and bam - left him like it was nothing to me. He wasn't the issue, it was me and my mental head space. No amount if self-help would have got that and figured out the problem was past trauma with my mom that I needed to work on. I never would have changed and therefore life wouldn't have changed.

So maybe open your mind to therapy. It may sound stupid but it does seriously work when done right.

 

[angrymime666]

I have no friends, literally none. That's why I'm posting here when I don't even live in Toronto anymore. I work from home and my only hobbies are hiking. I'm shy and awkward and slow to make friends. Maybe autistic.

Some people say stuff like, "'I'm so blessed to be able to do what I do, I can't imagine my life doing something else". Well I'm doing something else. When I was young I had a path to follow and talents in that area. But I met a girl, now my wife, who saw no value in that path. So I got a regular career. I'm ok at my my job but my soft skills won't allow me to advance, and I've really tried. Now I'm working with guys 20-30 years younger than me.

I have kids, but I'm not happy with how they are turning out. They don't respect me and don't follow my advice. To be honest I don't blame them, I'm no role model. I don't know how to be good father.

My wife is cold after we had kids. I cannot imagine growing old with her. But being alone is even worse.

I have no family in this country. My parents are very old. They are probably the only people in this world who care for me.

Lastly, I'm hitting 50 and it's getting late change trains. I don't like the idea of abandoning my kids and creating a single mother family. I don't have much money. Sex drive is decreasing.

So please confirm, am I a lost cause?

" "'I'm so blessed to be able to do what I do, I can't imagine my life doing something else". Well I'm doing something else. When I was young I had a path to follow and talents in that area. But I met a girl, now my wife, who saw no value in that path. So I got a regular career. I'm ok at my my job but my soft skills won't allow me to advance, and I've really tried. Now I'm working with guys 20-30 years younger than me. "

I found this part of your post interesting.

it sounds like you are not happy with the choices you made. regret?

 

[mmouse]

it sounds like you are not happy with the choices you made. regret?

When I was a teenager, a friend traveled to Spain. There, a wise man told him: when you find the perfect pussy, your life will be complete. When I met my wife I thought I had found it. But it was a lie. Now she's boring, frigid and distant. Fuck that Spanish guy. Yes, big time regret.

 

[jcpro]

There are women you marry and the women you fuck. Rarely do they meet. Get out, have some fun, meet some people and don't forget to stop at your local watering hole at least twice a week- you'll meet lots of guys like you, there.