Is it time that we reviewers cool it a bit?

[rhymenoceros]

I've recently read a post where an SP mentions a client getting very aggressive and even violent and she had to end the session. It broke my heart to read that she was (obviously) very upset and in tears.

I know that there are SPs out there who state that they are into getting their hair pulled, having a penis rammed down their throat until they gag, and getting banged so hard that it registers as a small earthquake 20 miles away. My hope is that we clients don't start believing that all Sps are into this. The porn industry seems to have taken the male sex fantasy to new aggressive levels, sometimes getting downright degrading and forceful. I don't want to judge, and of course whatever happens between two consenting adults is fine, BUT let's not forget that SP's are first and foremost people, even the ones who are ok with a hard and rough session.

That being said, I would like to suggest that without censoring our reviews, we at least keep it real and honest and try not to exaggerate things to the point where we project our power and pornstar fantasies on a session where maybe we weren't really "pounding her like a silver-back gorilla" or she wasn't exactly "begging for more as I hammered my drill down her esophagus." I've been with some really sweet girls in the past who have mentioned that no, they weren't speaking in tongues nor shrieking like a banshee as stated in some reviews, just a few polite sexy moans and sighs. Of course these things can really happen in a session, I just suggest if it wasn't and we wish it did, we don't get creative and live out the fantasy through the review that others will read and possibly formulate the impression that a certain girl may be into things that she really isn't.

At the very least, communication should be stressed to everyone involved in this hobby. Clients, let's be open with what we're into before the session if you might get aggressive.

Let's all stay happy and comfortable.

 

[Cobra Enorme]

doesnt that kill the spontanaity? Having to ask if you can fire the torpedo down her throat? Kind of makes you look like a wuss.

Like asking if you could slap her ass.

 

[rhymenoceros]

I definitely see you point cobra, but I'm referring to a girl feeling scared and threatened. Is a little slap on the ass the same as grabbing her head and ramming your snake down her throat or forcefully pulling her hair? Of course not.

"Having to ask if you can fire the torpedo down her throat? Kind of makes you look like a wuss." I don't want to sound argumentative, but if you are thinking it's ok to blow a load down the throat of EVERY girl that offers BBBJ... seriously, is that what you're really saying? I sincerely hope not.

Anyway, I'm not suggesting that we play mother-may-I every 4 minutes of a date, but just mention any violent or extremely aggressive fantasies when you arrive. She may say, "not too aggressive please," or she may say "Yes, I want you to pound me like a dirty slut" and you'll be rock hard by the time you get out of the shower.

 

[GDLLover]

doesnt that kill the spontanaity? Having to ask if you can fire the torpedo down her throat? Kind of makes you look like a wuss.

Like asking if you could slap her ass.

If these are things you are looking for, it would not hurt to ask when setting up the appointment. They will let you know what they are comfortable with.

 

[TPO]

I would like to suggest that without censoring our reviews, we at least keep it real and honest and try not to exaggerate things to the point

We all know there are better writers than Pooners on TERB. A good number write big exaggerated reviews/comments to boost there own egos.

I am amazed that a few seem to boast of great mileage and always are on the better end of the YMMV factor. Christ you can't have great chemistry with every girl you see?

 

[genintoronto]

doesnt that kill the spontanaity? Having to ask if you can fire the torpedo down her throat? Kind of makes you look like a wuss.

Like asking if you could slap her ass.

I can assure you that in my case at least, you better ask or be damn certain I'm ok with it before slapping my ass or shoving your cock down my throat. Unless you want the GFE to be taken to the next level: the ball busting bitch experience.

I call bullshit on the "kill the "kill the spontaneity" argument. And this is where people in the "vanilla" community would have a lot to learn from the BDSM community: lack of consent and communication are fun killer. Not the other way around.

 

[Bear669]

AS usual, brilliant comments

I can assure you that in my case at least, you better ask or be damn certain I'm ok with it before slapping my ass or shoving your cock down my throat. Unless you want the GFE to be taken to the next level: the ball busting bitch experience.

I call bullshit on the "kill the "kill the spontaneity" argument. And this is where people in the "vanilla" community would have a lot to learn from the BDSM community: lack of consent and communication are fun killer. Not the other way around.

A great sex maniac taught me that she (and most others SPs) STILL appreciate
"Please.."
"May I..."
"Would you like to....."

Very few clients match my YMMV.

 

[mur11]

A great sex maniac taught me that she (and most others SPs) STILL appreciate
"Please.."
"May I..."
"Would you like to....."

Very few clients match my YMMV.

Yes well, there's also the fact that very few clients advance SPs thousands of dollars in cash. I have a feeling that probably has much more of an effect on mileage than politeness

That's not to say I disagree with the OP's point. Reviews on here seem to be evenly divided between the Harlequin Romance Twilight-style, and the 'then she put her tongue up my ass while I busted a Peter North-sized load on her duo partner's pretty face'

Kinda hard to say you're being respectful when you're being as filithy as possible

 

[Aardvark154]

I've recently read a post where an SP mentions a client getting very aggressive and even violent and she had to end the session. It broke my heart to read that she was (obviously) very upset and in tears.

"Please.."
"May I..."
"Would you like to....."

Exactly.

Who in their right mind when there is even a remote possibility of having to explain themselves to the Crown or in Court does not make sure that they have talked about it in advance, and have confirmation that it is consensual in writing. (e.g. e-mails setting up the appointment and discussing these points)

Kind of hard when you say "but she said she would be ok with it." And she says that she never said any such thing and that you attacked her, and it is entirely a verbal "he said, she said."

 

[Bear669]

Ehhhh, buzzer says wrong answer

Yes well, there's also the fact that very few clients advance SPs thousands of dollars in cash. I have a feeling that probably has much more of an effect on mileage than politeness

That's not to say I disagree with the OP's point. ......
Kinda hard to say you're being respectful when you're being as filithy as possible

Money certainly is not to be denigrated, but TOP gals have choices. Plenty of times it has been made clear to me to BACK OFF (and sometimes for the oddest reasons).

It is ENTIRELY possible to be 'filthy' and respectful. Its called "consenting adults" with similar tastes in "filth". Or in the case of SPs who are pushing their own boundaries, at LEAST just the pre-agreed consent part.

 

[smylee52]

.

Sad to say many of us write mature content that is being digested by immature minds . A gentlemen is sensitive to a woman's limits and if there is the slightest doubt or uncertainty then he proceeds slowly and when he reaches the inevitable " fuck in the road " he asks if the lady is comfortable with him taking the naughtier passage .

When you read stuff we write on this site you need to understand you are getting the highlights and not a lot of the " honey is it OK if I spank you " or " Baby I want to push your head down on my cock are you OK with that ? "

Asking shouldn't hurt the flow . You ask she says yay or nay , boundaries are respected .

.

 

[Bear669]

What he sez

.

Sad to say many of us write mature content that is being digested by immature minds . A gentlemen is sensitive to a woman's limits and if there is the slightest doubt or uncertainty then he proceeds slowly and when he reaches the inevitable " fuck in the road " he asks if the lady is comfortable with him taking the naughtier passage .

When you read stuff we write on this site you need to understand you are getting the highlights and not a lot of the " honey is it OK if I spank you " or " Baby I want to push your head down on my cock are you OK with that ? "

Asking shouldn't hurt the flow . You ask she says yay or nay , boundaries are respected .

Its especially great when you tell them to BEG for "it", and they do!

 

[21pro]

some good points in this thread, though I'd hate to be the guy that isn't aggressive enough... I'm a guy ffs...

gotta read the moment properly, that's all.

 

[Mongrel4u]

I've recently read a post where an SP mentions a client getting very aggressive and even violent and she had to end the session. It broke my heart to read that she was (obviously) very upset and in tears.

I know that there are SPs out there who state that they are into getting their hair pulled, having a penis rammed down their throat until they gag, and getting banged so hard that it registers as a small earthquake 20 miles away. My hope is that we clients don't start believing that all Sps are into this. The porn industry seems to have taken the male sex fantasy to new aggressive levels, sometimes getting downright degrading and forceful. I don't want to judge, and of course whatever happens between two consenting adults is fine, BUT let's not forget that SP's are first and foremost people, even the ones who are ok with a hard and rough session.

That being said, I would like to suggest that without censoring our reviews, we at least keep it real and honest and try not to exaggerate things to the point where we project our power and pornstar fantasies on a session where maybe we weren't really "pounding her like a silver-back gorilla" or she wasn't exactly "begging for more as I hammered my drill down her esophagus." I've been with some really sweet girls in the past who have mentioned that no, they weren't speaking in tongues nor shrieking like a banshee as stated in some reviews, just a few polite sexy moans and sighs. Of course these things can really happen in a session, I just suggest if it wasn't and we wish it did, we don't get creative and live out the fantasy through the review that others will read and possibly formulate the impression that a certain girl may be into things that she really isn't.

At the very least, communication should be stressed to everyone involved in this hobby. Clients, let's be open with what we're into before the session if you might get aggressive.

Let's all stay happy and comfortable.

I was accused of being that guy. Let me assure you I was not that guy.

 

[wet_suit_one]

This thread reminds me of a recent night at the Brass Rail.

The rules are pretty fucking simple, don't touch the kitty and wherever else she doesn't want you to touch.

So I'm there with my chosen dancer and next door, what do I hear? "I SAID DON'T TOUCH THERE!!!"



Why are men such fucking losers?

Christ, what is so hard to understand?

Fucking unbelievable....

 

[blank_dave]

A great sex maniac taught me that she (and most others SPs) STILL appreciate
"Please.."
"May I..."
"Would you like to....."

Very few clients match my YMMV.

I will confess to being guilty of ignoring the above. And I should not use inexperience or "the lady was leading" an an excuse.

Now I do think I have asked prior to the panties coming off. (Maybe some one can remind me if I asked or not) And in my last visit, I do know I asked if nipping was permitted.

But again, I can see where little things go along way.

 

[Intense]

Be natural. That's what I do. Have sex and enjoy it ..

Something I would do with my own wife.

Making love is having sex.

Ramming the girl or making the girl gag or choking her is not having making love. Thats rape !

 

[smylee52]

Be natural. That's what I do. Have sex and enjoy it ..

Something I would do with my own wife.

Making love is having sex.

Ramming the girl or making the girl gag or choking her is not having making love. Thats rape !

You sure don't sound very intense (LOL)

One scoop or two ?

How about accepting the fact that people have extremely different tastes for what pleasurable sex is .

.

 

[SweetSerenity]

It comes down to respect, and being a decent person to another. Just as I won't shove my foot up your ass without asking(or without someone deserving it), I don't expect to suddenly be choking on a guys dick, because he thought it would be sexy, but didn't want to 'kill the mood' by asking first.

It has happened before(not with a client, thankfully) and had he taken the time to ask me first, he would have known that trying it was not something I was ok with. I love sucking cock, but I can only take so much at a time. Shoving yourself down my throat without warning will just piss me off.

Ask first, it won't kill the mood, I promise! As Gen said, one of the main rules of BDSM is that both parties must be consenting and communicate their desires before acting on them. I like being tied up and flogged until my ass if red and I have bruises for a few days afterwards, but only if asked permission first.
In any good D/S situation the Sub is always the one with the true control. They need to give permission for the Dom to do things, and hold the right to stop the play if they grow uncomfortable.

 

[Mia.Colpa]

I'm not going to ask you... I'm just spontaneously going to sucker-punch you in the face. Asking if I can hit you would just make me look like a wuss.

lmao, good analogy.