Is a man still expected to pay for dinner?

[onthebottom]

Assuming rational behavior from a women in a dating scenario is setting yourself up for disappointment. The princess fantasy is always just below the surface.

When my SO and I first started seeing each other she fought hard to pay (she wanted some amout of control), I had none of it. If she was honest she would tell you she loved that.

Nothing dries a woman out faster than cheap.

 

[John Henry]

Now, there are some men who find it an insult for me to pay. They will often make that known though.

My statement is copied and quoted above yours which has my name as well. The purpose of that is to directly address the quoted person or elaborate your own thoughts on the quoted text. It doesn't make sense to include me in your post when it does neither.

As for the rest of your post I quoted....That's your experience but please don't write me like I'm part of that %95. The beginning chunk of my original post stated how I go about the situation if I'm going to pay and if not. I do not fall into the category of women you are describing. I'd like to not be included in your posts if they haven't anything to do with me. I would like to not be lumped in a group where I don't belong.

The above statement is what I commented on . You made a general statement and wrote it so therefore your name is copied . I am allowed to make a comment on your statement am I not . In no way was I inferring to you . Your name was just there . My comment was just as general as yours.

Yes some men might feel insulted if a woman offers to pay . My point is that not all are like that . Many men would love to have a woman pay once in awhile to show the fellow that she is interested in him and does not have any problems in spending any money on him.

Again there is nothing that I wrote about you . It was about woman in general and men . You are just assuming that it was about you . You know what happens when a person assumes .

You quoted some of your experiences with men and I did the same with women . Geesh . Women don't like guys that are cheap. Well I don't like women that are cheap so what is exactly the problem here. What's good for the goose is good for the gander is it not . Many women these days don't see that . Many women like to be put on a pedestal . Guess what , they end up falling off pretty quick .

If I wanted to include you as being part of the 95% then I would have mentioned your name . I didn't . So exactly why are you so angry with me ?

 

[ParkersPillows]

The above statement is what I commented on . You made a general statement and wrote it so therefore your name is copied . I am allowed to make a comment on your statement am I not . In no way was I inferring to you . Your name was just there . My comment was just as general as yours.

Yes some men might feel insulted if a woman offers to pay . My point is that not all are like that . Many men would love to have a woman pay once in awhile to show the fellow that she is interested in him and does not have any problems in spending any money on him.

Again there is nothing that I wrote about you . It was about woman in general and men . You are just assuming that it was about you . You know what happens when a person assumes .

You quoted some of your experiences with men and I did the same with women . Geesh

If I wanted to include you as being part of the 95% then I would have mentioned your name . I didn't . So exactly why are you so angry with me ?

I'm not angry. When I've read what you've written, written back and in-between. I'm not feeling negative about our exchange either. A disagreement does not need to be fueled by anger. I'm going to chalk this up to us not understanding each other.

 

[John Henry]

I'm not angry. When I've read what you've written, written back and in-between. I'm not feeling negative about our exchange either. A disagreement does not need to be fueled by anger. I'm going to chalk this up to us not understanding each other.

Agreed :biggrin:

 

[ParkersPillows]

Agreed :biggrin:

Super duper

 

[mexx]

it's pretty simple. the person who first suggests/asks the other person to go out for dinner/coffee/etc. should be the one to pay, which 9x outta 10 will be the guy.

the only exception to this rule is if the guy is at least 5x better looking than the girl in which case said girl will do everything in her power to go out on another date and will more than happily foot the bill to be with alpha male.

 

[Goodoer]

The man always pays. (Even if it is with your buddies).

If the women dresses up/gets done up and makes and effort with engaging conversation, it is worth it.

Don't even worry about the sex part.

If you want a guaranteed thing, go see an SP instead.

 

[Peegies]

It's more like if you aren't willing to pay without any expectation of sex or even a second date, some other thirsty fool is perfectly willing to fill that role.

So you can blame other men for putting up with being treated like this. I've found companion services (non SPs) somewhat useful in this case, as it saves both time and money in the long run

 

[Butler1000]

Thankfully my SO was happy during dating and continues to this day to seeing the wisdom of equality when it comes to the Financials.

As we put in equally we never fight about money. Ever. When discuss and decide. The whole one should pay immediately after places onus on both parties. And in some cases a sense of entitlement with one or both parties.

Equality in a relationship should never be about a power struggle, and the number one reason for this is financial.

 

[Hiding]

With most women, even if they offer to pay for their own meal it's really only a test. If you let her pay for her own meal then good luck on getting another date with her.

A "test"? I wouldn't go out with a guy for a free dinner. It's just not worth it, time is money and I only get one life: I want to go out with someone who is interesting and captures my attention. I don't really care who pays the bill, I care who's on the other side of the table.

 

[bigshot]

A "test"? I wouldn't go out with a guy for a free dinner. It's just not worth it, time is money and I only get one life: I want to go out with someone who is interesting and captures my attention. I don't really care who pays the bill, I care who's on the other side of the table.

Are you available Friday night??? :beguiled:

 

[SashaRose]

I'm speaking about civilian dates where both have agreed to get together for food and drinks.

On some online dates, I've paid, never to hear from her again (even though she said she'd love to get together again)
I've also gone dutch, because we both acknowledge it wasn't going anywhere.
Not surprisingly, the woman has never offered to pay the whole tab.

Of course the man is expected to pay the tab. Of course there is the exception of his birthday or the fact that the lady simply wants to treat him to dinner once in a while. But for the most part it is courteous and chivalrous for the man to pay the tab, or hold the door for a woman. It may be old fashioned but it's a sign of respect and manliness. Normally a man that refuses to pay the tab is a sure sign of a man that doesn't have his life together or doesn't have manners and believe women should take care of him. I once dated a guy who literally got offended that I would ever even take out my wallet after the bill arrived. In his exact words he said, "Don't insult me! Let me be a man and take care if this for you!" Needless to say a man that is that chivalrous get rewarded handsomely by his lady nearly every time. If she doesn't show she appreciates you taking care of her then it shows her character as an individual. This is simply the way things have been since the beginning of time.

Don't get me wrong this isn't the most important thing about the date. It should be about two people interacting and connecting. Everything else is just details.

 

[John Henry]

It may be old fashioned but it's a sign of respect and manliness. Normally a man that refuses to pay the tab is a sure sign of a man that doesn't have his life together or doesn't have manners and believe women should take care of him.

First of all you have no idea what the heck your talking about . I don't pay for dates anymore . I have wasted too many hard earned dollars by me always paying . Many women don't even volunteer to pay for coffee at a drive thru because they are so cheap.

I have my life together , am well mannered and the Sp's that I see have no problem in seeing me again .I have taken care of myself since I was 18 years old . I have never been depended on any woman what so ever . I don't want a woman taking care of me . WHY you ask ? Because it usually me taking care of them . My parents need this , my brother or sister needs that . I'm short this month , can you help me out ( never to be repaid when that happened ) .

I'm tired of being taken for granted and a sucker because I'm too nice of a guy .

How dare you insinuate that men don't have their shit together if they do not to pay the whole tab . Who made you Queen of the Jungle with stupid accusations like that .

Chivalrous and courteous . Your joking right . How many woman do you see take the guy to the cleaners in divorce court these days . The attitude of woman is me me me when it comes to divorce court . Even the courts are in favour of women these days . Where's the fairness that woman for some reason have lost . What about a lady being a lady and only asking for her fair share .

Normally a man that refuses to pay the tab is a sure sign of a man that doesn't have his life together or doesn't have manners and believe women should take care of him

You really have some nerve saying that about men who you don't even know .

 

[John Henry]

It should be about two people interacting and connecting. Everything else is just details.

Everything else is details . If that's the case then you pay for the date . After all it's only the details is it not . The fellow is interacting and connecting with you . Isn't that worth you spending your hard earned dollars on him ??????????

Details to you because your not the one paying . LOL

 

[Occasionally]

Of course the man is expected to pay the tab. Of course there is the exception of his birthday or the fact that the lady simply wants to treat him to dinner once in a while. But for the most part it is courteous and chivalrous for the man to pay the tab, or hold the door for a woman.

Spoken like a true gold digger.

That's the difference in men's and women's attitudes. You rarely see guys running around trying to find a women to pay the bills. Even if a guy makes low pay at a crummy job, you never see a guy trying to mooch as many freebies off a partner or date. Usually, guys are the ones who work, get a pay cheque, and don't expect or feel entitled to have someone else pay their tab.

It's not a matter of "being a man" or "manning up". It's just the way men and women think.

Whether people like it or not, guys put more effort into things in general (career, expected to all the shit like shoveling snow, building decks, checking the car because something's wonky about it, mounting TVs onto walls, etc.... It's not like all guys are expert in doing this stuff. But they still put in the effort to at least give it a shot before calling a professional contractor). It would be great in the year 2016, if women didn't treat modern day like like it's 100 years ago when the guys went to work and the women stayed home.

Nowadays, both people usually go through the daily grind of going to work and taking care of the kids. The guy is expected to do most of the physical work, so it would be great if some women would at least toss in a few bucks, as opposed to treating the guy like Mr. Bottomless Pockets. Most women work too now.

 

[Butler1000]

Thanks for that Sasha! The sense of entitlement just continues to reafirm my thoughts on a portion of the female population.

Glad I picked a good one.........

 

[Occasionally]

Thanks for that Sasha! The sense of entitlement just continues to reafirm my thoughts on a portion of the female population.

Glad I picked a good one.........

LOL. It's funny because in one of my older posts, I posted that some female coworkers of mine have that kind entitled attitude, and Sasha's is no different.

One coworker in particular having been dating the same guy states she paid for one meal out of the many times they've ate out or done things together, and her attitude paying one single meal is like it's the biggest accomplishment ever.

 

[Aellyn Rose]

That's pretty funny. Here we have a woman who charges $400.00 for each and every hour of her time, espousing how women make less than men. It's 2016, honey!

Very glad my post would amuse you!
It was a pretty concise post, yet you managed to miss the part where I specify I am talking about civilians.
Lastly, there is no need to make any of this personal.
Peace,

 

[ParkersPillows]

Of course the man is expected to pay the tab. Of course there is the exception of his birthday or the fact that the lady simply wants to treat him to dinner once in a while. But for the most part it is courteous and chivalrous for the man to pay the tab, or hold the door for a woman. It may be old fashioned but it's a sign of respect and manliness. Normally a man that refuses to pay the tab is a sure sign of a man that doesn't have his life together or doesn't have manners and believe women should take care of him.

We can't demand equality but hold onto the unreasonable, sexist, dating rituals from before we were allowed to vote.

 

[Titalian]

Well, why don't you experiment and find out?

When you finish dinner just say to her, "I would really like to fuck you. Why don't you pay the bill and we'll go back to your place and I will make you scream?"

Let us know how it goes...

Perry

Lol you got it sir. To the op, apart from paying for what ever on a first date, the paying part is in the least going to get her attention, especially if she is in demand.
You have to be innovative and that sometimes means honesty and confidence. You'd be surprised at the results.