Incall pet peeves

[Velvets]

Some of my pet peeves at incalls. List yours

1) really cheap crappy towels.
Some agencies have really old really small towels that can barely absorb any water after a shower.
Others have newer towels that are pretty small and thin. Worse than the towels at a 2 star motel.
Terrible towels - Mirage and SFT
Good towels - DD and Secrets
Spend a few $ and get some decent towels !
2) no visible clocks in the rooms.
A visible clock would help manage the time better than the jarring alarms that some SPs set. I hate the alarm. Really throws me off.
You can probably get a cheap clock at Dollarama.
3) no non slip mat in the bathtub. I’ve almost slipped many times and did actually slip once but landed on the shower curtain which saved me from a bad fall.
Bath mats are pretty cheap.
4) no hooks for your clothes in the bathroom.
5) cheap watered down mouthwash or bodywash
6) arrive at the door and it’s locked and they don’t answer the door so you have to keep knocking feel very awkward and conspicuous
7) when it’s pretty obvious that the SP hasn’t showered after the previous appointment.
Best sign of this is when she puts all her lingerie back on at the end of the appointment rather than having a robe.

 

[Shaquille Oatmeal]

My biggest pet peeve, is not being let up on time. Making me wait out for 10 to 15 mins.

 

[JeanGary Diablo]

Pets.

Now hear me out, I love dogs and cats, but I wouldn't want them around during a session.

I won't even have sex with a woman with my own dog in the room -- I consider him a friend, and I wouldn't bang someone with one of my buddies watching either.

 

[greensquare]

Asking me if I can take them to Walmart or go myself and buy them toilet paper because they're almost out along with cigs.

I hate my life...

/sarcasm

 

[Hybrid7]

No glassware or water bottles in the unit. Makes it a pain in the ass to share a bottle of booze or to rehydrate. Especially annoying for fat fucks like me who sweat a lot.

I’ll never forget trying to share sparkling wine out of the mouthwash cups

 

[greensquare]

When I walk in and they mistake me for another john via text and are like are you the guy who wanted anal while we wore cowboy hats?

For the love of God, please read your texts again once I text I'm here. I dont wanna hear that stuff. Cowboy hats??? Anal??? You're talking about another John in front of me? What about me and my feelings only that I booked???

 

[Photoboy]

No hooks on the bathroom room to hang your clothes.

 

[Haggy64]

Pets.

Now hear me out, I love dogs and cats, but I wouldn't want them around during a session.

I won't even have sex with a woman with my own dog in the room -- I consider him a friend, and I wouldn't bang someone with one of my buddies watching either.

Hahaha!! I’ve only encountered this once but yah!! I just keep thinking of Seth Rogan in 40 year old Virgin when they are talking about the freakiest sex they’ve ever had.. And he says he was banging this chick and her dog started licking his ass… The guys say did u finish or??? And he says yah I finished , then I stole the dog haha!

I would add when the unit looks like a cyclone went through it… like clothes, dishes and shit everywhere..
Also having an early appt and already seeing a trash can of tissues by the bed almost overflowing…. Just off putting…Put it in trash with a lid somewhere ..

I see one SP regularly who brings her own posh towels and high end body wash/shampoo etc… classy!!

 

[Haggy64]

No glassware or water bottles in the unit. Makes it a pain in the ass to share a bottle of booze or to rehydrate. Especially annoying for fat fucks like me who sweat a lot.

I’ll never forget trying to share sparkling wine out of the mouthwash cups

 

[greensquare]

During the middle of doing it or a bj and their other phone rings and based on the ringtone they stop and say they gotta take it because it's their parent, sibling, kid or bff so then I sit up naked staring at the wall with art work including with my pants to my ankles if it's a bj then I hear in the background from her: "OMG!! I can't believe Jonathan is in jail again!! What happen this time???"

That's when my phone comes out and I go on Terb before I put some porn on or play a game. Naked of course. Butt fucking naked.

 

[greensquare]

When we're doing it in the living room and her grandpa comes out of the spare room and is like don't mind me I've got to use the bathroom while he's covering his eyes with his hand. Then he's like I dont have my hearing aids in so keep pounding away.

That was the last time I booked someone over 44. The worst part is continuing then hearing the bathroom door open once he was done. I kept going cause money was on the line or I'd stop out of respect.

 

[The Options Menu]

Almost no incalls have a chair / stool / bench by the door.

I love something to sit on by the door, especially once boot season starts. My after sex legs aren't always great when it comes to putting my footwear back on. It's nice to sit my ass down without walking across the unit with my dirty shoes / boots.

 

[greensquare]

When the motel manager bangs on the door and shouts for us to keep it down cause the guy next door complained. Then the manager claims the lady in my room is shouting "Oh my God!! Oh my God" and if we continue to do so we need to leave and go to a church because we're praying too loud.

Then we have to be quiet otherwise if we did travel to a church that would cut into my time and I only book 20min sessions. The bittersweet joys of being good at something. Sigh...

 

[JohnnyWishbone]

1. Crap, old towels (as mentioned by others)
2. Dirty bathroom which looks like has never been cleaned
3. Poor lighting - I want to be able to see what I am paying for and seeing if they have herpes or something else...they should want good lighting too for the same reasons (Though they sometimes want to mask the ugliness of the client/mask the demographic of the client to help them get through the session. I've heard this a few times in the past few years - they hate a certain demographic but they want the money and need to get through the session with them)
4. Playing shitty music and too loud
5. No mirrors to watch yourself in action!
6. Seeing a trash can full of used condoms (spoils the fantasy just a little bit LOL)

 

[greensquare]

Word to the wise dont book 20mins GFE sessions. We end up wasting the first 10 mins trying to figure out what to watch on Netflix.

PSE pants come off as soon as you enter. Learned that after 3 sessions. Had to make sure the first two weren't sessions where I was doing something wrong.

 

[xix]

Hotel / Motel - Condo..

One to many times the SP is not by the door and there was a family ( children ) walking by or approaching me - door. All SP's hide behind the door when they open, which is good, but most times the kids walked by as the door opened.
I am sure on a Hotel / Motel they can ask for an area / floor where the kids are not there. Yes this would be hard in a Condo.

If she was by the door and waiting, then let me in instantly with first round knock ( 1-3 knocks ) and not the third round, life would be smooth for both of us.
I was in a Motel where the family was playing on the balcony platform next to my room, ( 2nd floor) you better believe it I was ready to open the door since the stairs was almost in front of me.

New condos I learned to never leave or exit by the stairs, to many security locks and can't get back in unless you have the key card or find the exit door on the First floor or ground or low level. I wished we had a law for these descriptions on elevators - First floor or ground or low level.

I agree with all the above comments posted.

 

[greensquare]

When you book someone in the GTA and you're hanging out in their living room for a bit so you glance around quick and spot an item that says Montreal Canadians.

 

[Forzafonz]

Low quality wash/soap in the bathroom. All SPs love to point out how clients need to take shower. However most often than not agencies provide the cheapest 7 in 1 body wash from Dollarama which causes a rash next day.

 

[JeanGary Diablo]

Hahaha!! I’ve only encountered this once but yah!! I just keep thinking of Seth Rogan in 40 year old Virgin when they are talking about the freakiest sex they’ve ever had.. And he says he was banging this chick and her dog started licking his ass… The guys say did u finish or??? And he says yah I finished , then I stole the dog haha!

I would add when the unit looks like a cyclone went through it… like clothes, dishes and shit everywhere..
Also having an early appt and already seeing a trash can of tissues by the bed almost overflowing…. Just off putting…Put it in trash with a lid somewhere ..

I see one SP regularly who brings her own posh towels and high end body wash/shampoo etc… classy!!

If I might add one funny story I once heard -- and I don't know if this is true or not, it's just something I heard from a guy I knew who "knew a guy".

Apparently, this guy had a fling with a woman he met while they were both out walking their dogs. He had a male dog, she had a female dog. So, the story goes that while he was in bed with this female dog-walker he met, their two dogs were screwing in the next room, LOL.

Again, I have my doubts about the authenticity of this story, but if it's true, it's funny as hell, lol.

 

[hi_there]

When we're doing it in the living room and her grandpa comes out of the spare room and is like don't mind me I've got to use the bathroom while he's covering his eyes with his hand. Then he's like I dont have my hearing aids in so keep pounding away.

That was the last time I booked someone over 44. The worst part is continuing then hearing the bathroom door open once he was done. I kept going cause money was on the line or I'd stop out of respect.

Omg I need to hear more of this story lol