Reverie

Ideas For Wedding Speech

GameBoy27

Well-known member
Nov 23, 2004
12,902
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Can't help you with the speech itself, but I saw a friend do this once. He pulled out a sheet of paper, unfolded it and said "Hi, I'm Derek Armstrong, and I'm an alcoholic." His eyes widened as he casually folded it back up and remarked "sorry, wrong speech" then pull out another and continued with the correct one. That sure broke the ice. lol
 

oil&gas

Well-known member
Apr 16, 2002
13,772
2,185
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Ghawar
May the Groom eat the same pussy for many years to come. May the Bride give the Groom head at least once a year for many years to come.
You have to be kidding! The bride walked down
the aisle smiling upon anticipation of not having to
give the groom BJ any more as the wife.
 

superstar_88

The Chiseler
Jan 4, 2008
5,636
1,202
113
Save yourself the stress and just quote a classic:

SONNET 116

"Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come:
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved."


You'll add class to the moment, toast them well and come off quite erudite.
Half the people will know he got it off Terb
 

rhuarc29

Well-known member
Apr 15, 2009
9,650
1,312
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True colours come out at the most important moments in life.

Dignity, warmth, class and sincerity will be remembered.

Trying to be a comedian when you aren’t one will also be remembered.

The choice is yours. Head held high the rest of the night and in the future. Or being seen as an idiot by family and friends for a long time.
When my brother got married, my first draft was a sincere, somewhat dignified speech. I hated it.
I started from scratch and wrote a much more lighthearted speech. Ended up being perfect.

So I guess my suggestion would be to write multiple speeches with various tones, then pick your favorite. Even get suggestions from others on which one fits best.
 

Spunky1

Well-known member
Feb 25, 2019
1,056
948
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I read once where some guy recited Quint's speech from Jaws about the SS Indianapolis. Word for word and nothing else.

I hope he read it with Quint's accent....

Japanese submarine slammed two torpedoes into her side, Chief. We was comin’ back from the island of Tinian to Leyte. We’d just delivered the bomb. The Hiroshima bomb. Eleven hundred men went into the water. Vessel went down in 12 minutes.

Didn’t see the first shark for about a half-hour. Tiger. 13-footer. You know how you know that in the water, Chief? You can tell by lookin’ from the dorsal to the tail. What we didn’t know, was that our bomb mission was so secret, no distress signal had been sent. They didn’t even list us overdue for a week. Very first light, Chief, sharks come cruisin’ by, so we formed ourselves into tight groups. It was sorta like you see in the calendars, you know the infantry squares in the old calendars like the Battle of Waterloo and the idea was the shark come to the nearest man, that man he starts poundin’ and hollerin’ and sometimes that shark he go away… but sometimes he wouldn’t go away.

Sometimes that shark looks right at ya. Right into your eyes. And the thing about a shark is he’s got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll’s eyes. When he comes at ya, he doesn’t even seem to be livin’… ’til he bites ya, and those black eyes roll over white and then… ah then you hear that terrible high-pitched screamin’. The ocean turns red, and despite all your poundin’ and your hollerin’ those sharks come in and… they rip you to pieces.

You know by the end of that first dawn, lost a hundred men. I don’t know how many sharks there were, maybe a thousand. I do know how many men, they averaged six an hour. Thursday mornin’, Chief, I bumped into a friend of mine, Herbie Robinson from Cleveland. Baseball player. Boson’s mate. I thought he was asleep. I reached over to wake him up. He bobbed up, down in the water, he was like a kinda top. Upended. Well, he’d been bitten in half below the waist. Anyway, we delivered the bomb.”

At noon on the fifth day, a Lockheed Ventura swung in low and he spotted us, a young pilot, lot younger than Mr. Hooper here, anyway he spotted us and a few hours later a big ol’ fat PBY come down and started to pick us up. You know that was the time I was most frightened. Waitin’ for my turn. I’ll never put on a lifejacket again. So, eleven hundred men went into the water. 316 men come out, the sharks took the rest, June the 29th, 1945.Anyway, we delivered the bomb.”
 

spraggamuffin

Well-known member
Oct 6, 2006
3,294
160
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I use the same speech for all occasions.

"(Insert occasion/event) make me speechless".
 
Ashley Madison
Toronto Escorts