I need some help (from strangers)

[gramage]

Ok so theres been something seriously messing with my life for a while now that I really can't bring myself to talk to anyone who I know about. So since I only know one person on this board (and they are the only person remotely aware of this issue) this is the only place I can think of to ask advice.
be warned the more conservative among you may find this sickening so you may want to skip it.
here goes.
The company I work for occasionally asks me to work at different branches it has in the city, and last summer I was doing a few at a location where I met a woman I really hit it off with. I tried hooking up with her and we went out a few times before she told me she really wasn't interested in men, but wanted to remain friends which I was cool with.
about a month later after we've become quite cool with each other she drops a bomb: she's a pre-op transexual (or as she put it has an incorrect chromosone).
This is not a joke.
I've been trying to forget about this but it keeps fucking with me. Mainly because even though I know I still can't tell that she's anything other then a woman and this is really fucking with my already weak love life. I can't seem to get that interested in anyone, and the attempts I've maid to make SP appointments fell through, and I have to admit I think I sabotaged myself on them.
so I ask the room of strangers who I can admit this too: what the fuck is wrong with me? and more importantly what the hell do I do to get over this shit?

 

[duan Juan]

I say just go with it. whatever feels
good man. isn't that what its all about.
maybe you're ready to try something new.
dj

 

[LancsLad]

You said pre-op transsexual without specifying the direction.

One possibility could be that she is an outwardly genetic female, the regular type, who feels she should be a guy and therefore does not want to dat real guys, ie you. She might think that as an aspiring male ( not had the operation yet) she should not see men.


If thats the case then no big deal. You had a physical attraction ( lust) for a physically attractive looking feminine person who, it turns out , doesn't want to be that way. You are in the clear.


Just one theory anyway.

 

[Never Compromised]

You met someone you thought was a woman. You thought she was hot. You became friends. What's the problem?

So what if she is undergoing gender reassignment, it is going to be the same person. If you like the person, don't get uptight about it.

On a romantic level, you have to find someone else. Book an in call somewhere and don't sabotage it and be happy.

 

[red]

you are thinking too much and psyching yourself out. stop worrying so much and just get laid

 

[W3bster]

Could you even fathom how fucked up you would feel if your physical gender and your brain gender weren't the same?

 

[trisket]

It's understandable to question yourself and your sexual feelings, you had a connection with a person who wasn't as they appeared.
If it leaves you conflicted, imagine how difficult living has been for your friend. Lend an ear, try to give her support.

Your own problem should solve itself with a bit of time if you keep seeing other women.

 

[train]

Why do you think this is screwing you up ?

Do you worry that you subconsiously want to screw a tranny? So what ? Hell on Merb there is a whole section on Shemales in the broader Fetish section. I'm sure that is not all that unusual given that there seems to be shemale sp's.

Are you stressed because you almost had a "Crying Game" moment and can't trust your choice in women ?There have been a few super hot shemales making the internet rounds that any red blooded male would do until it's revealed that they are pre-op. Hell there was even a game around where contestants had to guess. I'll admit I didn't get them all correct.

No big deal.

 

[The Fruity Hare]

Well. Gramage, you have a number of replies and not a snicker amongst them, so maybe you are being too hard on yourself and people on TERB aren't as conservative as you thought(Go figure!).

Some time ago, a friend of mine freaked out because the girl he was dating turned out to be a guy. Big shock. He was confused and didn't know what to do. He thought he was gay, and was despondent. I asked him if he wanted to have sex with men. The answer was NO!

We went to the Brass Rail to verify his choice, and everything turned out ok.

Gramage, sometimes people tend to think too much and over analyze. Don't go there. You were attracted to what you thought was a woman.

If you aren't ready for a SP, maybe go to a massage parlour and get back on track.

 

[a 1 player]

I say this without malice. Forget about it.

He/she is at leat an honest person and has integrity, they told you. They dropped a big bomb on you and I'm sure that wasn't easy on them. Look on the bright side, you've gained a new friend. Show the person the same respect, be a friend. Obviously you two genuinely like each other as friends. Go with it. If you think it is hard for you, put yourself in the other persons shoes for a minute. Fuck, just think about the problems they have getting dates, or a serious relationship.

Again, and I mean this genuinely. This may be the most perfect and unique opportunity to gain insight into the other sex. I doubt very many people in the world have the insight into both sexes that they do. Go for it, be a friend.

 

[Eli]

Wasn't this an Alley McBeal episode?