I guess she's been busy planning our upcoming wedding... although Survivor KW may change those plans. She wasn't working last night and was out doing "personal" things... try again.
I love this place ........
- Thread starter anselmo
- Start date
Contact. I have made contact. Tee-off time has been set and I'm cleaning my clubs. Time to play a great new course, Red Jenna. I will let you guys know how I shoot after the game. Got to practice all my shots and make sure I make the right club selection as I here it's a challenging course. Lot of deep bunkers, a couple of bumps along the way and a pretty slick green, so I better make sure I use the right amount of weight on my shots or the ball won't roll in. Can even be harder if there are some water hazards along the way, so I better remember to follow through on all my shots. Calloway, I'll let you know if I need a caddy as you are quite familiar with this course.
Sorry, he studied the wrong Course!
From what I hear, anselmo studied the wrong Course! What a fatal error...
Ok, it's a new course. Yes, there is shooting allowed. It's challenging. Deep Bunkers, bumps, and slick greens are not unexpected..
But wait! The balls rolling in ??? No, that course does not allow that option! Since no part of the club is allowed to touch the hole, it follows that the balls will NEVER get "in" as they are positioned next to the club!
Hardness is a function of age (for some players). Oh, "harder!" - a fantasy for guys of anselmo's age. Water hazards are nothing.. The shootings to everywhere but the hole will follow through as controlled by the body if not restricted..
One important thing.. Contact me (CEO) at once if and when the course rules on putting into the hole is allowed on the "Red J" course. I will be the first to book time on it, right behind a virgin named "Calloway".
From what I hear, anselmo studied the wrong Course! What a fatal error...
Ok, it's a new course. Yes, there is shooting allowed. It's challenging. Deep Bunkers, bumps, and slick greens are not unexpected..
But wait! The balls rolling in ??? No, that course does not allow that option! Since no part of the club is allowed to touch the hole, it follows that the balls will NEVER get "in" as they are positioned next to the club!
Hardness is a function of age (for some players). Oh, "harder!" - a fantasy for guys of anselmo's age. Water hazards are nothing.. The shootings to everywhere but the hole will follow through as controlled by the body if not restricted..
One important thing.. Contact me (CEO) at once if and when the course rules on putting into the hole is allowed on the "Red J" course. I will be the first to book time on it, right behind a virgin named "Calloway".
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You're right CEO... Anselmo is way off in the bush and clearly on the wrong golf course. If he tries to get in the hole under par... Red Jenna will kick his ass so bad he'll seriously think about taking up needlepointing...
Okay... here are a couple "safe" golfing jokes...
An older couple are playing in the annual club championship. They are playing in a play off hole and it is down to a 6 inch putt that the wife has to make. She takes her stance and her husband can see her trembling. She putts and misses, they lose the match. On the way home in the car her husband is fuming, "I can't believe you missed that putt!" "That putt was no longer than my 'willy'" The wife just looked over at her husband and smiled and said, "Yes dear, but it was much harder!"
A guy was on a holiday in Mexico and rented a car to go to the nearest golf course for a round of golf. When he returned the car, the man in the car rental agency noticed that the golfer had dropped something in the front seat and said: "Excuse me, sir, but are these yours?" "Yes, thanks, those are my tees." "What do you do with them?" "I put my balls on them when I drive..."
Okay... here are a couple "safe" golfing jokes...
An older couple are playing in the annual club championship. They are playing in a play off hole and it is down to a 6 inch putt that the wife has to make. She takes her stance and her husband can see her trembling. She putts and misses, they lose the match. On the way home in the car her husband is fuming, "I can't believe you missed that putt!" "That putt was no longer than my 'willy'" The wife just looked over at her husband and smiled and said, "Yes dear, but it was much harder!"
A guy was on a holiday in Mexico and rented a car to go to the nearest golf course for a round of golf. When he returned the car, the man in the car rental agency noticed that the golfer had dropped something in the front seat and said: "Excuse me, sir, but are these yours?" "Yes, thanks, those are my tees." "What do you do with them?" "I put my balls on them when I drive..."
It's obvious both you Calloway and CEO don't play golf the way I do. I've had the pleasure of playing on many lovely courses throughout North America and never had any complaints about the way I play. If some courses didn't allow the type of golf I play, they quickly changed the rules after they appreciated my golf game. The trick is to take many practice strokes and when you read the green properly you take one big backstroke and then, very important here, you must follow through on your front stroke. You must swing your club in the direction of the hole and follow though as far as you can go. Once the clubhead paves the way in the direction of the hole, the ball automatically follows the clubhead and into the hole. I actually play better in wet weather cause the holes are more foregiving and the ball seems to slick and slide easier and drops into to the hole. Another important thing, it is a lot easier if your balls are hard cause it drops in easier.
This is not an easy way to play the game, but my goal is not to break par, Calloway. In fact my golf game is much more enjoyable by shooting many strokes way over par. The higher the score the more enjoyable the game. The best part though is appreciating the view of the golf course and playing on every square inch of the course, and yes Calloway, playing in the bush is a good thing, not a bad thing.
I heard the Red Jenna layout is demanding and tiring and hope the course won't bite me in the ass. Maybe that's a good thing!
CEO, I'll let you know if this course allows putting into the hole. However, I hear the course might become private after I've finished playing there and you might be out of luck.
This is not an easy way to play the game, but my goal is not to break par, Calloway. In fact my golf game is much more enjoyable by shooting many strokes way over par. The higher the score the more enjoyable the game. The best part though is appreciating the view of the golf course and playing on every square inch of the course, and yes Calloway, playing in the bush is a good thing, not a bad thing.
I heard the Red Jenna layout is demanding and tiring and hope the course won't bite me in the ass. Maybe that's a good thing!
CEO, I'll let you know if this course allows putting into the hole. However, I hear the course might become private after I've finished playing there and you might be out of luck.
Anselmo... you have an amazing sense of humour and a very welcome addition to our KW team. Just for you... I'm going to ask Red Jenna to give you a little extra practice time on the driving range and putting green... you've obviously graduated from the pitch and putt locations. Red Jenna is an exclusive private course and not semi-private or public.
Well Calloway, you're a gentleman and a scholar! I appreciate you contacting Jenna for a "little extra" and I will be thinking of you the whole time. LOL I know Jenna thinks alot of you and she''ll actually believe you.
Here's a golf joke for you.
I was playing golf with a buddy of mine and I shanked one into the bushes ( what else is new) and went looking for the ball. Found the ball in the middle of all these buttercup flowers and set up to hit the ball when a voice from above said, " Don't hit the buttercups and I'll give you all the butter you ever want." I was shocked but shrugged it off and set up again. The voice came again and said " Don't hit the buttercups and I'll give you all the butter you ever want". I thought I was hearing things so I set up one one last time. As I went on my backswing the voice came again, " Don't hit the buttercups and I'll give you all the butter you ever want." Now I heard that clearly, dropped my club and looked up into the sky and said,
"Where were you when I hit my ball into the pussywillows on the last hole?"
Here's a golf joke for you.
I was playing golf with a buddy of mine and I shanked one into the bushes ( what else is new) and went looking for the ball. Found the ball in the middle of all these buttercup flowers and set up to hit the ball when a voice from above said, " Don't hit the buttercups and I'll give you all the butter you ever want." I was shocked but shrugged it off and set up again. The voice came again and said " Don't hit the buttercups and I'll give you all the butter you ever want". I thought I was hearing things so I set up one one last time. As I went on my backswing the voice came again, " Don't hit the buttercups and I'll give you all the butter you ever want." Now I heard that clearly, dropped my club and looked up into the sky and said,
"Where were you when I hit my ball into the pussywillows on the last hole?"
I think that it is time..
To ask the moderators to change the Title of this thread to include the "golfing" elements into it.
Many a hobbyist/golfers can then appreciate and contribute to this thread.
I heard from ER Chat that there is quite a following on this thread from members in other sections once they found it! they (actually a few ladies) were very interested in us golfing gentlemen and our tactics when playing our beloved game(s).
To ask the moderators to change the Title of this thread to include the "golfing" elements into it.
Many a hobbyist/golfers can then appreciate and contribute to this thread.
I heard from ER Chat that there is quite a following on this thread from members in other sections once they found it! they (actually a few ladies) were very interested in us golfing gentlemen and our tactics when playing our beloved game(s).
My $.02
BTW - Anselmo, you might be misunderstanding the services that RJ offers - she's an MPA first & foremost.
Now the joke:
A Canadian businessman is working over in Japan & one of his Japanese compatriots sets him up with a beautiful geisha girl. She comes over to his place and he’s quite taken with her – she’s shy & demure & quite beautiful in that Asian flower kind of way. So they start making out & one thing leads to another. He ends up dimming the lights & undressing her. Pretty soon things are going hot & heavy so he goes for it – he pushes into her & she cries out “Kanji�. He looks down and she seems quite excited & involved so he pushes again ““Kanji�. He figures she’s getting more & more excited & starts pounding away “Kanji. Kanji! KANJI!�
The next day he’s at the office & his friend asks him what he thought of the geisha. “She was amazing & as a thank you I’d like to take you golfing.� So they head out to the links & the Japanese business man tees it up on the first hole – 300 yards down the fairway, one hop & into the hole. The Canadian is dumbfounded & wants to let his new friend know how excited he is, but he doesn’t know any Japanese. Then he flashes back to the night before with the Geisha & starts jumping up & down & yelling “Kanji. Kanji! KANJI!�
The Japanese friend looks at him “What do you mean wrong hole?�
BTW - Anselmo, you might be misunderstanding the services that RJ offers - she's an MPA first & foremost.
Now the joke:
A Canadian businessman is working over in Japan & one of his Japanese compatriots sets him up with a beautiful geisha girl. She comes over to his place and he’s quite taken with her – she’s shy & demure & quite beautiful in that Asian flower kind of way. So they start making out & one thing leads to another. He ends up dimming the lights & undressing her. Pretty soon things are going hot & heavy so he goes for it – he pushes into her & she cries out “Kanji�. He looks down and she seems quite excited & involved so he pushes again ““Kanji�. He figures she’s getting more & more excited & starts pounding away “Kanji. Kanji! KANJI!�
The next day he’s at the office & his friend asks him what he thought of the geisha. “She was amazing & as a thank you I’d like to take you golfing.� So they head out to the links & the Japanese business man tees it up on the first hole – 300 yards down the fairway, one hop & into the hole. The Canadian is dumbfounded & wants to let his new friend know how excited he is, but he doesn’t know any Japanese. Then he flashes back to the night before with the Geisha & starts jumping up & down & yelling “Kanji. Kanji! KANJI!�
The Japanese friend looks at him “What do you mean wrong hole?�
Nice one Rogie not buying it as the Jenna course has been highly praised for providing complete and full service to golfers.
Hey CEO, get the names and contact info of those other ladies. The prospect of playing new golf courses really excites me. Each course is unique as the layout varies due to bunker design, amount of water hazzards, hilliness of the terrain, amount of bush or trees to contend with, size and slickness of the greens, length of the holes, etc... We also need to know the Course Rating and Slope Index of each course so we can adjust our handicap and how we would play on each course.
Maybe you can list the top 10 courses and let's play them and then we can compare our scores, how much fees were, and brag about the long drives we had, how many shots we took to complete the course( remember the more the better in this game), and generally comment on how much we liked playing the course. Maybe we can play as foursomes and change partners once and a while to make it more interesting. Oh, I love this game.
Hey CEO, get the names and contact info of those other ladies. The prospect of playing new golf courses really excites me. Each course is unique as the layout varies due to bunker design, amount of water hazzards, hilliness of the terrain, amount of bush or trees to contend with, size and slickness of the greens, length of the holes, etc... We also need to know the Course Rating and Slope Index of each course so we can adjust our handicap and how we would play on each course.
Maybe you can list the top 10 courses and let's play them and then we can compare our scores, how much fees were, and brag about the long drives we had, how many shots we took to complete the course( remember the more the better in this game), and generally comment on how much we liked playing the course. Maybe we can play as foursomes and change partners once and a while to make it more interesting. Oh, I love this game.
CEO tends to like the more mature and well-developed courses... rather than the new young ones that are flat and their bushes are still growing in...
Is that why CEO hasn't played the RJenna course yet? That must mean his clubs must be getting really old now and not getting the distance anymore. He must be swinging a lot slower and if he can get anywhere near the hole, that must be a good shot for him.
Power carts are not for me..
Actually, I pull my own cart and been to some very longgggg... courses.
With the cart handles over my shoulder, I pull my cart back and foreth all day long. This way, the club and balls always find their proper spot and never slip out as well.
I agree, at times this looks like I am pushing rather than pulling. And, in general, it is really an equal amount of "pulling' and "pushing".
The Important thing is that, it eventually gets where I want it to go.... and this is what playing the course is all about!
Massage table ? what's that ? where do I find it on a golf course ???
Actually, I pull my own cart and been to some very longgggg... courses.
With the cart handles over my shoulder, I pull my cart back and foreth all day long. This way, the club and balls always find their proper spot and never slip out as well.
I agree, at times this looks like I am pushing rather than pulling. And, in general, it is really an equal amount of "pulling' and "pushing".
The Important thing is that, it eventually gets where I want it to go.... and this is what playing the course is all about!
Massage table ? what's that ? where do I find it on a golf course ???
Five Steps to Develop the Perfect Stroke...
1. Position
Position yourself so your eyes are over the intended line on the SP or MPA. To do this, hold your "unit" loosely and directly under your eyes as you address the young lady and let gravity take it straight down. Now, make sure that when you look down at your "unit", that it covers the target fully. If not, move forward or back until it does. Ball position should be slightly forward (toward the left foot). Hands should also be forward. Align the shaft with the left forearm. This position promotes a good roll...
2. Grip
Your hands should work as a unit and not be spread apart. The farther apart your hands are, the more likely you are to use your wrists, which is not desired. (The stroke originates in the shoulders and arms.) Use a normal grip, with three fingers of each hand on the "unit" and the others just along for the ride. Use relatively light (5 on a scale of 1-10) grip pressure in order to promote feel.
3. Aim
Find a target and imagine a straight line through the center of your favourite SP or MPA. Don't get too caught up in the line that your feet make, but do be sure the "unit" is square to the target. This is also the line your stroke should follow. Don't tilt your head, or you'll distort the perspective.
4. Stroke
Your stroke should be dominated by the shoulders and arms and involve as little wrist movement as possible. Minimize body movement, and try not to shift weight or turn the hips.
5. Acceleration
Successful hobbyists have a backswing and follow-through of equal length. This promotes acceleration and aids distance control. One of the most common faults is a hobbyist taking the "unit" way back and then stopping on the down stroke, as they try to anticipate the hit. Remember to stroke through... or not at it.
1. Position
Position yourself so your eyes are over the intended line on the SP or MPA. To do this, hold your "unit" loosely and directly under your eyes as you address the young lady and let gravity take it straight down. Now, make sure that when you look down at your "unit", that it covers the target fully. If not, move forward or back until it does. Ball position should be slightly forward (toward the left foot). Hands should also be forward. Align the shaft with the left forearm. This position promotes a good roll...
2. Grip
Your hands should work as a unit and not be spread apart. The farther apart your hands are, the more likely you are to use your wrists, which is not desired. (The stroke originates in the shoulders and arms.) Use a normal grip, with three fingers of each hand on the "unit" and the others just along for the ride. Use relatively light (5 on a scale of 1-10) grip pressure in order to promote feel.
3. Aim
Find a target and imagine a straight line through the center of your favourite SP or MPA. Don't get too caught up in the line that your feet make, but do be sure the "unit" is square to the target. This is also the line your stroke should follow. Don't tilt your head, or you'll distort the perspective.
4. Stroke
Your stroke should be dominated by the shoulders and arms and involve as little wrist movement as possible. Minimize body movement, and try not to shift weight or turn the hips.
5. Acceleration
Successful hobbyists have a backswing and follow-through of equal length. This promotes acceleration and aids distance control. One of the most common faults is a hobbyist taking the "unit" way back and then stopping on the down stroke, as they try to anticipate the hit. Remember to stroke through... or not at it.
Now you're getting the hang of it Calloway. Good tips. Remember that on your acceleration down and through you must;
1. Inside/Out:
Have an inside/out swing. Most hobbysts have an outside/in swing which always creates a slice on the ball and will get lost in the bushes somewhere.
2. Weight Transfer
You must have proper weight transfer from your rear leg to your front leg. This will give maximun distance when you shoot.
3. Square your Hips
You must turn and square your hips as you're accelerating through so that your clubhead faces directly at the target ahead of you and allows your ball to go straight where you want it to go.
4. Tempo
You must keep consistent clubhead speed back and forth. Most hobbysts make the mistake of slowing down as they swing through towards the target. Big mistake! You must keep going through and preferably a little whip action towards the end of your swing to get that little bit of more distance. Remeber, that a little bit of extra distance, no matter how small, can make a big difference on how you score on some courses.
5. Repeat as Necessary
If you still can't get it, keep repeating and keep all these tips in your mind. Eventually you'll get it or get tired. If you can't get it right and you're tired, call me and I'll show you how to do it right on your course at no charge.
1. Inside/Out:
Have an inside/out swing. Most hobbysts have an outside/in swing which always creates a slice on the ball and will get lost in the bushes somewhere.
2. Weight Transfer
You must have proper weight transfer from your rear leg to your front leg. This will give maximun distance when you shoot.
3. Square your Hips
You must turn and square your hips as you're accelerating through so that your clubhead faces directly at the target ahead of you and allows your ball to go straight where you want it to go.
4. Tempo
You must keep consistent clubhead speed back and forth. Most hobbysts make the mistake of slowing down as they swing through towards the target. Big mistake! You must keep going through and preferably a little whip action towards the end of your swing to get that little bit of more distance. Remeber, that a little bit of extra distance, no matter how small, can make a big difference on how you score on some courses.
5. Repeat as Necessary
If you still can't get it, keep repeating and keep all these tips in your mind. Eventually you'll get it or get tired. If you can't get it right and you're tired, call me and I'll show you how to do it right on your course at no charge.
Anselmo... these lessons are getting very expensive.
1. Use swing speed to alter distance. Practice until you can gauge distance by your personal swing speeds.
2. Make the "unit" enter behind the balls at a steep angle to hit shorter... and a shallower angle to hit longer. A steeper angle allows the "unit" to get under the ball and lift it.
3. Take 2-3 inches of bush with each shot. Less bush will spin the ball more, but is risky. Practice by drawing a line in the bush behind the ball and hit that spot.
4. Establish firm footing by digging your feet in slightly.
5. Use an open stance (left foot spread to the left) to restrict backswing length and steepen the swing.
6. Open the "unit" face slightly to offset the open stance. Open it more if you want a higher, softer shot.
7. Keep your wrists firm through impact and don't release your hands until well after impact.
8. Visualize a steep, "U-shaped" swing.
1. Use swing speed to alter distance. Practice until you can gauge distance by your personal swing speeds.
2. Make the "unit" enter behind the balls at a steep angle to hit shorter... and a shallower angle to hit longer. A steeper angle allows the "unit" to get under the ball and lift it.
3. Take 2-3 inches of bush with each shot. Less bush will spin the ball more, but is risky. Practice by drawing a line in the bush behind the ball and hit that spot.
4. Establish firm footing by digging your feet in slightly.
5. Use an open stance (left foot spread to the left) to restrict backswing length and steepen the swing.
6. Open the "unit" face slightly to offset the open stance. Open it more if you want a higher, softer shot.
7. Keep your wrists firm through impact and don't release your hands until well after impact.
8. Visualize a steep, "U-shaped" swing.
Re: Power carts are not for me..
I carry, but not everyone has the clubs to manage that feat.ceo8888ca said:Actually, I pull my own cart and been to some very longgggg... courses.
With the cart handles over my shoulder, I pull my cart back and foreth all day long. This way, the club and balls always find their proper spot and never slip out as well.
I agree, at times this looks like I am pushing rather than pulling. And, in general, it is really an equal amount of "pulling' and "pushing".
The Important thing is that, it eventually gets where I want it to go.... and this is what playing the course is all about!
Massage table ? what's that ? where do I find it on a golf course ???
Fellow TERBs... I think I started something after making the innocent (OK, maybe it wasn't that innocent) golf suggestions to Anselmo and asking Calloway about his "Callaway" club!
But... you know... I think my golf game is going to improve with all these "tips"!
But with the cold weather coming... I think we are going to have to look at some other sport!? Let's see ... downhill skiing (going down those slopes, hugging the edges....)... or perhaps icefishing (putting my line in the hole, bouncing my jig up and down...)... I do love sports (if that's what they call it)
But... you know... I think my golf game is going to improve with all these "tips"!
But with the cold weather coming... I think we are going to have to look at some other sport!? Let's see ... downhill skiing (going down those slopes, hugging the edges....)... or perhaps icefishing (putting my line in the hole, bouncing my jig up and down...)... I do love sports (if that's what they call it)
