I know this is a touchy subject...but curious on thoughts...

[Ryan1967]

So...I know this is volatile and I am not trying to start anything...the subject is on references...I know many of you say that if a provider asks for references you should move on to the next. Others provide references when asked, I know I have in the past (many many years ago). But more recently I have been sensitized to this subject a little more, mostly from providers. Bottom line, I think I question the ethos of someone saying "I would rather another provider take the risk of seeing this client first", I know that is not what they are actually saying...but that is fundamentally what is going on. I totally respect the need for a screening process and I also of course respect what process a provider chooses to use, but I guess I question whether they should involve other providers in that process.

Lately, when I have been asked the question, I have simply provided my handle on both boards and politely asked the provider to look at whom I have recommended or reviewed and they can reach out themselves. Essentially taking me out of the loop of having to ask another lady to be a reference. That seems fair to me...does anyone disagree with that approach? Curious to know your thoughts. My recos and reviews are in the public domain, so it is very easy to find whom I have seen and it takes me out of having to ask that awkward question to a provider that I have seen (I know most providers are cool when asked...and I am certain that several ladies that I have seen would provide a reference for me...but that is not the point).

I know the guys PM each other here a bunch for similar purposes, to ask privately about a given provider, I imagine the providers do the same (but I could be totally wrong).

I know it will not help any newbies that have no reco/review history, but for established members of the community it seems like a fair way to answer this.

Thanks for your input.

Ryan

 

[GlavaMan]

It is a logical question. I like your idea of having the SP's check out your reviews & then contact the SP you reviewed for a reference. If you have a presence on the boards with reviews/recos, it gives the SP a choice of which other SP to contact for a reference & takes the onus off you the client. My only experience with references was not good. I had an appointment to see a touring SP, whom required a reference. I provided the reference, yet never heard back from the touring SP despite emails leading up to the appointment. I can only assume my reference didn't check out which was strange because I had a good time with the SP I saw & she always PM'ed me in advance of when she would be in Ottawa hoping to see me on her visit. Now, when it comes to references, I move onto the next SP if my handle is not enough & a reference is required.

 

[luv4lust]

as a escort i do check out who i see this is why i only book through pm. the only way i would ask for a reference is if your posting history has been dormant for over a year. if you sent me to ask another provider to get a reference i wouldn't do it, you would have to ask said woman if she would provide one and have her contact me.

 

[LikeRedHeads]

I never give my handle(s). If I have to review the SP I want a real experience not one that is meant to gain her a good review. If the SP knows that you are reviewing ladys she will provide you with a good service even though she sucks most of the time. Then your review is worth shit! I only give a reference to an SP that I really really want to see, otherwise I move on and don't provide references. One example of SP that I will give reference to is the beautiful ELLE, but there are only very few of those in our dear city.

 

[luv4lust]

I never give my handle(s). If I have to review the SP I want a real experience not one that is meant to gain her a good review. If the SP knows that you are reviewing ladys she will provide you with a good service even though she sucks most of the time. Then your review is worth shit! I only give a reference to an SP that I really really want to see, otherwise I move on and don't provide references. One example of SP that I will give reference to is the beautiful ELLE, but there are only very few of those in our dear city.

well i don't give any different service just because i know the handle of who i see ,and i have come to expect no reviews so not an issue with me

 

[luv4lust]

It is a legitimate question and this is my personal view that some may or may not agreeThe facts are that providers take risks in seeing clients, especially in an outcall situation when they don't know what they are walking into. This is not a decriminalized industry yet and a taboo job also, so in most cases they can't even call the police if they are in any way hurt or abused (incalls still illegal and even the legal outcall most may fear a family backlash or a driver they pay or other reasons unable to call police). Not to mention the hygiene and health of the person they are about to meet in a bedroom and get so intimate. Therefore I can fully understand if they wish to check references for their safety and have no issue providing one or more (what do we have to hide anyways?). Lol, I am not even a provider and a man (most likely physically stronger) and I have a strict screening process in place when contacting a BP or unknown SP (I receive them in the privacy of my home) and I am not the one who is walking into an alien territory lol even so how can I say that a provider don't have the right to screen me when she agrees to see someone (me) they have never seen or walks into my home she has never been. After all we check their reviews so that have an equal right to check ours (references), no? That said I always have refused providing full name or photos as I don't believe they are safety related.

You are correct in saying that once you provided your handle they can check your reviews and then contact the SPs that you have seen and I am sure some if not most of those who don't ask for references officially would do just that. But apart from it being a bit time consuming they may feel they don't have your consent to contact those SPs you have seen plus the fact that many of us may not contact them through the boards but rather contacting them via email or text so they may not know we are on any board never mind having a handle or whom we may have seen. As for newbies I am sure most SPs would agree to see them if they say that they are newbie so as for reason not having references. They may be subjected to more screening process though (more questions) to ensure provider's safety. All that said it is a personal choice. If one has serious problems or feel offended to be asked for references by all means it is his right to move to the next SP and so is the SP's right not to see that client.

first i'm sorry for posting in the ottawa section i haven't been in a few years.
since i stopped seeing {newbies} i don't have any no shows.

 

[Catherine St.Claire]

I can see both sides of the coin on this. Most guests don't realize that the verification isn't only about ensuring that we know who we are seeing, it's about developing trust. If you follow thru on the booking procedures we are more inclined to trust that you respect. It is simply another piece of the puzzle in making a girl feel safe. Given the current nonsense going on in Ottawa lately with stalkers and some verifiable clients becoming aggressive, I can understand why the girls that ask for references are standing their ground it here. This is a industry built on trust, it doesn't come easily and there has to be some give on the front end to get some on the back end. Decide what your willing to give, the effort will be rewarded because trusting you makes it easy for the provider to ensure you have a great time with her.

I don't ask for references. I place value on my privacy, I don't like the industry knowing who I see and I respect my guests discretion by being able to keep their rendezvous private. I have several clients on the BD list that are wonderful guests with me so I've learned to make my own decision most of the time. I do understand that traveling SPs have a much more difficult time sorting out the WOT's and references are an effective way to eliminate guys who are game players. Ottawa is full of them, they write lovely emails and verify but don't show up. A touring girl budgets for some NSs but they try to minimize it and references are an effective way to do it. Most providers, myself included, don't have an issue giving a reference and it only takes a moment to set it up so if you want to see her, send the email or make the call...

cat

 

[vitto]

Since i work out of a spa, i always have that sense of security, We have lots of clients that walk inwitouth appts, but we always also have tge chance to refuse.... I book most of my clients on my own and to be honest there have been many more great experiences with meeting amazing gentleman, the odd time i have come to uncomfortable situation, as i try to have as much comunication prior to my encounters, like the gentlemen have expressed in their screening process.., is easy to find out the kind of person, just by a few email exchanges, or txt or a telephone conversation.., if the gentleman happen to be a member of anyboard and he has decided to provide me with his handle, i take time prior to our meeting to read his posts, on different subjects not just recos, to give me a sense of his personality and what would make our encounter better

 

[too2shy]

@vitto.. i gotta say. I'm not sure if you're a big fat italian guy who smokes cigars all day. Munches hero subs, and has sauce stains on his shirt.. OR.. you're a girl with a very interesting choice of user name. =D just saying lol..

I don't give references, I'm a private person. I have no interest in having some circle or random women I've slept with for money being able to exchange information with regards to me. I know a few escorts, gossip is retarded. Even with regards to terb members they've seen. No thanks.

I also don't tell girls my handle because as people have mentioned, the treatment may be different.. but really a guy should.. so he gets good service lol. But I just don't bother again.. so some random girl can't link the RL person to the online persona. World is too small, and ottawa is fucking small.

 

[vitto]

@too2shy... I am a very lovely lady, my name is Victoria, Vitto is short for it... aka PassionVitto... I am a Masseuse and many of your fellows here on this board can tell you about me if you ask around. But this is not the dicussion now ;-)

 

[Ryan1967]

Thanks all for your input on this. For the record...I was in no way, shape or form suggesting that an SP not screen me, or anyone else for that matter, as a prospective client. I think what I am struggling with is the ask from an SP to have another SP pre-screen their clients for them - which is essentially what is happening when a reference is requested.

My real question is (leaving the "service will be improved" to the side) should providing your handles be a reasonable ersatz to providing an actual reference? I realize the SP that is contacted may not have her consent to act as a reference...but they consented to a reco/review being written, so I feel that it would be implied given that.

 

[Ryan1967]

I second that Vitto is gorgeous! Doh...hijacking my own thread!

 

[Gabriella Laurence]

Lately, when I have been asked the question, I have simply provided my handle on both boards and politely asked the provider to look at whom I have recommended or reviewed and they can reach out themselves. Essentially taking me out of the loop of having to ask another lady to be a reference. That seems fair to me...does anyone disagree with that approach?

Ryan, one of the reasons it is best to contact your reference first is to ensure that she is reference friendly and is willing to provide you with a positive reference (some ladies refuse to provide them even if they had a good experience in your company) and to make sure she remembers you; there is no point in "me" contacting her if she has no idea who you are... At the end of the day, it saves us a lot of back and forth if it is done that way.

Also, when a lady asks for a reference, she is not asking you if she can go reference hunting on multiple boards. It is up to you to provide her with the information she requires for a first time rendez-vous. A simple "my reference is XYZ and here is her contact information" will always do the trick.

My recos and reviews are in the public domain, so it is very easy to find whom I have seen and it takes me out of having to ask that awkward question to a provider that I have seen (I know most providers are cool when asked...and I am certain that several ladies that I have seen would provide a reference for me...but that is not the point).

Unfortunately, by me reading the reviews or recommendations you have written about other ladies does not tell me if you are someone who repeatedly cancels at the last minute or is a chronic no-show. It will also not tell me if you are someone with good/bad hygiene or someone who will not push the boundaries and respect the lady’s restrictions or, even worst, if you are the stalker type (I could add to that list but I think you get the picture). Unfortunately, those types of “gentlemen” are out there and most of us want to avoid them and that is why we ask for a simple reference. It is definitely not to ruin your life or to invade your privacy...

I know the guys PM each other here a bunch for similar purposes, to ask privately about a given provider, I imagine the providers do the same (but I could be totally wrong).

Some information is shared amongst the ladies when it has the potential to affect their safety or experience a less than desirable encounter (bad hygiene). We definitely do not go around telling other ladies that we saw "so and so" and had a good time-professional companions understand the need for confidentiality and discretion.

Bottom line, I think I question the ethos of someone saying "I would rather another provider take the risk of seeing this client first", I know that is not what they are actually saying...but that is fundamentally what is going on. I totally respect the need for a screening process and I also of course respect what process a provider chooses to use, but I guess I question whether they should involve other providers in that process.

Asking for references is not about letting others take the risks. It is about getting feedback from another companion who has already seen that gentleman.

Most of us who require references are also "newbie friendly" and will always work with the gentleman in question if he doesn't have a reference(s) and offer other screening methods.

I hope this helps a little.

Gabriella

 

[herelookin (pt2)]

@vitto.. i gotta say. I'm not sure if you're a big fat italian guy who smokes cigars all day. Munches hero subs, and has sauce stains on his shirt.. OR.. you're a girl with a very interesting choice of user name. =D just saying lol..

She is every inch a lady... but I did wonder why ALO had hired an Italian guy for massages till I met her. LOL I even joked to her about it.

I met Vitto a few years ago and have met her many times since and will continue to...

 

[radius]

I never give my handle(s). If I have to review the SP I want a real experience not one that is meant to gain her a good review. If the SP knows that you are reviewing ladys she will provide you with a good service even though she sucks most of the time. Then your review is worth shit!

I fully agree with this post! There are some reviewers whose views I discount heavily because I strongly suspect they are too cozy with the provider side.

Also, I feel like I'm tracked enough by providers and agencies as it is. There's no point in giving them even *more* information.

 

[vitto]

I am sure when an indy SP or MA ass for references and other type of information about a client is for safety reasons.., there is a lot of wako people out there and remember being alone at an appartment or hotel room makes the lady more vulnerable to certain situations... So somehow they need to find a way to feel some sort of comfort and feeling of security... After all when we open the door (and I say we.., as at the spas we encounter walkins, man we have not even exchanged a hello with) you never know who would be walkin through. I am sure if they are reputable ladies you should not be afraid of sharing a bit about yourselve. In terms of providing handles, to be honest, my services is same with boards members or not! Either way I want to make sure when ever you leave my Massage room you are happy and me too, because to make a great session we need to make it work together! Like they say, we need 2 to tango! Lol
At CH, herelookinh and Ryan, thanks for the lovely words! You guys are very sweet!and too2shy...caught u peeking lol
Kisses to all
Vitto

 

[Ryan1967]

Thanks Gabriella, I was hoping to hear from providers on this subject, so I appreciate your input on this, I know there is another rather long thread on this subject on the other board, so I am familiar with your general perspective.

Ryan, one of the reasons it is best to contact your reference first is to ensure that she is reference friendly and is willing to provide you with a positive reference (some ladies refuse to provide them even if they had a good experience in your company) and to make sure she remembers you; there is no point in "me" contacting her if she has no idea who you are... At the end of the day, it saves us a lot of back and forth if it is done that way.

Agree...the SP that I have reviewed/recoed would need to be reference friendly, and I know many are not (for the precise reasons that I mention...they do not want to pre-screen clients for other SP's). As for the time of when the gentleman would have seen them...the recos/reviews are date time stamped...so a reference seeking SP can find a recent one.

Also, when a lady asks for a reference, she is not asking you if she can go reference hunting on multiple boards. It is up to you to provide her with the information she requires for a first time rendez-vous. A simple "my reference is XYZ and here is her contact information" will always do the trick.

Thanks, I do understand the mechanics of providing a reference, and yes, I am suggesting that an SP go hunting. If it were the other way around, and a gentleman asked an SP for a gentleman reference, I suspect she would aswer "read my reviews/recos", I don't think she would give up a client name (obviously would not). But I frequently PM individuals on both boards if they have provided a review/reco...and others ask the same of me as well...I am suggesting something similar. Some gentlemen here ignore my PM's (I supposed they are not SP reference friendly) but most do respond, we are a community after all.

Unfortunately, by me reading the reviews or recommendations you have written about other ladies does not tell me if you are someone who repeatedly cancels at the last minute or is a chronic no-show. It will also not tell me if you are someone with good/bad hygiene or someone who will not push the boundaries and respect the lady’s restrictions or, even worst, if you are the stalker type (I could add to that list but I think you get the picture). Unfortunately, those types of “gentlemen” are out there and most of us want to avoid them and that is why we ask for a simple reference. It is definitely not to ruin your life or to invade your privacy...

Wow...I must have not been clear...I was not at all suggesting that the reference seeking SP read people's reviews...I was suggesting that they look at whom the prospective client has reviewed and reach out to them. I would think they would be able to answer the questions (no show, hygiene, etc).

Some information is shared amongst the ladies when it has the potential to affect their safety or experience a less than desirable encounter (bad hygiene). We definitely do not go around telling other ladies that we saw "so and so" and had a good time-professional companions understand the need for confidentiality and discretion.

I was not suggesting that you talk about clients between SP's, but rather share if a client is a no show, bad hygiene, etc. Perhaps my assumption was incorrect...On the client side, I feel it is more of a community.

Asking for references is not about letting others take the risks. It is about getting feedback from another companion who has already seen that gentleman.

Well...We may need to agree to disagree on this, I see it as the reference seeking provider is asking other providers to pre-screen their clients...not sure how that is not risk deferral.

@Jessica - Thanks hun! I was not really asking about getting a reference for myself...it was the practice that I am questioning and trying to find an alternative such as providing handles. I am happy to allow my online persona and my real persona to be one...I get others are not, but I am cool with it.

 

[Ryan1967]

Is this more of an issue with outcalls than incalls?

Probably happens more time with Outcalls...but I am 100% incalls...and I have been asked several times. In both cases I asked the providers to look up my reviews and reach out to the providers. It was this practice that I was looking for feedback on.

 

[checkingin]

I have been asked to provide a reference and it as no problem on my end. I contacted an SP I had seen previously and asked if I could give her info to the SP who had asked for the reference. This way she had the heads up and I was certain that she was ok with providing a reference. Everything proceeded smoothy, got the reference and had a wonderful encounter. I did suggest to the sp who had asked for the reference that she check my history on this and other boards but that didnt cut it with her, she wanted to contact an SP I had previously seen. I was fine with the procedure, didnt think that much of it.

 

[KathrynBardot]

How we screen is a personal choice. If you don't want to follow a lady's requested manner of screening, then do both of you a favour and find a provider who screens differently. When you book into a hotel, you provide ID and a credit card; if you do not want to do so then you find a different venue. Not a difficult concept. Most providers indicate their preference for references on their websites or ads, so you should already be expecting such a request when making contact. By refusing to do so, or posting these threads trying to rationalize your refusal, that just tells us that you are potentially a difficult client, one who does not want to play by our rules and may try to wiggle around other boundaries.

Just saying, you might want to be aware of the persona you're projecting by doing so.