I have to let this out. I have too much pride to talk to anyone in my civie life.

[Spacealien2]

I'm sick of being alone. No matter what I do, I always succumb to the phobia of letting anyone know how I really feel and what I truly want. I'm pretty sure I can count the number of real dates I have had on my hands. It is extremely difficult for me to ask anyone out even if they seem to show interest. I have never felt loved my entire life. It's kind of a vicious cycle. And I have never felt anyone genuinely attracted to me, probably because I have never learned how to be loved.

The first time that I was with someone I had a crush on was with an MPA. I have seen many girls over the 3 years that I hobbied and was able to connect with two of them. The rest just doesn't do it. And man, it was the happiest moment of my life when I was with those girls. It sucked when they retired. But to this day I regret nothing and at times I still find myself think about one of them and it brings a smile on my face. (As for the other, well, we're on each other's facebook and she turned out to be a batshit crazy pseudo-activist of everything.) I was naive and it was easy to pretend that they actually cared. Now it just doesn't do it for me anymore. I spent thousands of dollars in the last few months on this hobby and I feel that spending the same amount of money at expensive restaurants would actually have been better. Sex with no connection is just so boring to me.

Anyway, this is the story of my life. Thanks for listening, I actually felt better typing all that.

 

[Nickelodeon]

This may sound corny, but get "engaged" in something you like...it might be a book club, a sport, music....anything. Just get involved and break the cycle you're on.

 

[Youngbuc]

So here's how I look at life, they're 7 billion people in the world.. half a women.. that means they're 3.5 billion women... life isn't like highschool, no one's going to make fun of you for asking a beautiful girl out... throw yourself out there.. fail.. do it again ... fail.. you gain more confident by trying and you will succeed sooner or later. The thing is that you control your happiness.. so do something about it.. there are very few guys that as naturally charming.. alot of us like me had to fake it until it got comfortable.. I hate when guys are to scared because they worry what other people think.. be a man.. grow a pair and try... if I told you the amount of times I've been shot down it would be close to the thousands but I can now walk up to aby girl and just start a conversation naturally and not worry about the outcome. Good luck man

 

[jcpro]

This is not a story of your life, just a part you have not mastered, yet. The professional ladies are just a stop gap, if one has an inclination toward a real relationship. A stop gap that becomes a serious obstacle from developing such relationship. This activity is only for people who are cheaters or comfortable in a solitary existence. Any feelings here are an illusion. Stop paying for sex and have a friend or an acquaintance set you up on a date, ASAP(if you can't manage it yourself). There are literally thousands of women in this city that are ripe for picking. All that is required is a bit of neatness and politeness. There're so many assholes out there, I guarantee it, you'll be a breath of fresh air.

 

[Smallcock]

Do you have any reservations about putting up a profile on a dating site? The women that hit you up or respond to you show interest and because it's online instead of face-to-face maybe it would be easier?

I believe it's now one out of every three or four couples that met online. It's the future and there is no longer any stigma attached to it.

 

[highpark]

Wholly fuck. I have the exact opposite problem. Every one always wants to be with me. My wife, my kids, friends at work, strangers tell me their whole life story. I've have several women in the last few years attempt to puck me up. Of course I'd never accept cause it would be more aggravation. When I got to mpa's I keep a super low key and don't attempt any personal Connection.
My problem is I can't get any solitude. I'm never alone.
I crave solitude. And I'll probably never get it.
What a crazy world this is.

 

[MPAsquared]

Hobbying doesn't represent real life... odds, connection, everything is different in hobby-world. Plus, connecting with 2 out of 3 yrs isn't bad odds! What makes you think the rest of the world just walks around connecting with people?! A true real connection is just as rare for all of us.

 

[Yoga Face]

I'm sick of being alone. No matter what I do, I always succumb to the phobia of letting anyone know how I really feel and what I truly want. I'm pretty sure I can count the number of real dates I have had on my hands. It is extremely difficult for me to ask anyone out even if they seem to show interest. I have never felt loved my entire life. It's kind of a vicious cycle. And I have never felt anyone genuinely attracted to me, probably because I have never learned how to be loved.

The first time that I was with someone I had a crush on was with an MPA. I have seen many girls over the 3 years that I hobbied and was able to connect with two of them. The rest just doesn't do it. And man, it was the happiest moment of my life when I was with those girls. It sucked when they retired. But to this day I regret nothing and at times I still find myself think about one of them and it brings a smile on my face. (As for the other, well, we're on each other's facebook and she turned out to be a batshit crazy pseudo-activist of everything.) I was naive and it was easy to pretend that they actually cared. Now it just doesn't do it for me anymore. I spent thousands of dollars in the last few months on this hobby and I feel that spending the same amount of money at expensive restaurants would actually have been better. Sex with no connection is just so boring to me.

Anyway, this is the story of my life. Thanks for listening, I actually felt better typing all that.

This is why SP are doing an important service

If it was totally legal there would be girl friend SPs that you would take out etc that would be trained to help you through your phobia, but, alas, the profession is stereotyped by the Harper-Taliban regime

 

[surferboy]

Sp2 i feel for you bud. A guy who i work with in his early thirties is a similar story. Great guy,decent job,average looks but can't hookup or communicate with the opposite sex! No matter how much i tell him,how hard i try when i've taken him out he always seems to mess it up when i introduce him to a lovely lady. It effin astonishes me sometimes! I think half the problem is every girl he meets he try's too hard & asks the wrong things to qwik. Think he invisions walking down the isle & having a family after the first three mins of meeting them. I'm the opposite i live for the thrill of the chase,as long as i get at least one pretty girls number by the end of the nite i can go home & sleep like a baby. But he did find happiness with a girl he met on Christian Mingle or Eharmony. Sounds like thats something you should give a shot. The stuff here is just instant gratification by way of $$$. So take some of that money & 1, get a gym membership 2, head to Korry's downtown,get yourself some new digs then 3, head over to Mankind get yourself groomed & looking jam. Take some selfies or get a woman friend to make you smile & snap sum pics of you. Put those on the dating sites i mentioned above & report back in a month or two. I wanna here a happy story on here for once! Good luck SB

 

[Buick Mackane]

You won't find a real connection by paying for it, you've been getting a warped view of relationships and sex.

 

[blueadonis]

Spacealien2, thanks for sharing your story. I know what you mean brother

 

[Born2Star]

Spacealien2, thanks for sharing your story. I know what you mean brother

Yep I think the OP's story represents a lot of us, deep down. Been hobbying years now and had my share of everything.

But at the end you come out strong and know that guy in the mirror much better. That's the big plus.

 

[GPIDEAL]

This is the world some of us live in. I am glad someone put this back on the internet.

https://rantsofanincel.wordpress.com/2014/12/20/why-99-of-all-incel-men-will-always-be-incel/

Here is the final tally of almost 6 years of pua:
Amount of money spent on workshops/books/seminars ~$6,000
Amount of money spent on wardrobe ~$4,000
Amount of money spent on dates/club fees/drinks > $30,000
Amount of approaches > 15,000
Amount of wasted time = countless thousands of hours
Amount of girlfriends achieved = 0
Amount of times I have had sex = 5
Number of emails sent via online dating sites > 50,000
Number of dates achieved from online dating < 15
Number of women slept with from online dating = 3
Number of girlfriends achieved via online dating = 0

"I was always told that I am above average in looks, and I am in great physical shape. I have been told from so called master PUA’s that my problem is that I am too intellectual, and come across as a boring nerd.. Some comments made by women back this up as well.. WTF? I am an undesirable because I am smart, work hard, and do not have a criminal record, and my taxes have to pay for these cunts to boot. "


Now, was this just me? I met hundreds of guys in the PUA community during these years, and not a single guy, who was originally unsuccessful ever became successful with women.
[those who are a bit successful get more so as they play the numbers game... me shortening the original]



From my experiences as well as stuff like the above, with some guys there seems to be an anti X factor that just drives the women away. As someone I knew pointed out. Every female he knew thought I was creepy, none of them could actually explain why. You can't fix what even females can't point out. Granted most of those except for one were female Cletuses the slack jawed yokal but still.

You write too much too

 

[GPIDEAL]

I'm sick of being alone. No matter what I do, I always succumb to the phobia of letting anyone know how I really feel and what I truly want. I'm pretty sure I can count the number of real dates I have had on my hands. It is extremely difficult for me to ask anyone out even if they seem to show interest. I have never felt loved my entire life. It's kind of a vicious cycle. And I have never felt anyone genuinely attracted to me, probably because I have never learned how to be loved.

The first time that I was with someone I had a crush on was with an MPA. I have seen many girls over the 3 years that I hobbied and was able to connect with two of them. The rest just doesn't do it. And man, it was the happiest moment of my life when I was with those girls. It sucked when they retired. But to this day I regret nothing and at times I still find myself think about one of them and it brings a smile on my face. (As for the other, well, we're on each other's facebook and she turned out to be a batshit crazy pseudo-activist of everything.) I was naive and it was easy to pretend that they actually cared. Now it just doesn't do it for me anymore. I spent thousands of dollars in the last few months on this hobby and I feel that spending the same amount of money at expensive restaurants would actually have been better. Sex with no connection is just so boring to me.

Anyway, this is the story of my life. Thanks for listening, I actually felt better typing all that.

Spacealien2, if you're looking for a GFE in an MPA, it might be hard to connect with one that you like to see over and over again (although, some of my closest associations, have been with MPAs).

However, if you can afford longer sessions with SPs that offer GFE, and you are sincerely a decent and generous person, who can engage in conversation easily, it might make an otherwise lonely life bearable from time to time.

However, I agree that you should try dating lines or websites as well to increase your odds with respect to meeting a woman that might find you interesting to spend time with.

 

[Titalian]

I'm sick of being alone. No matter what I do, I always succumb to the phobia of letting anyone know how I really feel and what I truly want. I'm pretty sure I can count the number of real dates I have had on my hands. It is extremely difficult for me to ask anyone out even if they seem to show interest. I have never felt loved my entire life. It's kind of a vicious cycle. And I have never felt anyone genuinely attracted to me, probably because I have never learned how to be loved.

The first time that I was with someone I had a crush on was with an MPA. I have seen many girls over the 3 years that I hobbied and was able to connect with two of them. The rest just doesn't do it. And man, it was the happiest moment of my life when I was with those girls. It sucked when they retired. But to this day I regret nothing and at times I still find myself think about one of them and it brings a smile on my face. (As for the other, well, we're on each other's facebook and she turned out to be a batshit crazy pseudo-activist of everything.) I was naive and it was easy to pretend that they actually cared. Now it just doesn't do it for me anymore. I spent thousands of dollars in the last few months on this hobby and I feel that spending the same amount of money at expensive restaurants would actually have been better. Sex with no connection is just so boring to me.

Anyway, this is the story of my life. Thanks for listening, I actually felt better typing all that.

I don't want to sound brutally honest. But I suggest you start loving yourself first and foremost.

 

[diana <3]

If it was totally legal there would be girl friend SPs that you would take out etc that would be trained to help you through your phobia, but, alas, the profession is stereotyped by the Harper-Taliban regime

If it was legal, that would be my dream job. I've met so many people with such... complications and insecurities around how they deal with sex. It might be like sp2, where lack of confidence and experience becomes a self perpetuating cycle, or someone who cant leave abusive relationships, or any of a hundred other hangups and issues.
I know my boyfriend would probably be in almost the exact same position if we had not gotten together... when we met he was a nervous virgin, who couldn't approach or talk to a girl with confidence and who was pining after abother girl who he'd gone on one date with a year or more before we met. It's hard to overcome that self-doubt, and even though we've been together for years now, he still sometimes worries that he doesn't understand why I'm with him.

I definitely have to agree with the poster about loving your self... confidence is the most important thing when dealing with someone you want to be intimate with, and if you can't believe that someone could love you and care for your happiness, then you'll cause a lot of grief to anyone who does- there are few things more hurtful than someone you care about who is dismissive of those feelings.

It is even more complicated in this realm, because for a provider to maintain that empathy, to be able to greet everyone with a smile and offer genuine intimacy and truly care about a clients happiness is incredibly hard. A girl has to start with a huge amount of emotional maturity, and then from day one work to minimize and avoid the things that happen all the time, big things and little things, that jade her and force her to retreat from that ability to be intimate and in the moment with a client.
And almost always she can't, and her clients end up feeling the same way, and everything slowly become jaded and meaningless as sp2 describes. That's why the ladies who do keep that attitude are such treasures.

Not that intimacy is exactly what everyone wants, it's sometimes much, much simpler than that. But for those who want it, and those who want to provide it, there is a minefield out there.

Man, this post is pretty huge and wordy, even for me. But this thread just touched on something that's been on my mind recently, sort of from the other side.

 

[frankcastle]

I don't want to sound brutally honest. But I suggest you start loving yourself first and foremost.

I agree. If you dont think you have anything to offer how do you expect a stranger to see it?

With dating and personal interests set tiny goals. Ones so small that you can't help but complete. Then over time increase those goals.

Internet dating might be a good thing for you to try. At least you know the person you are approaching is looking for a date.

Speed dating if it still exists is a great way to work on yiur small talk skills. Maybe nothing comes out of the evening but it is no more expensive than a cheap dinner.

Continue to hobby but realize normal girls won't treat or act like professionals. So if tou think your future girlfriend is going to offer oil or lotion and slither all over you like axl rose on ecstasy forget about it.

Take some of that hobby money and spend it on classes that interest you or gear for a hobby that you would not normall pursue due to the cost. Spend time with friends. Get out and do stuff. I read that some of the happiest people are those that spend money on experiences instead of material things. Test out thst theory!

 

[Hurricane Hank]

Pretty sure he did the online dating thing a couple of years ago.

I can't offer a solution, but the suggestion of doing something social, with a group, sounds like a place to start.

 

[DigitallyYours]

If it was legal, that would be my dream job.

It's not illegal to be a dating coach. I'm pretty sure legitimate sex surrogacy hasn't been made illegal either.

 

[Titalian]

Your initial encounter with a new provider will score big points, IF you make her feel comfortable with you.