Humbled as a Hobbyist

[t8rs]

Just within this past month, I had appointments set up with 2 different SP's (on 2 different occasions). All that was left was to confirm a time on the day of. Well, in both cases I was waiting for them to get back to me and the time was well past when we were supposed to meet. Calls to them were not answered and all I could do was hope they were okay. Well, I discovered they merely fell asleep and apologized the next day. On a third occasion with yet another SP, I tried to schedule an appointment. I called her up and she said she'd call me right back. No call from her but I know that she was swamped with other commitments and would have gone a bit out of her way to see me. These were all SP's whom I've seen before.

I'm left to wonder if it was a matter of them not needing the money that badly and/or they just didn't think that much of me or if they are just simply unreliable. While I know these are not much more than business transactions and I shouldn't take it personally, it does sting a little. I mean, it's bad enough being treated like this by women outside of the hobby and this is one of the reasons I do hobby. This may be enough to retire but I wouldn't fool anyone by saying that I would (and if I did, I promise to spare everyone a retirement announcement). Maybe it's just a sign to step away for awhile.

Okay, just needed to get that off my chest but if anyone wants to post a comment, feel free to do so.

 

[stinkynuts]

I understand you feel rejected, and that it hurts, but try not to take it personally.

On a related topic, I have been rejected by women in so many ways, it's not funny. For example, in the past couple of weeks THREE different female penpals have stopped writing to me. One of them asked for a photo of me. As soon as I sent it, she stopped writing. ouch.

But when you are willing to pay to see an sp, and she still rejects you, that's gotta hurt. I would stop seeing those sp's and find some who are more reliable. Just my .02.

 

[WhaWhaWha]

If you book them and they don't show or call, then they should be reviewed as bad dates. Feel free to provide professional name, telephone, other contact info that they advertise publicly so others won't waste their time. Take comfort in the fact that you didn't waste money too.

Then move on. There are so many reliable SPs out there its a shame to waste time on the no-shows.

 

[rama putri]

Where's that thread about how SPs really feel about TERBites?

 

[y2kmark]

Humbled as a Hobbiest?

First of all, a little humility, or at leat a reality check, never hurt anyone. SPs are like anyone else in having their own lives, sometimes more-so. I can't remember hearing much in the way of praises for the reliability of wives or girlfriends either, though. It ain't Fedex and there are no guarantees. If you really like being with the lady then learn to make allowances. Never, ever, ever take it personally!

 

[corena]

Sure it sucks, but for every time this kind of thing happens to a hobbiest, it happens many more times to the SP's.

Top that off with someone (obsessed client or pissed off wife or unfortunately another SP) getting pissy at some SP and booking them with 12 names and that ends the SP up with 2 weeks full of no-shows. OK this is extreme, but it's not unheard of among the ladies of this biz.

Your case sounds to me like pure bad luck. Appreciate the money you saved and try, try again...

 

[red]

don't be humbled or take it personally. it has nothing to do with you. it does happen now and again. if you feel the need to step back from the hobby - try it for a month and either come back with enthusiasm or try another way.

 

[Questor]

try going with a more reliable agency. It sounds like you have been going with independents. Some independents are very unreliable and could not even stay on with an agency due to being so unreliable.

 

[t8rs]

Here's a bit of background on these ladies which might indicate this may be more than just a coincidence. I met them all initially when they were with an agency. All are early 20's. (An aside, no need to disclose who they are since these are special arrangements.)

Yes, the sensible thing to do would just be to cut ties with them but when are we ever known to listen to the big head? LOL
So my dilemma boils down to this:
Cons
- There really is only one, but it is a big one, that being unreliabilty. (Putting aside the personal aspect of it.)

Pros
- Rates are less than with an agency (you'd think that gives them more incentive since they make more this way)
- Well-known, well-reviewed, easily top-ten of all SP's I've seen that are still available to me

And I have in fact taken comfort in the fact I saved a fair bit of coin.

 

[buckloner]

Sounds like...

you had a pretty sweet deal going. I can understand you are thinking the ride may be over, and it may in fact be. Thank your lucky stars you had it for a while and move on...don't invest too much in it, could be a fignewton of your imagination.

 

[markvee]

It ain't Fedex and there are no guarantees.

And from Fedex, one gets reliable service?

AAAAAHHH!

I hate all private couriers.

I hate calling them and waiting on hold and being told that I have to go out to the middle of nowhere to wait in line for my package.

Fedex, Purolator, UPS, ... Their commericials make me want to vomit.

... I feel better now.

 

[C Dick]

I really liked a provider, and it drove me nuts when she was not there when she was scheduled, that I would have an appointment and she would be running way behind, etc. I figured that she did not like me, and I would just move on. But instead I just stuck it out until I could see her, then explained to her that I really liked her and was frustrated. She responded by saying sorry and giving me her cell number. Ten years later we see a great deal of each other, she really does like me, and she is just as much of a flake as she ever was.

So my advice is to stick with the one(s) you like, explain your frustration, and try and find out whether they want you as a customer or not. Either way, you are better off to know what you are dealing with.

 

[Coach]

I think it is inexcusable that any SP would treat potential clients this way. Let's face it, this is a business, and we are payng for a service. I understand the nature of the business, but if an SP treated someone this way their name and info should be posted. Would you accept this type of treatment from anyother type of business? I doubt it. Too many consumers accept less than quality service, and any SP who conducts business this way should have their name published. If they don't want to accept a client for any reason, simply say so up front, don't stand a client up. If you give your word, live up to it. If an SP does this to me, I will not go back. No excuse accepted. Business is business.

 

[t8rs]

So my advice is to stick with the one(s) you like, explain your frustration, and try and find out whether they want you as a customer or not. Either way, you are better off to know what you are dealing with.

That sounds reasonable, particularly with the one that didn't fall asleep on me. She was getting ready to go on vacation so I can forgive her for not calling me back. I was just starting to really get to know her and there are signs she could become my ATF.

I think it is inexcusable that any SP would treat potential clients this way. Let's face it, this is a business, and we are payng for a service. I understand the nature of the business, but if an SP treated someone this way their name and info should be posted. Would you accept this type of treatment from anyother type of business? I doubt it. Too many consumers accept less than quality service, and any SP who conducts business this way should have their name published. If they don't want to accept a client for any reason, simply say so up front, don't stand a client up. If you give your word, live up to it. If an SP does this to me, I will not go back. No excuse accepted. Business is business.

That is true, but in this case the service (or product, as the reliability can be construed as part of the service) itself is exemplary. It's obtaining it that is the problem. I suppose it's a matter of what you're willing to put up with to get your hands on said goods.

 

[corena]

I think it is inexcusable that any SP would treat potential clients this way. Let's face it, this is a business, and we are payng for a service. I understand the nature of the business, but if an SP treated someone this way their name and info should be posted. Would you accept this type of treatment from anyother type of business? I doubt it. Too many consumers accept less than quality service, and any SP who conducts business this way should have their name published. If they don't want to accept a client for any reason, simply say so up front, don't stand a client up. If you give your word, live up to it. If an SP does this to me, I will not go back. No excuse accepted. Business is business.

I don't think any SP "stood him up"

Do you have any idea how many day of appointment confirmations never happen?

From good upstanding members of TERB? Relax boys...I am not naming names. I am just saying that Coach here has a sucky attitute, and it seems he is equivilating an SP to a McDonald's cashier. Trust me, SP's have to put up with WAY more shit than most typical employees, There is a good reason they get so much more per hour than minimum wage. How many McDonald's employees put themselves in the perfect position to get raped knowing full well that if they do, it's not likely many will beleive it, because they get paid for it? And half of those who DO beleive her will tell her it is a job hazzard.


"If you give your word, live up to it" There was no time set from what I've read, so were the ladies in question to sit around all day saying no to everyone who calls because T8rs said he wanted to see her at some point that day? I should think not. If you want an SP to think you are serious if you are booking in advance, do it fully. time date and location. all in advance. I had at least 10/week "partial booking" that went no-where for the most part. Yes there were a few who actually followed through, but those who booked fully in advance ALWAYS followed through, or had a damn good reason and a nice long apology when then didn't.

 

[t8rs]

Just to clarify, Corena, in one of the cases I was the one waiting for her to call me back when she was ready to see me. I was in contact with her throughout the day trying to confirm a time to accommodate her schedule. I ended up waiting all evening and even tried calling her to no avail.

In the other instance, I gave her an approximate time with a half-hour window that I would call her to confirm, which I held to. She agreed, saying she would arrange for a driver. When I did call (twice) she didn't pick up because she was sleeping.