How you manage your porn, sex or whacking fix?

[justarookie]

Was wondering if any of you guys can really manage their need for porn, whacking or sex in serious moderation without allowing it to affecting everything around them (work performance, career goals, relationships with friends / family / people, the ability to enjoy and do other things in life generally speaking)?

LIke when I say moderation, can you like go without porn, whacking off, or sex for like a month, two months, 6 months or even a year. Then when the chance comes, just do it once again and go off for like 6 months?

For the last 5 years, I've only managed to go off porn/whacking at most a bit over 1 month and 2-3 weeks a few times, the last time being like very recent. Usually after I crumble to my carvings after a lay-off like that, it's almost like I got shot-up my drugs and then going on a once a day binge, roughing up my weiner.

I also notice it's usually during these times, i'm even more anxious than before, that my relationships with family, friends just goes bad and chinese girls with their sensitive 'creepy guy' radars ringing at an all time how (ok ok, a bit extragerated there). And my work performance goes down and my mind's just a fried scatterbrain.

I'm going re-literate the fact that porn, whacking, sex is awesome as is HOT chicks raising the ever humid temperatures of TO (this also goes to the females terbites reading this particularly the one i've seen, u know who you are).

But yeah, this stuff's like affecting me way too much negatively and I'm wondering how you guys manage?

 

[a 1 player]

Was wondering if any of you guys can really manage their need for porn, whacking or sex in serious moderation without allowing it to affecting everything around them (work performance, career goals, relationships with friends / family / people, the ability to enjoy and do other things in life generally speaking)?

I have never thought abaout managing it.

LIke when I say moderation, can you like go without porn, whacking off, or sex for like a month, two months, 6 months or even a year. Then when the chance comes, just do it once again and go off for like 6 months?

I have never tried to quit whacking off. Sometimes I go a couple of days without (unintentionally), but I become quite a prick rather fast when I am sexually frustrated.

For the last 5 years, I've only managed to go off porn/whacking at most a bit over 1 month and 2-3 weeks a few times, the last time being like very recent. Usually after I crumble to my carvings after a lay-off like that, it's almost like I got shot-up my drugs and then going on a once a day binge, roughing up my weiner.

Dude, if you can go for more than a couple of days you have a much stronger will power than I. Why would you want to go so long?

I also notice it's usually during these times, i'm even more anxious than before, that my relationships with family, friends just goes bad and chinese girls with their sensitive 'creepy guy' radars ringing at an all time how (ok ok, a bit extragerated there). And my work performance goes down and my mind's just a fried scatterbrain.

And this is exactly the reason men whack off regularly.

I'm going re-literate the fact that porn, whacking, sex is awesome as is HOT chicks raising the ever humid temperatures of TO (this also goes to the females terbites reading this particularly the one i've seen, u know who you are).

I agree, there are some really awsome women on this board.

But yeah, this stuff's like affecting me way too much negatively and I'm wondering how you guys manage?

I think there are more neagtives from not whacking off than there are from doing it. Actually, I can't think of ANY negatives from pulling the trowser snake.

 

[SunocoOil]

Purely an addiction man

Most importantly..It affects your bankroll. and in this country..where cash is King...that in turn affects everything.


If your just a rookie...like your name implies...GET OUT NOW.....THE ADDICTION only grows.

At most...stick to porn watching on www.YOUPORN.com
and wanking...Cause otherwise..your whole life will be messed up.

And if your still here in 10 years...which you will be if the addiction takes hold...remember...SunocoOil did tell you to stop

 

[justarookie]

A rookie to the massage, strip, escort scene? Yes!
But i've been pretty hooked onto porn for 5 years now, although i've been viewing it a bit here and there during high school.

I'm currently a pretty big porn addict (by my accounts) and that could escalate to sex addict.

You know what, I wish I could get out of this at the moment or even better, achieve a very strong sense of moderation on this. Maybe if i'm sober in a few years, then if at the very least I still have a passing interest on these stuff, maybe I'll be better equipped (emotionally, maturity wise, financially, and career wise) to handle this stuff.

But it seems like I'm caught up in this shit. And usually when i'm in this mess, it feels like drugs is messing me up like a shit hole.

 

[YellowDog]

I wack as often as I can, I think it is unhealthy not to.
I do have to control my porn use because I love it. I limit my spending on it to $25 a month. Need the extra money for the hobbying.

 

[CocktailWiener]

LIke when I say moderation, can you like go without porn, whacking off, or sex for like a month, two months, 6 months or even a year. Then when the chance comes, just do it once again and go off for like 6 months?

You make it sounds like you are trying to quite smoking. I also sense that you may also be associating sex with guilt. Sex is a perfectly natural thing to do just like eating, drinking, exercising etc. Mind you there are people that got addicted to any of those.

I would suggest that you try doing the porn and whack thing on a once a week schedule. Set aside a time, say one hour per week. Make sure you choose a time that woudldn't interfere with other parts of your life. See how that goes. If you are still anxious, try twice a week. I bet if you try that for a few weeks, you will be able to think better and be able to manage better.

 

[justarookie]

i tried that already with a, buy some minutes then grab porn on an allocated schedule (once a week or longer).

I just think I"m hooked onto porn right now just the way a druggie or smokie would be so that's why I'm stay off for a really extended period like 6 months so hopefully any psychological or chemical dependencies really wear off.

Maybe after that, then I might be able to go back ocassionally on a once a while without feeling the constant need to.

 

[frankcastle]

I wouldn't be surprised if a lot of guys including myself were not hooked on getting off.

Find a balance between masturbation, porn, dating and other hobbies (of the non terb variety). You'll probably feel better about yourself if you are honestly giving dating a chance and pursuing hobbies or personal interests.

I think the problem with too much porn is that you may find that you can't get off without it and that is a difficult problem. Also, porn might warp your sense of sex and relationships.

Too much masturbation can become a problem if that becomes the only way you can get off.

As for porn, masturbation, SCs, SCs and MPAs it's easy to get lost in it and forget about dating.

These days my only vice is terb.... oh and the occasional smoke (once a week max).

I dunno I guess your story strike a chord with me because I went through the masturbation which led to porn which let to SCs which led to MPAs which led to SPs and looking back many year later and many dollar later I regret some of that wasted time and money.

I suppose for me what worked was directing my energy on things that I could be proud of and share with others..... and you don't even have to be successful at these other pursuits for me the effort was what was meaningful to me knowing that I could easily be wasting time on less healthy pursuits.

 

[torontochris]

help for pornography addicts

i tried that already with a, buy some minutes then grab porn on an allocated schedule (once a week or longer).

I just think I"m hooked onto porn right now just the way a druggie or smokie would be so that's why I'm stay off for a really extended period like 6 months so hopefully any psychological or chemical dependencies really wear off.

Maybe after that, then I might be able to go back ocassionally on a once a while without feeling the constant need to.

http://www.truthminers.com/truth/help_for_porn_addicts.htm

 

[torontochris]

more info from stanford

http://cse.stanford.edu/class/cs201/projects-00-01/pornography/addiction.htm

 

[johnhenrygalt]

If you want to stop, first stop logging on to escort sites.

Then try this site for some help. http://www.no-porn.com/

Then see a psychologist who has had success in treating addictions.

 

[LoveThemGirls]

I know for a fact that I have a pornography addiction. Are there any sites out there to help deal with it that don't involve religion or God? I am an atheist and all of these sites always mention "getting closer to God" etc.

 

[johnhenrygalt]

The no-porn site I listed above is not religious, but unfortunately many of the members who post on its message board are religious types. This is to be expected for a number of reasons:

1. Most English-language websites are dominated by USA posters, who tend to be more religious.

2. Most people don't see any problems with porn and whacking off in general unless they are feeling guilty about "sinning". While addiction is a real problem (I know from experience), I have no desire to become a monk. I hope I never lose the pleasure of admiring beautiful sexy nude women. Religious guys on the other hand who fear the damnation of eternal hell work themselves into an apoplectic frenzy when they realize they are drawn to looking at attractive women; they are fighting not to control urges but to overcome human nature.

3. Many guys have a knee jerk reaction to turn to "god" when down in the dumps, and believe me, porn addiction can put you down in the dumps - I have lost money and career opportunities as well as almost fucked up a couple of relationships over porn addiction.

4. Many of these porn addiction sites take a sort of 12-step approach, which if it doesn't rely on "god", relies on a "higher power" - they teach you the bullshit that you are powerless to deal with this yourself. Then they teach you the bullshit that abstinence is the only cure.

If my experience is at all useful to you, I can tell you I was an addict and am no longer. I still have an external hard drive full of porn which I enjoy from time to time - I am not obsessed over it. I collect and download new porn from time to time - again I am no longer obsessed over it. I can go weeks without it, and then have a look again. I can go for a stroll at lunch admiring all the cute girls, fantasizing about fucking them, and then get back to work and be productive (before I couldn't work because I'd be thinking about the girls I saw).

Curiously, by kicking the porn habit, my productivity on the job has greatly increased, driving up my income - which has allowed me to enjoy the sex "hobby" a little more.

 

[LoveThemGirls]

Thanks JHG for the useful information. I think it would be helpful to share some of my issues:

1. I have not had a "real" relationship in about 10 years. I am far from unattractive (I am always getting told how surprisingly cute I am by women I come across in all aspects of my life, work, friends, SP's, MP's, etc.) and am quite intelligent and not overly shy, very fit (yoga 3x/week), etc.

2. I have a real trouble with intimacy, I am alway open at first but always without fail wind up shutting down when things start to get more "serious" (I am estimating at least 10 relationships in the past 10 years that I have sabotaged, whether intentionally or not).

3. (Not)coincidentally 10 years ago is when I got my first computer and started viewing internet pornography. I now have hundreds of full length movies burned to DVD and approx 250 GB of porn on my hard drive. I compulsively download videos daily and waste about 1-2 hours per day doing so.

4. I am sure that this addiction is affecting my ability to find a healthy fulfilling relationship, which I really do want. And despite all the talk about masturbation being normal and healthy, it is not when you do it a couple of times per day compulsively. It throws off the level of hormones and seratonin in your body, causing depression-like symptoms, and also causes fatigue. On the few occasions that I've been able to abstain for a few days, I feel more alert, back and neck pain starts to dissipate, etc.

So with that being said, I don't feel guilty or driven by some religious purpose to curtail the pornography addiction. I just want a healthy balance in all aspects of my life, and be able to stop sabotaging intimacy and happiness.

How did you manage to control the "pull" of porn when it's so accessible and free? How much time did you spend on porn per day?

 

[CapitalGuy]

Get rid of your home computer. Seriously. Mankind survived thousands of years without it - you don't NEED a computer at home. Give it away, throw it out, whatever. You will then get out of the house more, meet actual people face to face, read, who knows. But you have to remove the temptation. Good luck.

 

[LoveThemGirls]

Wish I could but I work in I.T., I need it.

 

[blopar]

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.20070712.wxlgenex12/BNStory/Fr

 

[justarookie]

Thanks for all the feedback here. First of, to the one who says he watches like 1-2 hours a day, that's a lot of time there considering you probably work 8 hours a day at least, then travel a bit, so that's a lot of time.

HOnestly, I do think you have a bigger problem than I do because you don't even recognize that it's affecting you. Neck problems, cramps, not feeling intimacy, maybe it's cuz you programmed to watch porn and that affects you.

Nehow, I guess some people from a religious background are able to overcome it but I'm not sure if all them recognize that porn addiction works like a crack cocaine. SO that's how I'm handling things. Anyhow, for those who want to talk more about it, feel free to add me at stocksaregay@hotmail.com . I check that once every while.

Today, I was working, and I notice I was so tired (from a bit less than 6 hours of sleep). Usually i would be ok but because I whack 2x the day before, I was really drained today. Oh yeah, I notice I was less aware of what's going on at work. Plus, i'm usually more self-centered and less able to be there for parents, siblings and other people when I'm in this 'I just whack-off mode'

Well, I also did notice an urge to whack off again. Fortunately, for my crappy life, i did go out a bit so that help a bit. Let's hope things get better for me.

 

[justarookie]

it still affects u

think of that as your body's cope with that rush of adrenaline each day but it screw u over (work productivity, how attentive you are to ppl and such)

 

[zekestone]

Wish I could but I work in I.T., I need it.

Geek Squad?