How/who moves it to dating.... sp/client relationship....

[cute-bald]

.... a correlary to another thread. Does sp just say .... don't pay anymore??? What is the usual average lenghth of time before this may ever happen??? I met a 24 yr. old on P.O.F. Before we met she asked & also said she has 1 guy for 1 year that gives her 200 for getting together for 2 hrs sex & then go out & do something .... bowl, mini golf, movie ... & dinner. She would not be intereted in dating him. We met 2 x for 7 hrs each time .. sex 2 hrs ..... liesure activity..... dinner... gave 200. I expressed, 6 ways to Sunday, that interested in being on a more personal ... dating type level. She seemed to be agreeing .... sort of ... BUT ... never said .. don't give money. She said she doesn't see me like other guy & I am not a client. BUT aslong as I am giving 200 to help her out; I am a client!! I could be daring & play like I thought we are dating & don't give money. Soooo how does & who moves it to personal dating???

 

[cc12rye]

Dude, This may sound cynical and it is certainly not the general case with SP's.

But in this particular case, with the specific info you have given, I would guess the most likely motivation for her saying don't pay anymore is that she's decided a longer investment of her time is worthwhile to get half. It may be a subconscious decision starting from, I can live comfortably with him. Then things go a bit sour and you end up with a common-law divorce.

 

[DATYdude]

There's no such thing as a common-law divorce.

And there's no formula for any of this. I have been lucky to have connected deeply and personally with a woman in the industry but it's very complicated for many reasons. If both people are open and honest it can work, but of course "work" can also mean a relationship that is mainly platonic. The point is once it's unworkable and not fun, change it or leave it.

I can say unequivocally that paying for it is the most uncomplicated situation.

 

[cc12rye]

Maybe I should have wrote it as, "talking to a lawyer about division of property and spousal support after a common-law separation."

 

[cute-bald]

For this situationpaying has made it VERY.....

complicated. I want dating..... so even this tiny bit of money is tainting it........ so far as it is I am just a client...... don't matter if I gave 20 everytime or 2000 ..... it is all the same.... a client. AND YES .... In a common law ... even if you both put money into a large investment .... such as a house ..... the one on the deed is entitled to all the asset & to fight is very hard even with a paper trail of money. ONLY in a legal marriage there is splitting of assets AND a large asset owned by 1 of the parties that was aquired sometime before marriege is deemed " pre-marital asset" & most cases not part of the asset sharing. A pre-nup easily purtects pre-marital assets further by clarifying which ones are such (eg. your expensive car, boat,, investment( rrsp) portfolio etc aquired soon before marriage).

 

[cute-bald]

Hey, Nip I really apreachiate your thoughtful imput

You are on the same page as me.... help her out as any friend " occasionally" would & thus change the cheracteristic of the relationship. She is a waitress & has 1 guy for a year that is friend/client . We both will spend about 7 hrs for 200... total.... NOT hourly. Sooo she is VERY much a non-pro. BUT she has not mentioned paying 200 occasionally .... so as far as I see I am a client. She says she would not change anything with the other guy nor date him. ALSO tells me she has a personal "fuck buddy" she sees 1x a month or so for a little over a year. She also has a "girlfriend" . She admitts she has a high sex drive.

 

[fuji]

As long as you are paying you cannot trust anything she says, as she could simply be selling you a fantasy. If you are comfortable with buying a fantasy that sounds like a great deal, though.

 

[alexmst]

If you think she is hot, $200 for 2 hours of sex + 5 hours of hanging out doing stuff afterwards is the SP deal of the century.

I understand your point about even if you pay $20 you're still a client, and you want to be a date and not a client. I was dating an SP once while in the transition of also paying for sessions. Eventually I just said "If we're dating, I'm uncomfortable paying for sex, so I'll stop doing that". She agreed, so the dating kept going and the payments stopped. However, if you're not paying you can't call the shots of "Let's get togetherr for sex and an outing next Saturday" kind of thing. You will get sex when and if she feels in the mood just like with any other civilian relationship. If sex when you want it is important to you, keep paying the $200 as for 7 hrs of time it, as I said, is the deal of the century.

 

[alexmst]

If you think she is hot, $200 for 2 hours of sex + 5 hours of hanging out doing stuff afterwards is the SP deal of the century.

I understand your point about even if you pay $20 you're still a client, and you want to be a date and not a client. I was dating an SP once while in the transition of also paying for sessions. Eventually I just said "If we're dating, I'm uncomfortable paying for sex, so I'll stop doing that". She agreed, so the dating kept going and the payments stopped. However, if you're not paying you can't call the shots of "Let's get togetherr for sex and an outing next Saturday" kind of thing. You will get sex when and if she feels in the mood just like with any other civilian relationship. If sex when you want it is important to you, keep paying the $200 as for 7 hrs of time it, as I said, is the deal of the century.

Also, if you say you're going to stop paying you have to be prepared for the possibility that she will stop seeing you and move on to someone who will pay the $200. Another reason to keep paying the $200 unless she declines it.

 

[cute-bald]

The big issue here........

we met just 2 x like this. There is no official declaration of dating...... so it is a very grey area .Sooo perhaps too soon to declare no payment as of yet????? She has 1 guy that she has this arrangement for 1 year now. Not at all interested in dating him....yet good friends & sexually ... HOT.... he is 34 ... tall Spanish body builder. Sees her 1x a week most times on Sat.

 

[Don]

She said she doesn't see me like other guy & I am not a client. BUT aslong as I am giving 200 to help her out; I am a client!! I could be daring & play like I thought we are dating & don't give money. Soooo how does & who moves it to personal dating???

Good to see that you realize that you are still a client. And as long as you keep paying, you are a client and she sees you as one no matter what she says.

I've developed some very close personal relationships with some SPs over the years. And we will get together to spend some time to catch up and stuff or hang out with no money exchanged. When that happens, I think of it as meeting up with a friend. But I'll also spend a more intimate evening with her where it will be a night out and then come back to my place for some wild sex... but with money exchanged. When that happens, I don't see it as a date with a girlfriend. I see it for what it is - a service that I paid for.

If you want to move it to a personal level, you have to stop paying for it. Period.

 

[cute-bald]

YES !! I agree Don.... BUT....

should this be right away???? Will she just get an uneasy feeling that I am using her & pretending to want a more personal level just to get free tail. ......... OR wait a bit for her to get to know me more & feel comfortable with my intentions. After all she could also think .... how could I declare I want a more personal level without even knowing her ...... ya' know ,like maybe 4-6 more times to get fuller aquanited. Remember ... each time we hang for aprox. 7 hrs. After 4-6 more time I can evaluate her & if I still feel the same way .... it could be considered more genuine. THOUGHTS, thanks.

 

[herames]

what happens if you said you starting date someone seriously...wonder what she would say....is she emotional available!?
its a double edged sword of emotions...what does OP have invested beside open wallet?...your mind and heart in some capacity !?...careful what you wishful too...and what you offer...cause some are easy at taking than giving...
side note....i love when sp's and MPA make me think...one wise lady asked "would i stop visiting her if i was in a relationship"...i honestly would ...just no such fortune

 

[cute-bald]

The BIG question is timing....

... in my previous message I was asking when best ????

 

[genintoronto]

I think this thread wins the award for abuse of "...".

 

[Don]

should this be right away???? Will she just get an uneasy feeling that I am using her & pretending to want a more personal level just to get free tail. ......... OR wait a bit for her to get to know me more & feel comfortable with my intentions. After all she could also think .... how could I declare I want a more personal level without even knowing her ...... ya' know ,like maybe 4-6 more times to get fuller aquanited. Remember ... each time we hang for aprox. 7 hrs. After 4-6 more time I can evaluate her & if I still feel the same way .... it could be considered more genuine. THOUGHTS, thanks.

If you are sure you want a legit relationship, I'd quit the sex for awhile. Tell her that you can't do the "pay to play" anymore because you are developing real feelings for her. But see if she is willing to hang out without the physical stuff (so she can't accuse you of looking for "free tail") without pay, basically like a real date. If she is not interested in hanging out with you at all if she doesn't get some pay out of it then chances are that there is nothing there.

 

[herames]

I think this thread wins the award for abuse of "...".

yah....my fault for reading too many comic books and graphic novels..left and impression ..hehe

 

[rama putri]

Is it me or do some of you guys look at relationships via accounting and specifications?

 

[Twinklegirl]

Why not just ask her what she expects from the "relationship" and put it on the table up front? If she expects the $200/date, then you know and you can proceed how you want to from there.

 

[ExGFE]

I have dated many of my clients and the way I got around this was actually pretty clever. Whatever the agreed amount ends up being, instead of handing over cash everytime, have the the money that you need given where the guy can monitor or at least see where it goes. For example, have him either added or not to your bill payments, like have him pay off your cable/cell/hydro bill for you. This usually requires him to know your real name and address, but that also gives the guy more trust and assurance you are't running with his money. Also you would be living with no bills. Even if it is material thins you want, have him get them before hand or shop together. All this does fog the client/friend relationhip, because it is prostitution after all. But i guess whatever floats your boat. Bottom line try not to have him hand you cash. everyhing being paid for is good, and extra cash...well that is why you are working right? Hope this helps, if you want more tips just PM me. Good luck girl.