Take off clothes while sitting on bed and leave them in a pile. Walk naked to bathroom. If seen by wife/gf, shake willy at her and shout "Wa-hey!" Look in mirror and suck in gut to see manly physique. Admire size of willy in mirror and scratch balls.
Get in shower. Don't bother to look for washcloth - don't need one. Wash face. Wash armpits. Laugh at how loud farts sound in the shower. Wash balls and surrounding area. Wash ass, leaving hair on the soap. Shampoo hair but do not use conditioner. Make Mohican hairstyle with shampoo. Pull back curtain to see self in mirror. Piss in shower.
Rinse off and get out of shower. Fail to notice water on floor caused by shower curtain being outside bathtub for entire showering time. Partially dry off. Look at self in mirror, flex muscles and admire size of willy again.
Leave shower curtain open and wet bathmat on floor. Leave on bathroom light and fan. Return to bedroom with towel around waist, leaving wet footprints on carpets. If you pass wife/gf, pull off towel, grab willy, go "Yeah, baby" and thrust pelvis at her. Put on yesterday's clothes.
Get in shower. Don't bother to look for washcloth - don't need one. Wash face. Wash armpits. Laugh at how loud farts sound in the shower. Wash balls and surrounding area. Wash ass, leaving hair on the soap. Shampoo hair but do not use conditioner. Make Mohican hairstyle with shampoo. Pull back curtain to see self in mirror. Piss in shower.
Rinse off and get out of shower. Fail to notice water on floor caused by shower curtain being outside bathtub for entire showering time. Partially dry off. Look at self in mirror, flex muscles and admire size of willy again.
Leave shower curtain open and wet bathmat on floor. Leave on bathroom light and fan. Return to bedroom with towel around waist, leaving wet footprints on carpets. If you pass wife/gf, pull off towel, grab willy, go "Yeah, baby" and thrust pelvis at her. Put on yesterday's clothes.
