How to get closer to a colleague from a different department?

[hyperdog]

Ok, here is an update. Somehow my colleagues have deduced that I like her, and now I've heard that people have asked her whether she and I are going out or not. I was told that her reaction to that question was not dismay or awkwardness. Now that the concept is in the back of her mind, I wasn't sure how to talk to her the next time. Yesterday, I did say hello to her, but had planned to talk just briefly with her. Much to my surprise, she looked quite comfortable and relaxed, and even looked like she wanted to talk more when I said good-bye to her.

So I think my chances have increased with her. I'm thinking of leaving a Christmas card for her, saying "....It has been nice talking to you this year, though only briefly...", implying that I would like to be able to spend more time with her. Do you think this is a good idea? Remember, I'm on crutches and thus am in no position to ask her out.

 

[Aardvark154]

Remember, I'm on crutches and thus am in no position to ask her out.

Why not? Is she that shallow?

 

[Hangman]

Ok, here is an update. Somehow my colleagues have deduced that I like her, and now I've heard that people have asked her whether she and I are going out or not. I was told that her reaction to that question was not dismay or awkwardness. Now that the concept is in the back of her mind, I wasn't sure how to talk to her the next time. Yesterday, I did say hello to her, but had planned to talk just briefly with her. Much to my surprise, she looked quite comfortable and relaxed, and even looked like she wanted to talk more when I said good-bye to her.

So I think my chances have increased with her. I'm thinking of leaving a Christmas card for her, saying "....It has been nice talking to you this year, though only briefly...", implying that I would like to be able to spend more time with her. Do you think this is a good idea? Remember, I'm on crutches and thus am in no position to ask her out.

Where do you work, a junior high school?

For your own sanity, buddy, just go talk to the woman and ask her out. Forget the crutches, forget the huge insecurities you have. Just GO. You'll give yourself brain failure if you keep overanalyzing. You're in no positin to ask her out because you have convinced yourself of that.

Just say "As you see, I don't get around so well these days, but let's go for a drink after work."

 

[curiousandlooking]

I would have just asked her if she wanted to get a coffee or tea for a break. You can talk about work and migrate towards more personal questions.... something easy like - "so do you have a boy friend?" or start with "what do you like doing when you are not working?". Even if she has or says she has a boyfriend does not mean her current relationship is great... you can be friends and get to know her.

my 2 cents

 

[buttercup]

This isn't the first time in the whole history of the world that a guy has found himself in the position, that he wants to ask a girl out for a date, but he's hesitating because he doesn't want to expose himself to being rejected.

Of course, ideally, what you do is you go up to her, like you would if you were Leonardo di Caprio, and just tell her the time and place. However, if you had been blessed with the required degree of (genuine) confidence, this thread would not exist.

So, what do you have going for you? Well, you're on crutches! You should give thanks to god that you have in your hands the perfect prop!

Even a cringing wimp, armed with crutches, can surely turn the conversation towards: I want to ask you out for a date, and I will when I get rid of these damn things."

If she's even slightly interested, she will ask you for the date, right then and there. On the other hand, if she backs off, you won't feel like you've been rejected, becasue you haven't actually commited yourself to asking her out. Plus, you won't have closed the door to asking her again, at some future date.

We should all have your luck!

 

[Powershot]

The crutches thing is no reason not to ask her out, if she likes you she will see beyond that. It seems like you're just looking for excuses and once they're off you'll say "I cannot possibly ask her out now, its been way too long". What she will see is your hesitation and low confidence level. You sound like a 14 year old who has never dated, time to man up.

 

[TVA]

Fact: She knows you like her, yet she still seem comfortable around you - good you did not creep her out yet
Fact: She wants to talk to you longer, but you ejected - good you played hard to get

You are doing VERY VERY well for someone with no self confidence at all at this point of game. All it takes to ruin it all us to leave a creepy xmas card on her desk. If she really liked you, she will be disappointed on what kind of meak minded loser you really are. If she was playing with you, she continue to do so and abuse you.

My GUESS is that she really likes you. Christmas card is not what she wants between her legs, it's your COCK she wants! So go ahead ask her out already! Use my art gallery idea as logistics. Don't make me come down there and whip you with those crutches!

 

[Rono]

HD,
I hope you made it clear to her that the crutches are temporary.

 

[gcostanza]

It seems to me the O.P. is using the crutches as .... well.........a CRUTCH !!

 

[Rono]

It seems to me the O.P. is using the crutches as .... well.........a CRUTCH !!

Not funny George, really not funny.

 

[hyperdog]

All it takes to ruin it all is to leave a creepy xmas card on her desk.

No one else said that a christmas card would be creepy. I put the card in her mailbox already, but no one saw me do it, and I also wrote somewhat indecipherable initials instead of my name. If she ever asks me if the card is from me and looks unimpressed by it, I can always just deny it (and then would know that asking her out is out of the question). Of course, if she looks impressed then I will say it was from me.

 

[Hangman]

No one else said that a christmas card would be creepy. I put the card in her mailbox already, but no one saw me do it, and I also wrote somewhat indecipherable initials instead of my name. If she ever asks me if the card is from me and looks unimpressed by it, I can always deny it (and would then know that asking her out is out of the question). Of course, if she looks impressed then I will say it was from me.

You don't see how incredibly creepy that is? SRSLY???

 

[hyperdog]

What's wrong with writing initials on a card?

 

[yahoo40]

you are a joke . now i know why you are on crutches.

I use to do this when I was in grade 5

 

[blackrock13]

No one else said that a christmas card would be creepy. I put the card in her mailbox already, but no one saw me do it, and I also wrote somewhat indecipherable initials instead of my name. If she ever asks me if the card is from me and looks unimpressed by it, I can always just deny it (and then would know that asking her out is out of the question). Of course, if she looks impressed then I will say it was from me.

No, the Xmas card isn't creepy, but signing it the way you've described is. Stand behind what you're doing and don't sneak around ffs. Sign your name on the freakin' card and give it to her. I'm beginning to lose my empathy for you. You're starting to make me wonder. If she doesn't say anything to you about the card, you've lost any advantage it may have given you.

 

[hyperdog]

Oh well. Maybe it's all over then. I hope on Monday morning the card is still in her mailbox, so I can pull it out. Otherwise, I'll just call it quits.

 

[blackrock13]

Oh well. Maybe it's all over then. I hope on Monday morning the card is still in her mailbox, so I can pull it out. Otherwise, I'll just call it quits.

Don't quit. She can't mean that much to you, but just realize it did nothing positive for you. If she does approach you, admit it was you and apologize for the bad penmanship. Don't start the friendship with such a crazy lie.

 

[hyperdog]

The truth is that I initialized the card instead of writing my name because I was too coward to write my name.

Ok damage control. I won't give up just yet. If the card is not in her mailbox Monday morning (meaning she already got the card), then instead of waiting for her to approach me about it, I will apologize to her for not writing my name. I'll just tell her I wasn't thinking straight. Is that good?

 

[Powershot]

Get rid of the card if you can before she gets it, its an odd thing to have hanging over either of you. Its getting way too awkward, and well intentioned or not, you are acting like your office is grade 9, it looks bad on you here and at the office.

When you are ready, ask women out that you can express interest in to their face.

 

[gcostanza]

Not funny George, really not funny.

Step off, Rono.