How to feed the Hobby

[justawildchild]

Hey guys, I have a general question for everyone here. I have been on this site for years and am always in awe when I read about the number of times that some of you are seeing these girls. Sometimes more than once on the same day (yes, I am looking at YOU Agent Orange :director: )

So here is my question. How do YOU feed your hobby?

I know for me there is no way I can justify to my s.o. taking out $100-200 from the bank account so for me it is putting a little aside every now and again to build up the funds. Sometimes I will get some extra cash that goes un-noticed but that is far and few between. This makes this site all the more valuable to me as I can't justify to TOFTT very often.

So how about you guys? How do you do it. Any tricks or advice. Some of you just may be more well off or have separate bank accounts but I am sure you still need to be careful but I would like to hear from you. What is your secret?


JWC

 

[massman]

Not an issue for me, but why don't you just get cash back at lcbo, loblaws etc?

 

[justawildchild]

Not an issue for me, but why don't you just get cash back at lcbo, loblaws etc?

I have done that too, but I can't do a lot at a time. Same deal with building up funds. Plus we usually use our credit card for buying most items (for points) and you can't do cash back on a CC

 

[Curious36]

Separate bank accounts. We never argue about money because what is hers is hers and mine is mine. We split on joint expenses.
You might want to hatch a plan where you start scrutinizing her expenditures. Maybe get in a few tiffs before suggesting you both get separate accts. Sell her the benefits...if she wants to buy that $1k handbag you won't mind because it's her $.

 

[massman]

I have done that too, but I can't do a lot at a time. Same deal with building up funds. Plus we usually use our credit card for buying most items (for points) and you can't do cash back on a CC

Instead of cc use debit sometimes and take a little at a time. This will be good to because it will force you to be frugal with your hobby $$ as well.

Though I really have to question why the SO is scrutinizing $100 withdrawals. Even in our plastic society I always make sure I've got $100 or more on me for various things. That's between you and her but that is some serious monitoring. Now if you plan to see several sps a week, u can see how that might be a problem.

 

[contact]

if you get a bonus at work or a raise don't tell her I got a big raise last year never said a word funding is not an issue........

 

[renuck]

My work is still old school and does paper cheques. When I deposit I take out $100... always have. I have a lot of hobbies that need money in parts and materials so the s.o. has no idea and I always interact the stuff I buy. At some point I get hit up for cash since I always have it but come next pay I stash what's left. Usually $60 or so/wk. Not a big operating budget in this hobby but doesn't leave you dead in the water either. Kijiji some crap you'll never use is an option too.

 

[dirkd101]

When I was married, my SO and I shared one bank account, so there was no issues for me. That being said, if you want to have access to your own funds you need to be creative, without raising your SO's suspicions. Look for something that becomes your new "hobby" :wink: where you will need small sums of cash money. Start saving this and eventually up what you need. She probably spends more on make-up, hair and clothes in a year than you will on the hobby, so all's good.

 

[Jack_attack]

I'm pretty much in the exact same boat as you, OP. My wife and I cruised on separate accounts until a year after we were married, 3 years after we had moved in together. I stalled on joining accounts purely so that I could keep the hobby game strong, but eventually the burden of splitting costs became too much of a pain and I couldn't hold back the inevitable any longer.

The cash back option is also not available to me because we use CC for 100% of everything we buy. The debit only gets used at locations where they don't accept CC. Using debit all of a sudden would be suspicious, and the "their credit card systems were down" excuse only works once.

So I'm left with hoarding my pennies, inconspicuously withdrawing $20 or $40 every other week, stuff like that. I'm lucky in that we meet with a group of friends weekly for dinner and I do the grocery shopping so everyone usually pays me back in cash. The wife has yet to notice that that cash never gets deposited, but lately the crowd at those gatherings have been dwindling and the ones remaining have been leaning heavier on e-transfers. Business is tight.

Also, I've always been just a little ashamed that usually that birthday money from grandma directly funds my hobbying habit. That crisp $50 bill goes straight from card to SP. Sorry grandma.

 

[Mencken]

Take some cash out of your joint account. Tell her what you used it for. Soon you won't have a joint account. Whatever is left you can use how ever you want. Worked for me. Honest.

 

[renuck]

^^^LOL

This is a valid topic but equally so is finding the time too. Between work, and home life ,and cell phones, and GPS, it's hard to drop off the grid for a couple hours. Thankfully I've figured how to run a second phone/text # from my cell that doesn't show up on the cell phone records so that eliminates one hurdle. Still hard to duck the boss and the s.o.

 

[Jack_attack]

Take some cash out of your joint account. Tell her what you used it for. Soon you won't have a joint account. Whatever is left you can use how ever you want. Worked for me. Honest.

Hahaha "whatever is left" being the most important part of the statement.

 

[bver_hunter]

Guys do you not feel guilty of "cheating" on your spouse?
When I was married, I did not indulge in the hobby other than going to a strip club with buddies only for the eye candies.
Then I got into being a hobbyist after our separation. Even when I got back into relationships, I once again stayed away from MPAs / Escorts.

 

[massman]

Guys do you not feel guilty of "cheating" on your spouse?
When I was married, I did not indulge in the hobby other than going to a strip club with buddies only for the eye candies.
Then I got into being a hobbyist after our separation. Even when I got back into relationships, I once again stayed away from MPAs / Escorts.

Hey man. Everyone has their own reasons for engaging in this hobby. Careful not to judge. Much of society would judge you for being a dirtbag for being involved in the hobby at all. For some the physical outlet they get actually allows them to stay
In a relationship for the good of family etc.

 

[bver_hunter]

Hey man. Everyone has their own reasons for engaging in this hobby. Careful not to judge. Much of society would judge you for being a dirtbag for being involved in the hobby at all. For some the physical outlet they get actually allows them to stay
In a relationship for the good of family etc.

Then to much of society you and everyone on this board are dirtbags. Not judging anyone, just trying to find out if people feel guilty or not of participating as a hobbyist if they are in a relationship. Somehow your spouse / wife will eventually grasp it from your activities etc. Well if they do not feel the guilt and can continue with the relationship and being a hobbyist then hats off to them. Some spouses are even okay with it.

 

[massman]

Then to much of society you and everyone on this board are dirtbags. Not judging anyone, just trying to find out if people feel guilty or not of participating as a hobbyist if they are in a relationship. Somehow your spouse / wife will eventually grasp it from your activities etc. Well if they do not feel the guilt and can continue with the relationship and being a hobbyist then hats off to them. Some spouses are even okay with it.

Hey, sorry if you were not trying to be judegmental. I misread the "aren't you guys cheating" and "I never hobby wen in a reationship" parts as being so. Maybe I read too much into your post. I'm well aware that all of my activities here may not be acceptable to many in society. I suppose that it is a legit question, asked hundreds of times on this board already. So yes, of course it's pretty much always cheating, unless she knows and condones. But not everyone has a perfect satisfying relationship. Not everyone can just up and leave, if the one aspect of the relationship is unsatisfactory and doesn't meet their needs. Some spouses are physically incapable of sex. Some have a problem and are sex addicts and can't help it. Some are just assholes and don't care that they pay other women for sex. Those and probably a billion other individual reasons why a guy in a relationship would hobby. Hope that helps answer the question.

 

[Jeffrey93]

Lol, thread is HOF material.... What a wonderful cast of pathetic losers

 

[massman]

Lol, thread is HOF material.... What a wonderful cast of pathetic losers

Thanks bro.

 

[renuck]

Guys do you not feel guilty of "cheating" on your spouse?

Gotta admit I construed the question in a different tone than intended as well instead of a genuine question. Sorry for that. To echo massman, we all have our reasons for being here though I won't go into my personal situation. If I were single I doubt I'd even be here given the plethora of sites and apps available to "hook up" for free. So I have to assume the majority of the people here are in a relationship to some degree and use these resources to fill a need for whatever reason. Do I feel guilty? Kinda yeah. Sure there are other options but I don't think there is necessarily a right choice here, just a choice of the lesser of the evils. Sorry for the rant.

Oh and Jeffrey93, thank you for your input. That was very helpful.

 

[bver_hunter]

Gotta admit I construed the question in a different tone than intended as well instead of a genuine question. Sorry for that. To echo massman, we all have our reasons for being here though I won't go into my personal situation. If I were single I doubt I'd even be here given the plethora of sites and apps available to "hook up" for free. So I have to assume the majority of the people here are in a relationship to some degree and use these resources to fill a need for whatever reason. Do I feel guilty? Kinda yeah. Sure there are other options but I don't think there is necessarily a right choice here, just a choice of the lesser of the evils. Sorry for the rant.

Oh and Jeffrey93, thank you for your input. That was very helpful.

Apologies if my query was misconstrued as well. Also, uderstand what you are saying about hooking up on singles sites. I did that but then I ran into certain unwanted melodrama, whereas seeing the well reviewed MPAs / escorts is all about sex and then on to the next one without any hassles. I find casual relationships have better chemistry than the singles sites relationships in my experience. Also, on a different note put yourself in your spouses shoes. What if she is having casual sex on the side, and you happen to find out. I know that to us it would be absolutely unacceptable. All I can say is do not get caught by leaving a paper trail of any sort. Joint bank accounts are one of those trails. One thing that you can get away is mentioning problems with the car, and you take it to a private garage who saves you a lot of money if you pay by cash. Wives / spouses generally do not want to know much about issues with cars.