How old is too old to have kids?

[BallzDeep]

I'm as close to 40 as you can get, 3 years ago I quit a dead end job and went on about a 2.5 year pooning tour consisting of sp's, sc's and mp's. Been to Amsterdam, Vegas, Thailand, Montreal, and Toronto, I worked enough to pay for the trips, I wanted to enduldge in the activites I didn't do much of when I was younger.

I've had sex with many women of all races but I realized I could have sex with many more and still wouldn't feel happy, I also could care less if I ever set foot in an sc again.

I'm at a crossroads because I'd like to move on and look for a mate, but I realized most are taken as well wonder if I could be faithful, however now that I've got it out of my system, I think I could. By the time I meet someone, if it works out and by the time a kid is born I'd be almost 42. I think I fucked up, any thoughts.

Any of the married guys want to chime in about marriage in general, any regrets about it, would you rather have stayed single? I'm sure not every married guy on here is miserable, any positive stories. I saw a girl a few days ago I've liked for a while and didn't see a ring on her finger, but when I thought about asking her out, my freedom felt threatened.

 

[Ashley Dupree]

I'm as close to 40 as you can get, 3 years ago I quit a dead end job and went on about a 2.5 year pooning tour consisting of sp's, sc's and mp's. Been to Amsterdam, Vegas, Thailand, Montreal, and Toronto, I worked enough to pay for the trips, I wanted to enduldge in the activites I didn't do much of when I was younger.

I've had sex with many women of all races but I realized I could have sex with many more and still wouldn't feel happy, I also could care less if I ever set foot in an sc again.

I'm at a crossroads because I'd like to move on and look for a mate, but I realized most are taken as well wonder if I could be faithful, however now that I've got it out of my system, I think I could. By the time I meet someone, if it works out and by the time a kid is born I'd be almost 42. I think I fucked up, any thoughts.

Any of the married guys want to chime in about marriage in general, any regrets about it, would you rather have stayed single? I'm sure not every married guy on here is miserable, any positive stories. I saw a girl a few days ago I've liked for a while and didn't see a ring on her finger, but when I thought about asking her out, my freedom felt threatened.

Sound like you are a confirm bachelor or you been watching too much t.v. I use to know a few guy like this who couldnt commit before or blew off engagement a couple of time and they got marry late in life and had kid older than 42 and are happy... at least i think. coming from someone who got marry..it get mundane and routine and sex become less and less. the person you fell in love with may not be that same person anymore. it might be difficult that you could be set in your way at this point in your life and may not want to change. is there anyone else in your life like family pressuring you to get marry? many people in society think there is something wrong with guy if he is 40 and single. just a word of advice.. dont move too fast to find someone to settle down with or settle for just anyone. you already stay this single for this long so be cautious. you will know when you find right woman.

 

[Cycleguy007]

Any of the married guys want to chime in about marriage in general, any regrets about it, would you rather have stayed single? I'm sure not every married guy on here is miserable, any positive stories. I saw a girl a few days ago I've liked for a while and didn't see a ring on her finger, but when I thought about asking her out, my freedom felt threatened.

No regrets here!

(I don't think I need to go into any FURTHER detail... LOL!)

 

[Captain Fantastic]

...Any of the married guys want to chime in about marriage in general, any regrets about it, would you rather have stayed single? I'm sure not every married guy on here is miserable, any positive stories. I saw a girl a few days ago I've liked for a while and didn't see a ring on her finger, but when I thought about asking her out, my freedom felt threatened.

Without passing judgment, I'd have to ask you a few questions:

• Are you happy in life, and in particular, yourself?
• What do you want out of life - a family, companionship, etc.?
• Or do you want freedom to do whatever without compromise?
• Have you been dating even semi-seriously at all ever or even semi-recently?

Whatever you do, don't do anything out of desperation. If it's meant to be, it will happen, but you need to change the paradigm from a single, SP-seeing guy to someone looking for more. You will have to look at relationships from a holistic standpoint and be willing to "put in the work" and recognize that it's not going to be great all of the time. Are you ready for this?

BTW, I'd ask her out. Dating is almost always fun and exciting anyway.

 

[Jade4u]

You're not 60 and will be in your 80's when your child turns 20 (which is still a man). If you want to have children go for it. It is in a childs younger years that they need the most active parents to kick a ball around with anyways. When they are teenagers they will be out kicking balls around with their teenage buddies and chasing girls anyhow.

Do what you wish in life now or later you will have more regrets. Live your dreams.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R9ya9BXClRw&NR=1

 

[BallzDeep]

Without passing judgment, I'd have to ask you a few questions:

• Are you happy in life, and in particular, yourself?
• What do you want out of life - a family, companionship, etc.?
• Or do you want freedom to do whatever without compromise?
• Have you been dating even semi-seriously at all ever or even semi-recently?

Whatever you do, don't do anything out of desperation. If it's meant to be, it will happen, but you need to change the paradigm from a single, SP-seeing guy to someone looking for more. You will have to look at relationships from a holistic standpoint and be willing to "put in the work" and recognize that it's not going to be great all of the time. Are you ready for this?

BTW, I'd ask her out. Dating is almost always fun and exciting anyway.

I've been single a long time, always enjoyed the freedom of it but after my pooning trip to Thailand, I realized that it was fun but it got boring after a while, having sex with hot 20 years olds actually wears off after a while , plus those Thai ladies are beautiful but they are pros, they can be cuddling up to you in bed and you think she's falling for you, then ten minutes later she wants her money and a tip, and is gone and could care less if she ever sees you again.

I guess I'm just thinking what my future is gonna be, doing things solo is fun but it wears off.

I guess I'm just thinking out loud.

I've even considered working my ass off for 5 years, hopefully have enough to semi-retire on, go over there, meet a wife have a few kids and maybe work here 4-5 months a year, and spend the rest over there, finding a woman is so easy over there, but I don't know if I could handle the culture shock for that, complete opposite of life here.

 

[Aardvark154]

You have to look at your motivations - which is a matter for you, not for us.

That said, I'm aware of plenty of men - not well known as well as well known who have married and had children in their 50's and 60's. At least personally I don't know of any of the children of such marriages who have gone around saying "my dad was a mean selfish SOB because he was 56 when I was born."

 

[Tangwhich]

I'm not married, but I see friends that are either starting to get divorced or their lives are really dull. Having kids just traps them.
Sometimes I think that maybe it would be nice to get married, but then I just look at them and read the following website to snap me out of it.

http://nomarriage.com/

 

[wantoplay]

Well I hope I am not crazy, but I am 37 and would love children. Real late bloomer, and hope to fulfill that soon!!

 

[BallzDeep]

Ballz. It's not a matter of how old you want to be when you have children. It is how old you want to be when you have teenagers.

That's what concerns me most, the long term, I'm hoping to spend 3-4 months in Florida when I'm 60, that won't be happening now, plus I don't really want to do it alone.

On the flipside, a divorce would be even worse, I wish I could have kids without the wife.

Plus about once a month I get yellow fever and find my face buried between a female asians legs, that doesn't help either.

 

[Aardvark154]

That's what concerns me most, the long term, I'm hoping to spend 3-4 months in Florida when I'm 60, that won't be happening now, plus I don't really want to do it alone.

On the flipside, a divorce would be even worse, I wish I could have kids without the wife.

Plus about once a month I get yellow fever and find my face buried between a female asians legs, that doesn't help either.

Unfortunately it's hard to find a person who will love you as you love them. As to the Asian "thing" there are plenty of Asian-Canadians & Asian-Americans. You just have to find one who wants to find you.

 

[onthebottom]

That's what concerns me most, the long term, I'm hoping to spend 3-4 months in Florida when I'm 60, that won't be happening now, plus I don't really want to do it alone.

On the flipside, a divorce would be even worse, I wish I could have kids without the wife.

Plus about once a month I get yellow fever and find my face buried between a female asians legs, that doesn't help either.

I think the decision you have to make is, are you ready to put yourself second and put your children/family first. If not, keep moving and chalk it up to a mid-life crisis.

Have a wife isn't that big a commitment, especially since it doesn't sound like you have a ton of money thus not much to lose. Kids are a huge commitment, financially and emotionally.

If you're not ready to:

- put your children first
- get a job that allows you to have more security than living hand to mouth
- do the above for 20 years and then pay several grand a year for collage for four years

If you're ready then I say go for it, I'm on vacation with my two kids and they are the most important thing in the world to me. If you're not ready to do the above then please don't, you'll just fuck them up.

OTB

 

[BallzDeep]

At this point I'm ready to put others first as I've had my fun now, have to mull it over a little more.

The kids i can put first, it's the wife part that's the problem.

 

[BallzDeep]

Dude ,
I got married for the wrong reasons , kid came very fast and I was trapped ...
Now a lot of people are going to say " divorce is common " etc but the thought of not being with my child everyday kills me.
My wife and I don't have sex , barely even sleep in the same room and I feel no attraction to her at all and would say that I have love for her but am in no way in love with her.
I am a cheat , I lie , I hide shit and live a second life and some days really regret making certain decisions even though I know it means I would not have my child.
I hobby because its an out , its a chance for me to feel alive , feel intimacy and be able to walk away and go back to my pretend life ...
Think twice my friend ...some choices you make affect you for the rest of your life and also affect others around you ...
Sorry wish I could give more indepth into how it all happened and why a made the choices I did but I am sure you understand why I can't ...

Sorry to hear about your situation, yours is the kind of situation I fear the most, however I'm yearning to be a parent after playing with my nephews. I also don't know how good a husband I would be as I can be quiet and am used to time to myself.

 

[angrymime666]

I'm as close to 40 as you can get, 3 years ago I quit a dead end job and went on about a 2.5 year pooning tour consisting of sp's, sc's and mp's. Been to Amsterdam, Vegas, Thailand, Montreal, and Toronto, I worked enough to pay for the trips, I wanted to enduldge in the activites I didn't do much of when I was younger.

I've had sex with many women of all races but I realized I could have sex with many more and still wouldn't feel happy, I also could care less if I ever set foot in an sc again.

I'm at a crossroads because I'd like to move on and look for a mate, but I realized most are taken as well wonder if I could be faithful, however now that I've got it out of my system, I think I could. By the time I meet someone, if it works out and by the time a kid is born I'd be almost 42. I think I fucked up, any thoughts.

Any of the married guys want to chime in about marriage in general, any regrets about it, would you rather have stayed single? I'm sure not every married guy on here is miserable, any positive stories. I saw a girl a few days ago I've liked for a while and didn't see a ring on her finger, but when I thought about asking her out, my freedom felt threatened.

Im in the same boat as you but only at 36. I figure a few more years and Ill be mature enough to plant roots and seed.

is it to late. not at all. from my view point you will be hopefully set financially to become a parent. I would like to be a stay home dad and raise my kid, my way. it just seems to make more sense to have kids and settle when you are stable enough and can afford to. plus the idea of having a late 20's wife spawing my children appeals to me.

just need to find the right woman, the right lawyer and the right papers

 

[ultraviolet]

There is one fundamental difference between men and women and it is this:

Time.

Charlie Chaplain fathered his last child at the age of 73 with a woman in her 30's. A woman once she passes menopause, it's game over for having a child. A man does not have that limitation. We simply have more time.

Generally men get better with age, they have more resources, more power, more experience, more confidence. Even when you get older you should be able to get girls in their 20's and 30's (late childbearing years).

I'm in my mid 30's and when I'm not doing this SP thing (which isn't very much since I've only done it a few times), the girls I date are in the late teens/early 20's. I expect by the time I'm in my 40's, I'll still be dating girls in their early 20's.

But before you marry, you might want to read this, marriage and having kids in a Western feminist society may not be the best thing for a guy, lest he get trapped into a life he no longer wants but cannot leave because it would utterly destroy him:

http://www.dont-marry.com/

 

[Thunderballs]

Don't get married just to have kids as you will likely settle for the wrong girl and it will likely end in divorce. Take your time, find the right girl and then have kids with her as a natural next step in the relationship. Kids strain a marriage more than anything including in-laws and careers. If you are not solid with your mate first, then kids will only magnify any problems that you have. And I know what you mean by having SP's out of your system. I had them out of my system 23 SP's ago.

 

[GotGusto]

My advice to you is to get married, have kids. They're your legacy. Ignore all the people that tell you not to settle for this or that. Almost everybody settles. Nobody finds that perfect mate. The 50% divoce rate hasn't stopped others (many of them ill equipped and dumb as hell) from getting married and popping out kids. Why should it stop you?

If have kids today, you'll be 60 when they're entering their first year in college. You don't have much time to spare if you want to be active in your child's life.

Imagine seeing a little version of you starting out life with his whole future ahead of him, and watching him grow into a man and contributing to society. I look forward to having a son or two in the future.

The more GotGusto there is in the world, the better off the world is.

 

[BallzDeep]

The girl I'm interested in is my age, so I did consider her age and her ability to have kids. As for getting married and being miserable, being single was fun for a long time but not so much anymore, there's only so many pooning trips one can go on.

 

[ang]

I don't have any regrets what so ever, I have a wonderful wife, who keeps our relationship fresh and exciting and I have 3 great kids that mean the world to me, and I woudn't change a thing. I would just die without my family