langeweile said:
An sp can refuse a client but to do so because they are black I think is wrong.
You are right it is a personal business and if she has issues with blacks then I think she is in the wrong business.
How does an SP tell a client...
- Thread starter i_am_good
- Start date
An sp can refuse a client but to do so because they are black I think is wrong.
You are right it is a personal business and if she has issues with blacks then I think she is in the wrong business.
yep... she most definitely does need thereapybooboobear said:
and..
yep.. she should stay FAR away from this industry...because
A) She has the wrong mindset
and
B) from my experience, usually people who were sexually attacked oddly enoughly end up attracted to the act of sex (for what reason I couldnt tell you, I'm not a shrink)..... and more often than not girls in situations like that are like ticking time bombs... they think everything is all good and under control and then one day - KABOOM - her life gets screwed up even more and some innocent bystanders life potentially gets screwed too
to the originator of this thread... that was very very risky still going with her... she could have wigged out and did something stupid like accuse you of rape. Sound odd? I've heard of situations like that happening on a few occaisions.
count yourself lucky everything turned out relatively good... don't mess with a woman with "issues".. they'll screw your life up
She didn't reject just because he was black. It was becuase she was tramatized and has issues with him related to it with him.booboobear said:
What is different from her refusing to perform Greek or to perform without a condom, if she though he was too big or didn't trust him?
Why is a personal decision be "wrong" just because money is involved?
There was one SP who did not see Asian people because she didn't want her Asian family to accidently find out what she did. Why isn't this wrong?
Barry-O said:
Just like I'd bet my LAST DOLLAR that if a black person assaulted another black person that the victim will not end up having a complex with other black people.
Yeah because it is tougher to develop a complex against your "own kind".
Why is this so hard to see?
And I certainly know people who have a complex against white people. They aren't white however. I knew one black woman who told me that she felt some degree of racism from every white person she has ever met (and she lives in Toronto). Even when they are being nice to her it she can see it is all fake and patronizing. I also have an asian friend who has major issues with white people and feels that the white man is out to put the asian man down and steal their women.
Because it is tougher to develop a complex against your "own kind".
I'm not sure what point you're trying to make. Black people live all across North America, but your average white person probably interacts a lot less with them than with white people.Barry-O said:
Humans have emotions. Our actions and reactions don't always follow logically concluded paths. Moreso the case when emotional trauma is involved. If someone's family died in a plane crash, wouldn't their apprehension about flying be understood? Even if they logically understood that the statistical probability of dying in a car accident is much higher? I think that the criticism here stems from the sensitivity of racism and race relations in our society.spartan5782 said:
I don't think her response is intended to be malicious. It's not a logical reaction, it's an emotional one. I doubt that she truly thinks badly of all black people. From the original post, I think it's clear that she understands that the rapists' actions were not indicative of an entire race. That's why she sat down and discussed it with i_am_good. However, there is still that emotional component that is hard to eliminate through reason alone.spartan5782 said:
Hmmmm…sounds like you hit the jack pot, the big win. You bridged the uncrossable. That magical experience where in a first meeting intimate personal emotions were shared, understood and even topped with the cherry of sex. The reader cannot judge the woman in the story. She is what she is, a foil for the protagonist’s experience in life. Her life is too complex, and this slice too thin to be ruled by a chapter of pedestrian psycho-analytics. Trust me on this, if you see a 1000 more providers this experience will stand out as one of the all-time great ones. Over time most dim into a blur, but this one will stand apart. Your writing is proof of that. An unexpected rewarding adventure in life, later rendered nicely into prose by strong feelings and passion etching it deeper still. We should all be so lucky, once in five years even.
Not to get too off topic, but yes, I'd agree there might be a fear of flying in your example, just as I'd agree that there might be a fear of men in the case of rape. I guess the analogy would have to suggest that if it were a white plane v/s a silver plane v/s a black plane...would the colour of the plane make a difference? Would the person fear a white plane but readily board a silver? Ok, back on topic:chunkylover53 said:
Don't get me wrong, I've said all along that, right or wrong, people are free to think what they will. I wasn't suggesting that her free thoughts were malicous in nature, certainly inaccurate, but not malicious. If her or any other Provider chose not to provide service to me based on skin colour, as I said before, that's their choice and life goes on...as will I to the next one on my listchunkylover53 said:
The comments I've made were an attempt to answer i_am_good's questions and concerns:
1. How do you do it - tell someone, in a nice way, that you cannot see them?
2. Her, as well as others, insistence that somehow this is the Agency's responsibility: "Now, her anger rages toward the owners. Do they not respect her wishes? Why do they always do this to her?"spartan5782 said:
3. Finally, what I thought may have been an ill-advised gesture on i_am_good's part, as well as her's, to complete the transaction in the midst of tears and heartache. But, the bottom line was he came there for sex and she works there for money and everthing else ended up to be just storyline...thought provoking and heart tugging storyline, but storyline just the same.spartan5782 said:
So no, I'm not passing judgement on her or anyone who thinks like her. It's inaccurate and I will say loudly that skin colour has not a damn thing to do with behavior, just as in your analogy, the colour of the plane had nothing to do with the crash. In the Provider's tragic experience, she was raped by 3 men, vicious criminals to be sure. But to somehow attribute skin colour as a contributor and something to be mistrustful of is, of course, the illogical conclusions that society has been working on for years.
We certainly won't solve anything or even change minds much in this thread...but it's always worthy of discussion, especially for me. I'm a numbers kinda guy. There's currently about 2.5 million blacks in prison or on parole in the US. Tack on about another million that are just a$$holes...so about 3.5 million. That's about 9% of the 40 plus million blacks in the US, about the same number of the entire population in Canada. Yet, I know that when I walk through a door, damn near any door, I'm not viewed as one of the 91% (37 million) work your ass off, raise your kids the right way, productive part of society that happens to be black. So, I welcome any opportunity to voice on this topic. May not change much, but what the hell, sure as shit couldn't hurt!
Now, Back to our regularly scheduled Hobby!!!
hehehe said:
I just wish that since some girls feel this way they would be refused service because lets say the person serving them did not like the way they dressed , I wonder if they would then feel differently. Just a thought.
As far as the industry girls working hard for $ 90 for 30 minutes , first of all I respect what sp's do as they provide enjoyment for us horny men and above all they are people like us. Some also seem to enjoy their work and make us feel welcome true or not.
I must say however that $ 90 for 30 minutes is far more than the average person makes and a lot of people work very hard for a lot less.
I still think refusing service for colour is wrong.
In my opinion if this SP has these issues from her childhood and it still effects her deeply emotionally, i dont think the escort business is for her.
Marvin's Song
"Sexual Healing, oh baby
Makes me feel so fine
Helps to relieve my mind
Sexual Healing baby, is good for me
Sexual Healing is something that's good for me
Whenever blue teardrops are falling..."
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You da man, Dawg
"Sexual Healing, oh baby
Makes me feel so fine
Helps to relieve my mind
Sexual Healing baby, is good for me
Sexual Healing is something that's good for me
Whenever blue teardrops are falling..."
http://c3p0.sas.upenn.edu/albertm/Botz+Boatz/pimp-daddy.jpg
You da man, Dawg
Why do you say that? Because all Black people make money by slinging dope and popping caps at each other in the "hood" while white people are chilling out in Corporate life?... never ever to interact with eachother?chunkylover53 said:
I'm sorry but, the average white person also has at least enough sense and reasoning ability to tell teh difference between an isolated incident and a blind blanket type-cast
Dont get me wrong I'm not trying to put words in your mouth or make implication on you... just being sarcastic because.....Do you honetly think that white people dont interact with black people to a reasonable degree here in North America? This isnt 1939. Black people have jobs too eh? They are everywhere and any reasonable person can see with their eyes that obviously, not ALL of any race is a certain way.... yet they still choose to have their "opinions"...why? because like I said....I believe that that is what they actually want to believe....they see or hear anything contrary and they are in denial.....I see it all the time
I'm sorry chunky but thats a weak excuse for a weak excuse
I agree.. $90 for 30 mins?... they make the kind of hourly rate that someone who went to school for 10 years after HS makes... not bad at all.Simon Says said:
sorry but they dont get my sympathy (and I'm sure they dont want it), nobody is forcing them to do this... they turned to it on their own free will.. and yeah yeah, sob story times are rough but they make it sound like they are the only ones with problems. if everybody with problems had to turn to this buisness I dont think this site would be called TERB... it would be WERB. WORLD Escort Review Board.
I dont mean to sound cold but its the truth.. its a choice they make so they have to take it all with the good and the bad. or go find something else to do
Your strawman is coming along quite nicely. Are you going to accuse me of supporting segregation too? I especially like how your statement of not putting words in my mouth is both preceeded and proceeded by ... well ... you putting words in my mouth.Barry-O said:
White people, in fact, people of ALL ethnicities in North America interact mostly within their own groups. The key word here is "interact." Merely seeing the person, living in the same neighbourhood, riding with them on the subway, etc., does not count. AND, the closer the interaction, (i.e. friends vs. work) the more homogenous the group. Is this true for every single person? No. There are always exceptions and maybe even a sizeable number of exceptions. But it still remains generally true, even if we have come a long way over the last century. Look around and ask around. Most (not all) people share the same ethnic background as a disproportionately large number of their friends. I would bet my bottom dollar on this.
As for the girl in question: I don't think it's her 'opinion' that all black people are the same nor does she want to believe that. She is intellectually aware that 99% of black men are not the same as her rapists, but has emotional issues.
i_am_good said:
My goodness but this gives cause for deep contemplation. Her reasons are fair for her now but are certainly not fair to others, or to society as a whole.
You, it seems, were quite amazing with the whole episode and the fact that you show such compassion for her is commendable.
I really got a bad feeling at the end where you scolded yourself for staying, as you had no cause to do scold yourself.
Indeed it was up to her, provided you were agreeable, and you simply let it be just that.
Her reasons for the racial bias are understood, but they certainly aren't fair to society.
She also afforded you and, through your efforts here, all of us a glimpse of yet another inspiration for having the ability to perform the services of an SP. Society wants us to essentially deny employment to one-time victims who became so at the hands of the real evils in the world, when it just so happens that such trauma is often the catalyst for acquiring whatever it takes to be an SP.
We as a society victimize many people early in life, and then as they evolve through the plan which society lays out for them and their future, again we victimize them. All too often it boils down to real, live people being victimized once, and then being victimized later, or forever, just because they were victimized the first time. Talk about double jeopardy.
As I see it, I-am-good, the woman you met did an impressive job of showing herself to you in ways above and beyond what typical sessions require, and you, with all of your impressive instincts, did an equally impressive job of being step one...
Good job!
booboobear said:
Here is an example of what I stated just before:
"(I'm sorry you were victimized, but because you were victimized we're going to victimize you again)"
He is right about the therapy, and probably about his own skin colour too, but how can we really know about that last part?
booboobear said:
and then this, later:
Seeming to forget about the fact that we all sit here on this side of the fence where we hunt and hunt for the ideal asian SP, the perfect EU girl, the personable Chilean beauty or the Thai masseuse we may have seen before.
You just can't have it both ways, and if you want it your way, you have to completely respect the reasons, or lack there of, on the opposite side of the equation.
Hey, lets not even limit it to that, we sit here asking for advice on who has the largest natural chest, the tightest, um, accommodations, the meatiest labia, and many other absurd little aspects of humanity. And yet an SP who has not collected money from someone isn't allowed to decline a business contract with someone for any reason?
Face it, if we appreciate the very idea that these women are willing to enter into these arrangements we must at least strive to be fair!
If you are in a true business setting, then it is no more, or no less wrong to discriminate against a black person than it is against someone for the size of her chest, or even of her waistline. The black reference that this person makes is largely the result of international concern over race being a factor in any decision-making.
In summary, you can't play by your rules most of the time and then fail to appreciate someone else with whom you might wish to have a session with, when she decides that your particular member is too small for her standards.
Hopefully this sheds better light on the issues here.
