How do you get the girl to pay....

[AMWBT]

just a thought

You pay the first four times, she thinks you're paying all the time now, so she doesn't offer, but you pay for all your friends, you say, but, because she's a girl, you want her to pay some of the time, or at least, offer to pay some of the time, even if you keep paying anyway.... Geez! And you guys say women are "complicated"! Think about it - you're playing little games, except you forgot to tell her the rules.

P.S. People who pay for everything, every time they go out with their friends get used by them too!

 

[Meister]

you don't mind paying b/c it will never affect your lifestyle...money is not an issue but you don't want to feel like you are being used.

being used is not such a bad thing if you compare it to her starting to talk about

"where is this relationship going"
"I'd love to meet your mom"
"do you like children"

and my personal favourite:
"do you believe in separate bank accounts"

 

[Eli]

Let her order what ever she wants then when it's your turn say:

"I'll just have a salad." Or get bruchetta or just a Diet Coke.

When she asks you "Aren't you hungry?" Reply that you have a big credit card bill to pay off this month or somethin. Now, if she let's you starve then you should dump her A.S.A.P. She should offer to pay for dinner.

 

[rama putri]

The bottom line is if you ask her out - you pay. Period. The concept of who is paying, as a man, only comes up when you're cheap. This thread speaks volumes of today's Canadian man being about as chivalrous as today's Canadian woman is stylish. English Canadians, anyway. Soon we'll just be Americans - devoid of style whatsoever.

 

[Flower]

No, she doesn't know how to cook

I do all the cooking

....made lobster risotto and seared kobe beef with truffle shavings for her once

I'm sure that she knows how to order in food.

 

[Alexis69]

haha why not discuss it before hand
When you date do you go dutch or expect the guy to pay ?
If she says dutch then say great me too (if the bill comes and she doesnt ...shes a liar who doesnt pay lol
if she says i expect him to pay (then expect to pay or dont date her )
if she pays for you (um say THANK YOU lol)

 

[Eli]

I object rama putri.

See, I actually believe there was a woman's liberation movement at some point in recent history. I believe woman are as capable as men in the workforce and thus should be given the same respect and considerations of men. I believe 'sistahs' should be doing it for themselves and not relying on men to take care of them.

So if I let her pay for dinner then I am empowering her.

 

[havingfun]

I had exactly the same problem with a woman I dated once. I just told her directly that I had picked up the bill the first few times - but that I would like her to split the bill sometimes with me in the future. She had no problem with that.

 

[bkspoiler11]

re:

My advice is this. I'm straight up with the ladies now when going out on dates. Tell them ahead of time that they are going to be paying for their half. If they don't want to go out with me after that, I got my answer she's a gold digger and I wouldn't want to spend time with her anyways. Other then hobbying, I don't waste money on chicks when there is no guarantee I'm going to get laid. That's my attitude straight up.

 

[solitaria]

Consider yourself lucky.

I'd rather be used by a girl than loved by a girl. Some of you guys don't know what you are wishing for if all you want is sex.

 

[WhaWhaWha]

I dont mind paying as long as the girl doesnt try to supersize her combo.

</fries with that>

 

[Kommander1975]

Jesus you guys are cheap......... men are supposed to pay, always, when it comes to dining and going to the movies. A man is only used when the girl starts asking him to pay her rent or to "lend" her money that she never pays back.

 

[WhaWhaWha]

only used when the girl starts asking him to pay her rent or to "lend" her money that she never pays back.

been there. done that.

 

[bkspoiler11]

Re:

Jesus you guys are cheap......... men are supposed to pay, always, when it comes to dining and going to the movies. A man is only used when the girl starts asking him to pay her rent or to "lend" her money that she never pays back.

Boy u are out of touch. I don't know if you are a man or a woman but here is the bottom line. First off, I don't pay for strangers. Why should I pay for them when there is no guarantee that they will sleep with me. Oh by the way ladies a date does mean eventually we will sleep together. Personally I live by Leykis101 rules. 3 strikes and you're out! No such a thing as a platonic date for a guy period. Secondly, I don't start shelling out money on chicks until I have slept with them. I might pay one time for her and then vice versa or do the dutch thing. Personally i rather do the dutch thing all the way though. It's easier to keep track that way. Third you says guys are supposed to pay? Maybe that was the deal 40-50 years ago but incase you didn't know chivalry is dead. I tell you this I'll pay and be chivalrious for a chick when she makes me dinner, does my laundry, gives me massages after work, sex when ever i want too, that includes rusty trombones, and swallowing and doesn't blame her mood swings on me. Get the point? Most women aren't willing to do these things so why shell out money on them. As far as being cheap, I rather be cheap then stupid shelling out money on chicks when I don't know them. There is no guarantee they will sleep with you. No broad is worth paying until u slept with them. Period!

 

[james t kirk]

I know exactly what you are saying. It would be so nice if the girl at least made an effort or put up a bit of a fuss. I've dated a few girls like this and quite honestly, I ended up cutting them loose as they are not long term material.

Describes the situation I am in right now to a T.

She's funny, smart, fun to be with, but cheap as they come when it comes to anything or anyone other than herself. Also, she a slob, very messy and lazy when it comes to doing work around the house.

I don't mind picking up the tab 2/3 of the time, but I figure 1/3 should be hers, and right now, it's about 19/20 is mine and 1/20 is hers.

I've spoken to her about it, but she drifts right back to her old habits after the first time out where she picks up the tab.

So, I am going to be dealing her the nine of spades very shortly.

 

[bkspoiler11]

Most women aren't willing to do these things so why shell out money on them. As far as being cheap, I rather be cheap then stupid shelling out money on chicks when I don't know them. There is no guarantee they will sleep with you. No broad is worth paying until u slept with them. Period!


No gerk is worth sleeping with until he has paid a few times.... with your tone.. i'd say make him pay more than others...lol

First off you called me a gerk. I think you meant jerk and all I have to say to that is ty for the compliment. Or maybe you meant to spend girl and have a different perspective I don't know. LOL... I won't pay for a woman and that's it. Just remember vaginas are like buses they get old and smokey and another comes around every 10 mins period. That's my attitude on a subject any woman and i don't care how hot she is is not worth it for me to shell out cash for her. There are other women out there who will pay their own way aka going dutch who a guy could be with. Women who expect guys to pay when they don't know them are nothing but gold diggers or no sex escorts. There is no point paying for someone when sex is not guaranteed. Period! I say it's a sign of good character a woman willing to pay for her half of a date could be a good person. A woman who expects for you to pay that's a red flag in my book. She could definitely be a gold digger. The problem is women are stuck in the 1950-60's when guys did this. One thing they forget the women did things for the men. Now they don't want to do anything and expect things for free. Fuck dat! The bottom line is everything has an expiration date and I don't care how hot a woman can be she's not worth shelling out cash for with not knowing if she would sleep with u or not!

 

[baltimoron]

Funny, but I was brought up that a gentleman always opened the door for a lady, always ordered in the restaurant for both, and always picked up the tab.

I feel guilty when I'm out with a friend that happens to be female and she kicks in cash. I don't object, I just feel guilty.


Oh, how times have changed.

Ditto on everything except for the ordering part. I always let the lady order for herself, because only she knows what she really wants off of the menu.

I usually insist on picking up the tab as the gentleman; I only relent if she feels strongly enough about paying her share.

 

[bkspoiler11]

re:again

First off im teasing you... but if the shoe fits! I have gone dutch and have no problem doing so.. i have also helped ex boyfriends pay their rent or buy a car. I have not escorted long, but just to let you know my real job pays $10.00 an hour and i owe $20,000 because i supported a guy through collage and when it was my turn to go i got the shaft. I just think you have a poor attitude thats all. A date is suppose to be about getting to know someone and making a friend. I think you have forgotten that a girl is a person. I realize you are trying to make a point about golddiggers. But i hardly think a dinner or two is digging for gold. Maybe i should take you out for dinner and pay two or three hours of my wages on you to restore your faith in woman.., oh ya but you better be putting out then or its not worth my time. and you sure as hell aint ordering the lobster, that my friend cost a foot rub.
Oh and one more thing.... you sound like one hell of a catch. I could only hope!

First off dating equals sex period. If I'm going out on a date, i'm not looking to make friends. There is no such a thing as a platonic date. Why do u think I would want to go out with some one whom im attracted too not to have sex eventually. I don't go out on a date with the intentions to make pals. If a guy asks out a woman that means he is attracted to her and has already thought of her being naked or in a sexual way. You are really in denial as why a guy would go out with you. As far as the woman being a person, I never said she wasn't. However, for me sex is really important and for me the hotter the sex the chances are i want to get to know that person more. As far as my attitude I got news for you alot of guys think the way i do. They just don't say it aloud. I do. Why you may ask? i don't think women are the end all to be all. Women honestly think they have the only vagina on the planet. If one is going to expect a guy to pay and not do the heavy lifting some one else will. That's reality. But seriously I think you are lost or in denial that a guy wants to be your friend when he goes out with you. I wouldn't never invest money in a woman on a date to make a friend. Dating = Sex eventually and that's the way it is. A message for the guys out there the more you spend on a date the less likely she will sleep with you. Seriously guys don't be afraid to bring up going dutch. Don't give her a free ride because she won't respect you and there is no guarantee for sex.

 

[VincenzoTurismo]

Sex is not mandatory on the first date. But if the date goes really smoothly, the guy could at least receive a BBBJ.

Ciao,

VT

 

[solitaria]

First off dating equals sex period. If I'm going out on a date, i'm not looking to make friends. There is no such a thing as a platonic date. Why do u think I would want to go out with some one whom im attracted too not to have sex eventually. I don't go out on a date with the intentions to make pals. If a guy asks out a woman that means he is attracted to her and has already thought of her being naked or in a sexual way. You are really in denial as why a guy would go out with you. As far as the woman being a person, I never said she wasn't. However, for me sex is really important and for me the hotter the sex the chances are i want to get to know that person more. As far as my attitude I got news for you alot of guys think the way i do. They just don't say it aloud. I do. Why you may ask? i don't think women are the end all to be all. Women honestly think they have the only vagina on the planet. If one is going to expect a guy to pay and not do the heavy lifting some one else will. That's reality. But seriously I think you are lost or in denial that a guy wants to be your friend when he goes out with you. I wouldn't never invest money in a woman on a date to make a friend. Dating = Sex eventually and that's the way it is. A message for the guys out there the more you spend on a date the less likely she will sleep with you. Seriously guys don't be afraid to bring up going dutch. Don't give her a free ride because she won't respect you and there is no guarantee for sex.

I think you are the one in denial. Women aren't nearly as sexual as men and telling them there are plenty of girls that will bang you if they won't doesn't make them want to fuck you more for fear of losing out. If she can't have a conversation with you and see you as her friend there is no way she is going to have sex with you so that you can get your rocks off. You have to realize that money for women is like looks for men to varying degrees and forms but there is more to a real relationship than just a business transaction dressed up as dinner. What's the point of a relationship if it is just another form of sex for money? Why not just stick to prostitution if you value women for nothing else and sex is your end goal? Relationships and dating is only for when you appreciate a woman for something more than just the sex even though that is a part of it otherwise you are the one being dishonest and lacking perspective. Obviously you are the one missing something about the way things work or you wouldn't be so angry about not getting what you want.