How Do You Do It?

[blank_dave]

Before you go quoting one of the SPs on here "just hump," that's kind of not my problem.

I had my first experience last night, with Britney. Well, there's problem number one, first time. Combine a shy inexperienced guy with nerves and mix liberally with a lovely blond amazon and you'll get failure to launch. And it certainly wasn't for her lack of trying either.

The fact I don't relax easily and that I was worrying "am I doing this right?" also would have factored in.

The really problem, I believe was I couldn't shut my brain off and loose myself in the experience. I'd start getting into it, and then something would catch my attention and drag me out of it. (She nearly got to have me singing Don't Fear the Reaper while in 69...Which would have been really weird)

But it's not even doing this, I mentally multitask doing a lot of things...Even when I take my car to the track. (BTW you should be paying 100% attention to what you're doing when going at 140kph and a sharp right is 100m away)

How do you do it? Can you do it? Or is it just something that comes with time?

I'd like to see her again, as I did enjoy my time with her. (Also factor in, I'm a shy guy, Britney's has entered my comfort zone, someone new would be starting from scratch.) But I don't want to leave her feeling bad, like the other night. "There was a lot of attention paid to me, but you didn't get a lot out of it."

Anyone have any suggestions on how to loose myself, and just indulge my senses? And in the mean time, I'll just let the rug burns on my lips remind of of the night.

 

[Frosty]

It gets easier when you do it next time, so on and so on.

 

[blank_dave]

No one else have any input, other than Frosty's "get out there and get it on"?

 

[Hangman]

Gee, bud, not sure what to tell you. Are you normally all tense and anxious? How old are you? Are afraid? Of what? Women in general; getting caught with an SP, the shame of it all?

Sounds like your problem isn't specific to seeing SPs...learn to focus on what you're doing. Seriously, if a hotty like Britney can't keep your attention, then you might be super ADD or something.

 

[moviefan]

Frosty's right.

I'm a somewhat shy person myself, and I have found that as I have met more SPs, I have become more familiar with what to expect, how to make the situation more comfortable, etc.

It all gets much easier with experience. Trust me.

 

[rockandrollfreak]

Do you mean Brittney from Blue Lagoon with stars tattoo'd on her nipples? This girl actually has 100% NO tits and I dont even think she has nipples. It was the weirdest thing, there was not even a bump where her nipples should have been

Before you go quoting one of the SPs on here "just hump," that's kind of not my problem.

I had my first experience last night, with Britney. Well, there's problem number one, first time. Combine a shy inexperienced guy with nerves and mix liberally with a lovely blond amazon and you'll get failure to launch. And it certainly wasn't for her lack of trying either.

The fact I don't relax easily and that I was worrying "am I doing this right?" also would have factored in.

The really problem, I believe was I couldn't shut my brain off and loose myself in the experience. I'd start getting into it, and then something would catch my attention and drag me out of it. (She nearly got to have me singing Don't Fear the Reaper while in 69...Which would have been really weird)

But it's not even doing this, I mentally multitask doing a lot of things...Even when I take my car to the track. (BTW you should be paying 100% attention to what you're doing when going at 140kph and a sharp right is 100m away)

How do you do it? Can you do it? Or is it just something that comes with time?

I'd like to see her again, as I did enjoy my time with her. (Also factor in, I'm a shy guy, Britney's has entered my comfort zone, someone new would be starting from scratch.) But I don't want to leave her feeling bad, like the other night. "There was a lot of attention paid to me, but you didn't get a lot out of it."

Anyone have any suggestions on how to loose myself, and just indulge my senses? And in the mean time, I'll just let the rug burns on my lips remind of of the night.

 

[Hangman]

Do you mean Brittney from Blue Lagoon with stars tattoo'd on her nipples? This girl actually has 100% NO tits and I dont even think she has nipples. It was the weirdest thing, there was not even a bump where her nipples should have been

No, I think he means Britney from Mirage

 

[GDLLover]

No one else have any input, other than Frosty's "get out there and get it on"?

Frosty's right it does get easier after time, just know many of us are a little nervous before meeting a new lady. Its the whole anticipation, how will we click, will she like me, what do I say to her, OMG she's so much more experienced than I am, will I be able to perform, what do I do first? After a while you get thoose nerves to calm down after the first 5 mins, usually after a brief discussion and a little hug/kiss.

Until you've gotten a little more experience at this, I recommend you start with ladies that are more outgoing but not aggressive and are ok with leading the way. Then all you do is follow, relax and enjoy. Stay away from PSE until your ready and enjoy the GFE for now. Also, its good to mention to the lady before hand that your new to this, they will understand and make it their priority to make you feel at ease.

There are many ladies that are great with more inexperience guys and i'm sure you can get many suggestions from others. I'll put in my votes for either Deme or Simone (neither are spinners but both will take good care of you).

 

[Brill]

It's hard to get yourself to relax when you're feeling you need to get her off and you're sensing she's feeling that she's not able to get you off - a vicious circle, too much thinking going on!
Since you're inexperienced, a problem might be that your cock is too used to your own grip and rhythm - she can't compete with that so you'll have to wean yourself off it a bit.
Both these are really no big deal since you enjoyed the sessions otherwise, but with time you'll relax and have even more fun.

 

[genintoronto]

A few generic advices, until you answer some of the relevant questions asked to you by other posters:

1. Sex is supposed to be about fun. Try keeping that in mind when you're naked with a hot chick.
2. If you're paying for it, it's not about her, it's about you. It doesn't mean that you get free license to act like a selfish ass, but it does mean that you shouldn't have to worry too much about "performing" or "pleasing her".
3. Do your research to find an experienced, somewhat dominant or assertive, friendly and easy-to-relate to SP who is well-known for being able to lead a session. As a general rule, I would favor an older (25 and above) over a younger lady until you have more control over your nerves.
4. Close your eyes. I know, you're missing part of the experience when you do that, but as a case of ADD myself, I find that closing my eyes help me relax and focus on what is being done to me without letting my brains go in 10 different directions.
5. If you can afford it, go for a two hours or longer appointment. This will give you enough time to chat a little bit and relax without having to worry too much about the clock running. It will also allow you to fuck some, laugh some, talk some, fuck some more, quick rinse, more fucking, more talking and laugh, etc. When the clock is not ticking at you, it's easier to relax and enjoy your time for what it is, instead of making it about the SOG.

 

[blank_dave]

Gee, bud, not sure what to tell you. Are you normally all tense and anxious?

Usually am. If you buy into astrology, I'm nearly a perfect Virgo. I'm extremely introverted and a suffer from a severe case of self consciousness. Basically I'm very uncomfortable interacting with strangers on a personal level.

The night I made the appointment, I nearly passed a brick after doing it. All of Saturday from when I got up to when I got in my car, and then when I got into the apartment, my nerves were like violin strings. Britney picked up on it as soon as I came in the door. That's how tightly I was wound.

Which is funny, because I normally exude an aura of apathy. And it's not a Fonzie cool apathy, or an Emo/Goth doom & gloom/art fag apathy. Just a straight up resigned apathy. My coworkers don't think I ever get mad. I think some think I can't get mad.

How old are you?

Let's just say I was getting pretty damned close to being the 40 Year Old Virgin.

Are afraid? Of what? Women in general; getting caught with an SP, the shame of it all?

Everything and anything?

Sounds like your problem isn't specific to seeing SPs...learn to focus on what you're doing. Seriously, if a hotty like Britney can't keep your attention, then you might be super ADD or something.

It was something alright.

And you're correct, Hangman, it was Britney of Mirage.

 

[middleweight]

It gets easier when you do it next time, so on and so on.

I would agree. My first half dozen experiences weren't good. Very nervous, couldn't cum, couldn't get it up etc.

Sounds like you and Britney got on well otherwise. Perhaps if you get to know her and she gets to know you, you will feel more relaxed.

 

[Danolo]

A few generic advices, until you answer some of the relevant questions asked to you by other posters:


4. Close your eyes. I know, you're missing part of the experience when you do that, but as a case of ADD myself, I find that closing my eyes help me relax and focus on what is being done to me without letting my brains go in 10 different directions.

Waitaminit there Gen... I distinctly remember you look at us in the mirror with a lewd expression on your face.... that was very erotic, by the way..

 

[Danolo]

No one else have any input, other than Frosty's "get out there and get it on"?

Dave, make your next appointment with Genevieve... you will find yourself totally at ease with this sexy babe...

 

[blank_dave]

Dave, make your next appointment with Genevieve... you will find yourself totally at ease with this sexy babe...

LOL, you know what? When I read her reply, I found myself wondering if I should drop her a line and ask if that's her means of saying "I'll help."

 

[genintoronto]

Waitaminit there Gen... I distinctly remember you look at us in the mirror with a lewd expression on your face.... that was very erotic, by the way..

OK. Looking at yourself in the mirror works too.

 

[Hangman]

Good to hear back from you. It sounds like you're pretty unhappy with how you interact with the world, and not emotionally connected the way you would like.

But there are lots of things you can do.

Have you been to a doctor to rule out any honest-to-god medical condition or clinical depression? There's no shame in it - if your brain chemistry is fucked up, it needs correcting.

Then, there are various visualization techniques and other things like timeline therapy which may sound hokey but are effective at helping you focus on correcting your own behaviours that you feel may be sabotaging your life. And if you don't like your life now, what do you have to lose?

SPs won't 'cure' you, but the tactical application of killer blowjobs may help a lot.

I wish I could help more. PM me if you like.

 

[tboy]

well, first thing I'd do is go to your family doc and get some viagra, cialis or levitra. Then you don't have to worry about getting it up, it will be automatic. Then you can just sit back and enjoy the ride because once woody is standing at attention, I don't think any amount of anxiety is going to get him to go back to sleep.

I forget what porn producer/director said this but it holds true:

You only have so much blood in your body. If you're overthinking the situation that means that blood that should be filling up Mr Happy is actually circulating around your brain.

It also sounds like you have more issues than just this but you would probably benefit from some relaxation techniques. Deep breathing, meditation, that kind of thing......

 

[mb12ca]

I experienced that my first time too

I had the same experience as after my first visit I was unable to realease. I had to go home and do it myself. Anyway, keeping going back and seeing the same girl and it will feel like she is your girlfriend, not an sp. As you feel more comfortable, you'll be yourself. Just don't fall for the sp as it can easily happen. Then, you'll start getting frustrated that you can't have her outside her work. If you do start to fall for her after multiple visits, force yourself to see another sp right away.

 

[Shades]

Another thought...

If you are watching porno....take a break. It may be filling your mind with thoughts of "...how it should be..." Which, of course, is BS. The staged porno scenes with the pre-action fluffing etc....is not most of our realities...so don't have those images or thoughts planted in your brain as to how it is supposed to go.

Also, if you are the sensitive type, as your post suggested, then maybe you need to form some sort of emotional connection. Repeat visits to Britney or others and, as has been suggested, a longer visit, may help in this regard. But don't necessarily expect more than a casual friendship. The board is full of threads about obsessions and tragic consequences of unrequited love