How Can Virgins Stand It??
- Thread starter drlove
- Start date
Yes I admit I psyche myself out all the time. I mean when I see a hot girl, I do think about how it'd be like to be with them etc. But I think I'm just plain scared of talking to women I'm interested in. I mean I'm somewhat nervous around women in general regardless, but around attractive women, I'm just a nervous wreck. I usually don't say anything to them and when I do it comes out awkward. I guess I need more practice in talking to them in general I think.drlove said:
Like if I were suddenly to become a millionaire and could see as many escorts as I wanted when I wanted, I'm not sure how much that would help me with civilian women. I mean even if I could get sex anytime I wanted, so that that burden would be off of my shoulders, I don't know if talking to civilian women would be that much easier. It might turn out that way, but I guess I'm skeptical.
What you need to do is go into the situation / conversation as if you already know you have no chance to sleep with her, nor the desire. She might think/realize that you do not want her. that will make her want you!RaunchIsGoood said:
Just be yourself!
I know its easier said than done. I was hopeless with women until I was 20. Once I had one, It was an instant change to my psyche.
You're right, it just takes practice.RaunchIsGoood said:
Set your sights lower and chat up an average looking woman you might see around on a regular basis, one that you're fairly comfortable with. You'll find women aren't so different, they deal with the same issues and enjoy things in life like guys do.
You'll gain the confidence to approach someone more attractive or you'll find that you're happy with someone else first.
Sometimes standards have nothing to do with it.Robio said:
Maybe some guys just don't have any "game" with women. I know I don't, plus shyness/anxiety issues prevent me from really getting out and mingling much. I got to 19 before having my first GF, and its not like I picked her up -- she pursued me. Once that ended my 20s were a wasteland... I fucked a female friend a couple of times and also a couple of SPs. Then along came my next ex at 30. Again, she initiated contact and pursued me and we were together for almost 5 years. Now that's over.
So here I am at 35, and basically screwed. No sexual prospects, and no social life to speak of either.
There is no way I am going to be able to pick up a civilian woman since I've never even tried and wouldn't even know where to begin. I basically missed the boat back in high school so it's probably too late to learn now since I'm not prepared to do the hard, embarrassing and awkward work that would be involved. I'm not ugly or stupid, it's just that I am really not that outgoing, not great at conversation and reading signals/body language.
Oh well, at least there are SPs and I've got disposable income!
The poet Charles Bukowski spoke of getting rid of his virginity at age 24 with "a 300 pound whore", breaking the bed while doing so.
That's what I think the virgins over 20 should do. Just get it over with man, don't think about it too much. Sex is all just crazy bullshit anyway.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charles_Bukowski
That's what I think the virgins over 20 should do. Just get it over with man, don't think about it too much. Sex is all just crazy bullshit anyway.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charles_Bukowski
I lost my 'V' days before my 28'th birthday (nice gift eh!), but I wound up doing it with a dancer that I've been a regular customer of not an SP. I kept repeating to myself that it's just sex, don't get to serious etc. In fact it was her actually that offered to meet outside the club. I was TERRIBLE! Went through 2 condoms in the process and couldn't finish b/c I was so wound up. But in hindsight I'm glad I got it over and done with.
It's different though once you've done it. In many ways ignorance is bliss. Not knowing the intimate touch of being with a woman sort of dulls the sex drive. Sure you still have the primordial need for procreation and companionship, that can grate on you over the years (I was growing desperate by the years to finally do it). But having done it now, the desire for more has grown. You've done it, you know the feeling and almost like a drug you want it again.
Like most guys who commented here the combination of shyness and low self esteem conspired to make every attempt to meet woman a disaster. I think some of us miss out on those stages of highschool/teens where you strike out 1000's of times but in the process build a rapport and confidence around women, and by the time I was in my 20's I was already 5 laps behind everyone else. I'd get so psyched up with every woman I was attracted to I'd find myself beginning to think about being in a relationship with her before I'd even spoken to her. Obviously this would lead to awkward stares and inaction.
The only advice I'd give my fellow men out there is to put yourself out there, get used to social situations and make an effort to talk to women just for the pure sake of experience. The more you do it the more natural it will become. If you feel that you need to see a SP to become more comfortable and confident with women than do so. One other thing, practice putting that condom on, you don't want that awkward moment where you struggle to put your jimmy hat on
<end rant>
It's different though once you've done it. In many ways ignorance is bliss. Not knowing the intimate touch of being with a woman sort of dulls the sex drive. Sure you still have the primordial need for procreation and companionship, that can grate on you over the years (I was growing desperate by the years to finally do it). But having done it now, the desire for more has grown. You've done it, you know the feeling and almost like a drug you want it again.
Like most guys who commented here the combination of shyness and low self esteem conspired to make every attempt to meet woman a disaster. I think some of us miss out on those stages of highschool/teens where you strike out 1000's of times but in the process build a rapport and confidence around women, and by the time I was in my 20's I was already 5 laps behind everyone else. I'd get so psyched up with every woman I was attracted to I'd find myself beginning to think about being in a relationship with her before I'd even spoken to her. Obviously this would lead to awkward stares and inaction.
The only advice I'd give my fellow men out there is to put yourself out there, get used to social situations and make an effort to talk to women just for the pure sake of experience. The more you do it the more natural it will become. If you feel that you need to see a SP to become more comfortable and confident with women than do so. One other thing, practice putting that condom on, you don't want that awkward moment where you struggle to put your jimmy hat on
<end rant>
Agreed. My question was, given the ease of which escorts are available, what keeps someone in this situation from doing it.papasmerf said:
No, you learn confidence, you aren't born with it.
I meant for the guy to set his sights lower since he's a nervous wreck around gorgeous women.
He should get comfortable with women in general first, then he can move up to someone more beautiful if he wants.
ah fuck it, you were too stunned to understand the first time I explained it.
I meant for the guy to set his sights lower since he's a nervous wreck around gorgeous women.
He should get comfortable with women in general first, then he can move up to someone more beautiful if he wants.
ah fuck it, you were too stunned to understand the first time I explained it.
Oh dear, regretion...
You can be born and educated into it or learn it over time.
Stunned:- "Surprise greatly; knock someone's socks off". Yep that describes me.
You're just too good to me!!!!!!!!!!!!
******************************trisket said:
You can be born and educated into it or learn it over time.
Stunned:- "Surprise greatly; knock someone's socks off". Yep that describes me.
You're just too good to me!!!!!!!!!!!!
