Hobbyist with SO

[massman]

Bingo.

BTW, as a super powerful mod, maybe you could have dug up all the old threads to prove the assertion.

Here is a start.

https://terb.cc/vbulletin/search.php?searchid=5196561

This topic has been not only done to death, it`s been dug up countless times since.

Summary of discussions to date, and answer to the op.

1. Many (most) guys here have some kind of SO.
2. Of course it is "cheating", if you have doubt, ask your wife. Most consider it not as bad as an affair that includes "emotional cheating" but again your SO may argue about this.
3. Most feel guilty in some way, but feel it is justified for a variety of reasons.(e.g. Complete lack of sex / intimacy/ attention at home, specific sexual needs that are ignored etc). We all must ultimately answer to our own moral compass- right or wrong.

And finally, some holier than thou type (unattached) will post shortly on how all of the attached guys are bastards, whi.e ignoring the fact that they too are engaged in an activity that much / most of mainstream society sees as wrong / immoral. And another (unattached) will come on posting that guys who cheat with escorts should man up and get a divorce.

 

[frankcastle]

Here is a start.

https://terb.cc/vbulletin/search.php?searchid=5196561

This topic has been not only done to death, it`s been dug up countless times since.

Summary of discussions to date, and answer to the op.

1. Many (most) guys here have some kind of SO.
2. Of course it is "cheating", if you have doubt, ask your wife. Most consider it not as bad as an affair that includes "emotional cheating" but again your SO may argue about this.
3. Most feel guilty in some way, but feel it is justified for a variety of reasons.(e.g. Complete lack of sex / intimacy/ attention at home, specific sexual needs that are ignored etc). We all must ultimately answer to our own moral compass- right or wrong.

And finally, some holier than thou type (unattached) will post shortly on how all of the attached guys are bastards, whi.e ignoring the fact that they too are engaged in an activity that much / most of mainstream society sees as wrong / immoral. And another (unattached) will come on posting that guys who cheat with escorts should man up and get a divorce.

Excellent synopsis.

Basically guys fall into four main categories
1) attached and hobby
2) choose to be single and hobby
3) don`t want to be single and hobby
4) between SOs and hobby
5) transitioning between the above mentioned and hobby

in the grand scheme of things it`s probably wrong but if you are okay with where you are on the scale and understand the risks you are taking that`s what is important.

 

[Sanders1]

Just like Dexter, I know that one of these days I will have to stop - but until then, I will need to satisfy these urges.

Dexter's sister caught him in the act,

 

[paulman77]

Hmmm an interesting conversation. I can't speak for other gents here but for me, as odd as it sounds, I spend time with these ladies in order to be a better husband to my wife. Perhaps I am justifying my cheating ways but I am not looking for another relationship, simply a way to take care of my needs without tipping the boat at home. My wife and I have a lovely marriage but our sex life has been declining over the past few years. I have tried romanticizing her with flowers and jewlerry and bath oils but she doesn't seem to be as interested in sex anymore. I love her dearly and she knows my sex drive hasn't lessened in any way. I'm not sure how else to tackle this. I get what I need for now and am hopeful that my wife will find me desireable again in the future.

Just a thought - maybe she doesn't understand you're asking for sex when you try to shower her with gifts, flowers, jewellery, etc etc. My ex just didn't get it until one day I decided to have a frank talk with her. She seemed confused at first but after that she understood, but she still didn't change after the talk. I guess some women just don't see the correlation. Maybe you should ask her directly because she might not be aware that's what you want. If she says yes then all the better, you get your wish. If she's still not interested well then, you have your answer and you can carry on the hobby without having doubt.

 

[freestuff]

Guys will do what they want (i.e what their penises tell them) and then deal with the guilt afterwards in their own ways.

I think a harder call is if you found out if your mother/aunt/sister/niece/good female friend's husband/boyfriend was seeing escorts, would you say anything? What if you found out your brother/father/uncle/nephew/best male friend's wife/girlfriend was an escort, would you say something?

 

[simon482]

this thread is gonna be a shit load of guys trying to justify cheating on their wives and betraying that trust. that's all this thread will be though, is a bunch of guys trying to make their guilty conscience go away.

 

[Swallowme]

financially speaking, its better than divorce....oh and if i was gettin it at home...it might be different...but then again theres sooo many beautiful women out there...and soooo little time

i thought i had a copyright to that statement!! lol

well said

 

[milehigh]

If the woman you are with it truly worth it, don't fuck it up.

 

[frankcastle]

this thread is gonna be a shit load of guys trying to justify cheating on their wives and betraying that trust. that's all this thread will be though, is a bunch of guys trying to make their guilty conscience go away.

I can see both sides but it's wrong to cheap on the SO and not many excuses justify it. On the other hand I can't fault someone for cheating as I'm certainly not perfect.