"Hobbying" - Is there going back once you start?

[james t kirk]

I suppose it depends on the individual. I've been hobbying off and on for 14 years now. A lot of the time I wasn't hobbying was the time when I was in a serious relationship; I didn't find it particularly hard to stop hobbying while I was in that relationship.

Agreed.

 

[BigBlueBobby]

You can always quit but why would you?

 

[freestuff]

99% of guys who start: (1) can never leave the "hobby" (they'll take breaks but will always come back to it - it's like finding a "cheat switch" on life) and/or (2) will never be the same and/or will view women differently (it's inevitable; you might not want to subconsciously, but when you see a beautiful/hot girl, you'll wonder if she's a SP and how much it will cost to fuck her and it won't be just a fantasy).

 

[barrowing]

"I would rather be ruined by hundreds of incredible sexual experiences with a few bad ones thrown in,if you call it being ruined.It beats.
1) We need to talk.
2) My mother is coming over this weekend
3) Why don't you enjoy shopping
4) You don't love me anymore
5) If you had 3 kids you would be fat too
6) All you think about is fishing
7)I'm going to talk to our doctor about you visiting porn sites
8)You expect me to do all the Christmas shopping on 5 K !!!!! (true statement)
9)We need to go see a therapist
10) All you do is watch TV
11)The teacher parent meetings are tonight
12)We need to go to costco
13)Your lucky to get a 3 minute BJ on your birthday and you want to cum in my mouth!!!!!Fuck you
14) Your freind was cheating on his wife.I want your phone on GPS so I can trust you
15)I was doing the laundry and I found 160 $ in your pockets !! What was that for!!!!
16)Why do you think you can make plans to go away fishing with your freinds WITHOUT talking to me FIRST!!
17)Your sleeping on the couch! (thank god)
18) I'm going to take you for everything you've got.( freedom is invaluable,so go ahead)
19 )You will have the kids every other weekend ( the sad part,but quality time)
20)Your divorce is granted ( imagine the freedom!!)"

Those are hilarious, but oh so true!

 

[GotGusto]

underice's post is a crowning achievement, a product of truth and wisdom. TERB Post of the Year.

 

[WoodPeckr]

It's an addiction.
Once you start you are hooked....

 

[farang]

It's very very hard to stop. Why? Because it is that good. If you know you have an addictive personality you should really evaluate whether you want to jump into this game. I have had many addictions, including heroin, and this is one has been by far the hardest to quit. And it is way way expensive, makes drugs look cheap.

 

[Spacewalker]

And it is way way expensive, makes drugs look cheap.

Agreed. The only other addiction more expensive would be gambling itself. Heck, even I've been guilty of hitting the casino with hopes of winning some extra money for hobbying with SP's. MPA or simply more money for lap dances at the strip clubs LOL Sadly, with my experience I've also lost thousands of dollars over the years because of my true demon which was gambling. Personally, gambling was my biggest weakness. A broken engagement resulted with my ex-fiancee because of this serious problem of mine. Would gladly trade "problem hobbying" with "problem gambling" any day of the week!

 

[Ceiling Cat]

I am licensed to thrill! I hobby under another identity. When I put in my 30 I will retire, but for now I am a ...........................................

 

[McBeebs]

Original poster

Hello,

First, thanks for all the answers. I am really impressed with this community on TERB. As one guy said, of course you are biased, but almost all of you have tried to give me an objective answer. And for that I thank you.

Well, I have still not decided, but now I have more info to go on. I'll take my time, I think.

Some thoughts raised by some of the replies:

- I have never been addicted to any substance or behaviour. So I guess that's a positive, in a sense. Unless visiting SPs proves to be the addiction that undoes me. But you can't go through life like that, worrying about shit in advance.

- I can't just "not worry about it and do it anyways". I'm 34, which means I am not ready to give up on relationships. And it puts me at a different stage than some of you guys. I guess if I was in my 50's, this really wouldn't be a difficult choice. And it would be an awesome one.

- Regarding the statement that SPs will ruin "civilian" women: well, I'm 34, so the eligible women I am bound to date are not over the hill just yet (ages 25-30). That might be the alleviating factor. But it won't help if they suck in bed, so the argument holds.

- Asked by one poster: no, I do not see one-night stands as crossing the line, but it's not quite the same thing, isn't it? It's not so readily convenient, nor fast. And I do not see seeing escorts as a weakness, or I wouldn't be here.

- underice's post is absolutely brilliant! A bit angry at his ex, perhaps, but brilliant nonetheless.

Thanks again, you guys are awesome and you gave me a lot to think about. And you made me realize that even if I decide not to do it now, there's plenty of time...

 

[Swallowme]

Best of the posting i have ever ever read on this or any other board.

lol

I would rather be ruined by hundreds of incredible sexual experiences with a few bad ones thrown in,if you call it being ruined.It beats.
1) We need to talk.
2) My mother is coming over this weekend
3) Why don't you enjoy shopping
4) You don't love me anymore
5) If you had 3 kids you would be fat too
6) All you think about is fishing
7)I'm going to talk to our doctor about you visiting porn sites
8)You expect me to do all the Christmas shopping on 5 K !!!!! (true statement)
9)We need to go see a therapist
10) All you do is watch TV
11)The teacher parent meetings are tonight
12)We need to go to costco
13)Your lucky to get a 3 minute BJ on your birthday and you want to cum in my mouth!!!!!Fuck you
14) Your freind was cheating on his wife.I want your phone on GPS so I can trust you
15)I was doing the laundry and I found 160 $ in your pockets !! What was that for!!!!
16)Why do you think you can make plans to go away fishing with your freinds WITHOUT talking to me FIRST!!
17)Your sleeping on the couch! (thank god)
18) I'm going to take you for everything you've got.( freedom is invaluable,so go ahead)
19 )You will have the kids every other weekend ( the sad part,but quality time)
20)Your divorce is granted ( imagine the freedom!!)

Not all marriages are like above,but even among those that survive ,can not 90 % of those statements be accurate at one point?

Now let's be a hobbyist.

1) Who am I going to fuck and have a PSE session with this weekend?
2) Yes, I'd love to come in your mouth,and on your face.
3) You know what,I'm still horny give me another BJ
4) Is the duo interactive
5) How many days will the image of two good looking Asian gals simultaneously sucking my cock last in my mind?
6) Hey guy's ,we can't leave to go fishing until noon.I need to go to BBE and get serviced,it's a long drive to Geraldton.
7)God,that's 7 count them,9/10 girls in a row.
8) Why do I feel so healthy?
9) You know ,I been having so much 10 plus sex that I'm the horniest I've ever been and I'm over 50
10) I really do get lonely once in a while,but some of my married freinds are lonely AND miserable.
11) If I was addicted to sex,umm this is nice.
12) Escorts cost money,so I will earn more(motivational)
13) Ooohhh the pleasant thoughts I have that no one can take from me.


Both lists could go on for a very long time.I've lived both lives.Happiness can be found in marriage.Ecstasy can be found and SUSTAINED with escorts,just as long as you keep yourself fit enough to fuck hundreds of women of your choice.And even if you don't keep yourself fit you ca stilll have the best women you can imagine.

So if this is being ruined,I will take it.

 

[fmahovalich]

The problem with starting...and I would suggest not....is that you will compare your normal relationship sex with S.P sex.....AND ITS NEVER THE SAME...or if it is ..its short lived!

Remmeber..we are wired to explore...to find....to hunt.....


DO NOT START!!!! I BEG YOU

 

[big.guy_13]

I think I want to quit. But I eventually come back to it. It's just so much simpler than dating or trying to pick up.

 

[rateyourescort]

I think that once you start there is still hope. But your new girlfriend will have to be pretty damn good! Still though, I think hobbying and relationships are apples and oranges. Hobbying is pretty "mechanical" and if you can make this distinction then maybe you should be fine...

Hello everyone,

I am new to this forum and am considering crossing over to the dark side, by I have a pretty major concern.

I have always been very faithful in all my relationships. It's as if a switch goes off, and although I may find other women attractive (and do, always), there is no question of cheating, even flirting. So I have never cheated, on anyone.

So, now that my marriage is over and having no moral dilemmas or financial problems I am considering sleeping with some willing beautiful women. However, every time I work myself up to do it I panic at the last moment. The point is this:

Will doing this irreversibly change my view of women, relationships, and fidelity?

It is important for me to be the same in any future relationship, ie a faithful, loving partner. I would like to think that getting sexual satisfaction like this while being single does not set a precedent for cheating in the future (simply put, b/c it's not cheating). However, being male I do not have a high opinion of the male mind regarding stepping back from readily available sexual gratification, once the line has been crossed.

Any opinions / experiences would be greatly appreciated. Many thanks.

 

[GotGusto]

Hobbying is not a substitute for a real relationship. It's a substitute for the hunt and sex - casual sex, marriage sex, girlfriend sex. A relationship with a female is much more than sex. Find me a young, mature, hot, financially independent woman, who can maintain a committed relationship, who likes to cook, and I'll "marry" her [not legally].

 

[GotGusto]

^^^

Luck is exactly what I need. I'm not married because I haven't found a woman with all the above traits. By "happy mix" I think you mean finding a compromise. You're probably right.

 

[GPIDEAL]

Hello everyone,

I am new to this forum and am considering crossing over to the dark side, by I have a pretty major concern.

I have always been very faithful in all my relationships. It's as if a switch goes off, and although I may find other women attractive (and do, always), there is no question of cheating, even flirting. So I have never cheated, on anyone.

So, now that my marriage is over and having no moral dilemmas or financial problems I am considering sleeping with some willing beautiful women. However, every time I work myself up to do it I panic at the last moment. The point is this:

Will doing this irreversibly change my view of women, relationships, and fidelity?

It is important for me to be the same in any future relationship, ie a faithful, loving partner. I would like to think that getting sexual satisfaction like this while being single does not set a precedent for cheating in the future (simply put, b/c it's not cheating). However, being male I do not have a high opinion of the male mind regarding stepping back from readily available sexual gratification, once the line has been crossed.

Any opinions / experiences would be greatly appreciated. Many thanks.

If you get overly sexually-frustrated or tired of the dating scene, eventually you may give in to the hobby. But do so in moderation (not like me, lol).

It is addictive, but if you find the right girlfriend, you should be able to ween yourself (hopefully, entirely) or at least do it rarely.

 

[simon482]

do none of you guys have any willpower at all ?

 

[Serendipity]

If you have a history of having an addictive personality, don't start!

Good advice.....I wish someone would have warned me!

 

[The Cunning Linguist]

You seem to think paying for sex (even when single) is wrong. When you're dating, you are still paying for sex, except it's much more subliminal. Hell, even when you're married, you are paying for sex. Now is the time to feast at the buffet, with no guilt.

Don't confuse your need for companionship and friendship and loyalty for sex.

You sound like someone with a strong moral compass, because you even asked this question. My opinion is once you've had your fill of being single, and meet the right person, being unfaithful won't ever cross your mind. (unless that relationship goes in the toilet as well).