Hobby desensitization?

[Mandalorian]

I have been enjoying this hobby for almost 20 years and when I look back at the start of this I remember easily getting hard and cumming just from a simple fully clothed HJ. Nowadays, more and more I’m finding the need to have her dirty talk me, do more raunchy things just to get me revved up. Even conventional porn is not cutting it.

Like all good things in life, the more I enjoy something the more desensitized I get. Anyone else experiencing this? What are you doing about it? I have been abstaining for longer periods of time but I still enjoy a nice lady’s company, enjoy daty and dfk but getting me to cross the finish line is proving to be a challenge. Yes, I use the blue pill as well.

 

[blakealridge]

yeah, you might want to look into yourself to figure out what it is you're truly seeking. this sounds like an emotional problem that needs to be addressed. whatever hole you're trying to fill (I know I know I know I walked right into that one) is getting bigger.

 

[Darts]

Like all good things in life, the more I enjoy something the more desensitized I get.

Same old, same old. Even tried a little bit of light bondage. Have you tried doing it on University Avenue in full public view?

 

[poker]

I have been enjoying this hobby for almost 20 years and when I look back at the start of this I remember easily getting hard and cumming just from a simple fully clothed HJ. Nowadays, more and more I’m finding the need to have her dirty talk me, do more raunchy things just to get me revved up. Even conventional porn is not cutting it.

Like all good things in life, the more I enjoy something the more desensitized I get. Anyone else experiencing this? What are you doing about it? I have been abstaining for longer periods of time but I still enjoy a nice lady’s company, enjoy daty and dfk but getting me to cross the finish line is proving to be a challenge. Yes, I use the blue pill as well.

This is worth a watch…

 

[Mr Deeds]

You might want to take a break for a while, that seemed to work for me

 

[Mr Bret]

I think it comes and goes in waves. The same old same old syndrome is probably also a factor.
You've been at this for 20 years, so possibly age could be starting to be another factor. Or maybe you're not as fit as you used to be.
So many possibilities for what could be at play here.
If you're a MP guy, maybe try a different style of MP (semi-legit, holistic, body rub, even legit) or even try some escort experiences.
And if you're a SP guy, maybe try some MPs.
Or maybe a different style or ethnicity of provider.

The good news is that there are endless options in the GTA.

 

[RskyBiz]

This is a great topic! I am finding myself desensitized in a way as well. I'm a regular Allure guy and always love the variety and never really had a regular. Now that I'm older, I'm leaning towards looking for a regular girl that I really connect with and enjoy low mileage fun! I have tried HFH as they just opened a location closer to me in Mississauga, but found the ladies to be motivated to upsell that the 'standard' massage sucks. I thought maybe if I continued to go to Allure and find another place it might help with the 'desensitized' feelings I have. My question, is there a place that is like Allure in the GTA? I'm new here and wish that I joined or at least looked at the reviews in the past after about 20 years in the hobby!

 

[standupguy]

I have been enjoying this hobby for almost 20 years and when I look back at the start of this I remember easily getting hard and cumming just from a simple fully clothed HJ. Nowadays, more and more I’m finding the need to have her dirty talk me, do more raunchy things just to get me revved up. Even conventional porn is not cutting it.

Like all good things in life, the more I enjoy something the more desensitized I get. Anyone else experiencing this? What are you doing about it? I have been abstaining for longer periods of time but I still enjoy a nice lady’s company, enjoy daty and dfk but getting me to cross the finish line is proving to be a challenge. Yes, I use the blue pill as well.

Firstly, the Blue Pill was a BIG problem for me. Getting across the line became close to impossible for me when using it. (A similar thing happened whenever I was on SSRI anti-depressants.) I had other problems with the blue pill, including major headaches during sex, so I had to stop that. I switched to Caverject injections, which (if you can get over the initial fear issues) solved both problems at once. No more side effects, consistent erections and back to normal issues with crossing the finish line.

Unfortunately, age is a big factor too. So over the years, crossing the finish line has become more and more difficult and now in my mid 60's it takes forever if at all, including with specific porn showing only my preferred "acts". If you look at the research, this is normal. It just gets more and more difficult. Also, apparently the "window" to cum in gets shorter. So if you go for longer without cumming, you then take yourself out of the "window" and it becomes next to impossible.

To be clear though, this was always an issue for me (crossing the finish line) and while it used to be a big asset, it is now a bit of a hassle. So now I mostly only cum during penetration with first time dates, and even then only certain (type) women. Mostly I go for an hour or two and then take care of business myself manually at the end (hopefully with cim).

Not much you can do about advancing age, lol. Good luck!

 

[RskyBiz]

Firstly, the Blue Pill was a BIG problem for me. Getting across the line became close to impossible for me when using it. (A similar thing happened whenever I was on SSRI anti-depressants.) I had other problems with the blue pill, including major headaches during sex, so I had to stop that. I switched to Caverject injections, which (if you can get over the initial fear issues) solved both problems at once. No more side effects, consistent erections and back to normal issues with crossing the finish line.

Unfortunately, age is a big factor too. So over the years, crossing the finish line has become more and more difficult and now in my mid 60's it takes forever if at all, including with specific porn showing only my preferred "acts". If you look at the research, this is normal. It just gets more and more difficult. Also, apparently the "window" to cum in gets shorter. So if you go for longer without cumming, you then take yourself out of the "window" and it becomes next to impossible.

To be clear though, this was always an issue for me (crossing the finish line) and while it used to be a big asset, it is now a bit of a hassle. So now I mostly only cum during penetration with first time dates, and even then only certain (type) women. Mostly I go for an hour or two and then take care of business myself manually at the end (hopefully with cim).

Not much you can do about advancing age, lol. Good luck!

Thanks for sharing! I have found myself lately taking care of business myself manually at the end. I still enjoy it as I love being watched. Still, so nice to not have to do it yourself.

 

[Sonic Temple]

Great thread - I still have no issues (funds is really the only issue ) releasing as I love the company of these SP's. I know its coming but all I can do is maintain a healthy diet and try to exercise as much as I can to enjoy this beautiful hobby of ours.

 

[jcpro]

For a good while now, I've been picking appointments by location. I just can't be bothered to drive downtown or the East or the North end. I never used to do that.

 

[escortsxxx]

I have been enjoying this hobby for almost 20 years and when I look back at the start of this I remember easily getting hard and cumming just from a simple fully clothed HJ. Nowadays, more and more I’m finding the need to have her dirty talk me, do more raunchy things just to get me revved up. Even conventional porn is not cutting it.

Like all good things in life, the more I enjoy something the more desensitized I get. Anyone else experiencing this? What are you doing about it? I have been abstaining for longer periods of time but I still enjoy a nice lady’s company, enjoy daty and dfk but getting me to cross the finish line is proving to be a challenge. Yes, I use the blue pill as well.

In my case I been spoiled by good sps. The fact that some sps are really good and many are good at one or another stuff. Like having good food your tastes change to match. As a kid a bad kiss and a bad bj where fine even desired but now I rather have a good meal.
And the fact is that there are also lots of sps who are the Popeyes of SW. People just want to show up and the minimum is fine.
Anyway you should mix it up more if your getting bored - maybe keep one girl ony for a change.

 

[oral.com]

Firstly, the Blue Pill was a BIG problem for me. Getting across the line became close to impossible for me when using it. (A similar thing happened whenever I was on SSRI anti-depressants.) I had other problems with the blue pill, including major headaches during sex, so I had to stop that. I switched to Caverject injections, which (if you can get over the initial fear issues) solved both problems at once. No more side effects, consistent erections and back to normal issues with crossing the finish line.

Unfortunately, age is a big factor too. So over the years, crossing the finish line has become more and more difficult and now in my mid 60's it takes forever if at all, including with specific porn showing only my preferred "acts". If you look at the research, this is normal. It just gets more and more difficult. Also, apparently the "window" to cum in gets shorter. So if you go for longer without cumming, you then take yourself out of the "window" and it becomes next to impossible.

To be clear though, this was always an issue for me (crossing the finish line) and while it used to be a big asset, it is now a bit of a hassle. So now I mostly only cum during penetration with first time dates, and even then only certain (type) women. Mostly I go for an hour or two and then take care of business myself manually at the end (hopefully with cim).

Not much you can do about advancing age, lol. Good luck!

Age is a bitch, I’m mid 60’s too, blue pill works for me, hate the side effects especially the acid reflux.
I’ve always been a little slow to cross the line, and V does not help. I recently concluded its a mental thing. I try to relax more and just enjoy the experience. Orgasm eventually happens, and I don’t stress about it anymore. I’m also able to cum more than once in a hour too, which is new. The mind is a funny organ.

 

[Josephine Grey]

I have been enjoying this hobby for almost 20 years and when I look back at the start of this I remember easily getting hard and cumming just from a simple fully clothed HJ. Nowadays, more and more I’m finding the need to have her dirty talk me, do more raunchy things just to get me revved up. Even conventional porn is not cutting it.

Like all good things in life, the more I enjoy something the more desensitized I get. Anyone else experiencing this? What are you doing about it? I have been abstaining for longer periods of time but I still enjoy a nice lady’s company, enjoy daty and dfk but getting me to cross the finish line is proving to be a challenge. Yes, I use the blue pill as well.

Same with me an porn. Started full vanilla and 20 yrs later, after I come, I trully wonder wtf I just watched.

Same with anything like you said. I don't think you can do anything about it other than lowering your expectations about getting off absolutely.

 

[Ponderling]

I also put a note in my daytimer calendar a few weeks before any planned outing declaring I am entering a no-fap zone.

 

[Mandalorian]

Great discussion. Thanks for all of you who took the time to reply. Yes I’m past my mid-50’s and am pretty fit, exercise regularly and have a bunch of hobbies and interests. I posted here mainly because I feel like I’m falling into a habit of seeking sessions with SPs and MPAs whenever I have time (which is sporadic) and not when I truly really want to orgasm. Also I have a pretty regular provider who I’ve almost become friends with and I think I’m getting a little too used to our sessions. The last two sessions with her took a lot of effort for me to reach the finish line to the point where she accused me of not liking her anymore, which is the farthest from the truth.

The Blue pill’s main side effect with me is that I tend to get flushed and my heart rate accelerates, which is not very fun. Also I find I’m very sensitive to random thoughts during the act. Example: I can get really into a girl but if I glance at the clock and realize time is getting sparse, I start worrying about her being late for the next appointment and I start losing enjoyment. Sometimes a random comment from her will do it as well. Wtf lol.

 

[Goodoer]

Great thread. Searching for the dragon is tough[ you can go down weird paths.

I need the DFK + dirty talk to cum. I crave it. The SPs appearance could be anything and anyone and I'll be fine. I'm middle-aged; as I get older I realize I'm into everyone as long as they have a fun personality and want to fuck. My TikTok feed proves it.

I'm not on the Blue Pill, and I can spank it out 2-3 times per day religiously. I cannot cum with my wife during our 5 times/year sex sessions (for at least a decade now). She just doesn't bother to get me worked up. 15 years earlier and I'd grab her by her hair and cream pie her short-skirted pussy with someone 10ft away.

With SPs, I've lately been scared with my performance as I found myself thinking about COVID while having sex. Boner killer. I got the job done, but it takes the fun away. With SPs, there may not be enough time to break through the mental barrier.

 

[Goodoer]

Same with me an porn. Started full vanilla and 20 yrs later, after I come, I trully wonder wtf I just watched.

Same with anything like you said. I don't think you can do anything about it other than lowering your expectations about getting off absolutely.

Ya, baby. I'll count that as dirty talk.

 

[Mandalorian]

Great thread. Searching for the dragon is tough[ you can go down weird paths.

I need the DFK + dirty talk to cum. I crave it. The SPs appearance could be anything and anyone and I'll be fine. I'm middle-aged; as I get older I realize I'm into everyone as long as they have a fun personality and want to fuck. My TikTok feed proves it.

I'm not on the Blue Pill, and I can spank it out 2-3 times per day religiously. I cannot cum with my wife during our 5 times/year sex sessions (for at least a decade now). She just doesn't bother to get me worked up. 15 years earlier and I'd grab her by her hair and cream pie her short-skirted pussy with someone 10ft away.

With SPs, I've lately been scared with my performance as I found myself thinking about COVID while having sex. Boner killer. I got the job done, but it takes the fun away. With SPs, there may not be enough time to break through the mental barrier.

Yeah, it’s a constant battle to remain focussed and not think of dumb things like Covid that just kills the boner. 15 years ago I could have banged my wife, then drive to my favourite spa and cim with a hot lady within an hour. Nowadays I absolutely need dfk (and if she breath stinks I can’t complete) and daty for me to get revved up. Getting old sucks.

 

[massman]

You are only a bit older than me, and I’ve had some similar issues a few years back. Things do change in our bodies and in our minds, those things you have to roll with. 20 years ago when I started this I had a memorable hour long session with a popular EE girl who insisted on getting 3 shots out of me in an hour, and I still knocked one out after she left because the memory was so hot! On the other hand, my orgasms now are way stronger, even if it takes a while longer to get to the finish. For me the inability to finish occasionally led to more pressure to finish, which then became a vicious circle. In my case some meds I was taking were also likely a contributor (SSRI). (So look at your meds and see if there are any culprits, and talk to your MD). That led to a worry about not being able to finish, which then sabotaged the whole thing.

What helped was a few things.
1. when planning an SP visit, abstain from any activity for several days.
2. Plan a visit where you will have sufficient time, so the clock is not a source of pressure. This includes planning the appointment time so you don’t have the pressure to rush back to work/ home immediately after.
3. Avoid alcohol the day of.
4. Don’t hold off too long, and miss the golden moment, you might not get it back. You may try to avoid cumming too soon, but that is preferable to not at all.
5. If you are having trouble finishing, stop what you are doing, and switch to something that is not focused on your orgasm for a bit. Eg kissing, oral on her etc. I find this has allowed me to get back on track by “starting over” with foreplay.
6. Take the pressure off. Realize that even if you don’t cum, it’s still fucking awesome to have some naked fun with a hot girl. Just by relieving yourself of that pressure you may find it easier to finish.

Basically go with the flow. Be less “goal directed” in bed. Cum quick and spent the rest of the session cuddling, making out, massage etc. Do this for a few sessions. Going at it hard and fast is pretty hot sometimes, especially if your partner is into it too. This will let you get a few “wins” under your belt and then worry less, the worry and lack of confidence that you will be able to cum and pressure to finish is deadly.

The blue pill isn’t going to make you cum more readily, but may make it less likely for the worry of taking too long leading to loss of erection (pressure to cum so far is the only thing to give me trouble with staying up). Tho if it’s causing distracting side effects, it may be counterproductive. Maybe other ED meds will be better tolerated.

There may, like you speculate, a component of desensitization, but some of this can be undone by focusing on the pleasure of more “vanilla” activity. Get back into more conventional porn, and take time enjoying that. That is easier to do with less pressure on yourself to perform.