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He's so ugly... She's so stupid...

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H

happygrump

Once more into the breach
May 21, 2004
820
0
0
Waterloo Region
I'm looking for the best insults that TERBites can come up with.

He's so ugly...
  • the had to tie a pork chop around his neck so the dog would play with him;
  • he has to sneak up on a glass of water;
  • he makes his living out of haunting people;
  • at halloween, people say, "Wow, excellent mask, dude!" but he isn't wearing a mask...

She's so stupid...
  • she couldn't find her ass with both hands and a flashlight;
  • she thinks "stool softener" is for furniture;
  • that when she walks her earrings knock together;
  • it takes her two hours to watch Sixty Minutes...
 
S

shack

Nitpicker Extraordinaire
Oct 2, 2001
51,350
9,946
113
Toronto
He's so ugly, when he was born the doctor slapped his mother.
 
WhaWhaWha

WhaWhaWha

Banned
Aug 17, 2001
5,989
1
0
Between a rock and a hard place
She's so stupid ......
* SHE CALLED ME TO GET MY PHONE NUMBER.
* SHE SPENT 20 MINUTES LOOKING AT THE ORANGE JUICE BECAUSE IT SAID "CONCENTRATE."
* SHE PUT LIPSTICK ON HER HEAD BECAUSE SHE WANTED TO MAKE UP HER
MIND.
* SHE SORTS HER M&M'S IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER.
* SHE SENT ME A FAX WITH A STAMP ON IT.
* SHE TRIED TO DROWN A FISH.
* SHE GOT LOCKED IN A GROCERY STORE AND STARVED TO DEATH.
* SHE TRIPPED OVER A CORDLESS PHONE.
* SHE ASKED FOR A PRICE CHECK AT THE DOLLAR STORE.
* SHE STUDIED FOR A BLOOD TEST.
* SHE THOUGHT MEOW MIX WAS A CD FOR CATS
 
WhaWhaWha

WhaWhaWha

Banned
Aug 17, 2001
5,989
1
0
Between a rock and a hard place
He's so Ugly
* Burn victims send him money
* Stephen Speilberg is impressed
* His mother is having her cataracts put back in
* His mirrors cry at night
* Bigfoot collects pictures of him
 
S

Spode

Banned
Feb 13, 2004
2,348
0
0
54
He's So studpid

He'd fuck up a handshake
 
S

Spode

Banned
Feb 13, 2004
2,348
0
0
54
She's So Ugly

She fell from the top of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down
 
WhaWhaWha

WhaWhaWha

Banned
Aug 17, 2001
5,989
1
0
Between a rock and a hard place
He's so ugly noone will kidnap him for fear the "missing" ad will sour the milk.
He's so ugly, Jerry's Kids kick him back 10 percent of their take.
He's so ugly he crushes Beer cans on his forehead hoping for improvement.
He's so sloppy he was fired from his construction job due to his appearance.
He's so fat when he sat on a quarter a booger shot out of the Mooses nose.
He's so ugly he has to beat his feet to go to bed with him."
He's so ugly he has to sneak up on a glass of water to get a drink.
He has a head like a stomped possum.
He's so ugly you'd chew off the free arm just to make sure.
He's so ugly his stickhorse threw him.
He's so ugly he has to sneak up on a mirror.
He's so ugly the tide won't take him out.
He's so ugly his mama takes him everywhere so she won't have to kiss him goodbye.
He's so ugly he looks like he was pulled through a knothole backwards.

She's so stupid, she thinks a menstrual cycle is manufactured by Honda.
She's so stupid, she heard it's chilly outside so she got a bowl.
She's so stupid, she watches "The Three Stooges" and takes notes.
She's so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.
 
B

Bobzilla

Buy-sexual
Oct 26, 2002
1,957
177
63
59
He's so stupid blondes have jokes about him...
 
B

blitz

New member
Nov 25, 2003
1,488
0
0
Toronto
Substitute "Yo Momma" for "He's so" or "She's So" and you've got a party

www.mommajoke.com
 
L

littleboyblue

not your average John!
Feb 9, 2004
125
0
0
Toronto
WhaWhaWha said:
He's so ugly, Jerry's Kids kick him back 10 percent of their take.
Click to expand...
Hey! I need that 10 percent to hobby!
 
S

Sabuk

New member
Nov 12, 2002
401
0
0
happygrump said:
He's so ugly...

at halloween, people say, "Wow, excellent mask, dude!" but he isn't wearing a mask...
Click to expand...
Stop bringing back hurtful memories :(
 
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