Help! Help! I'm Drowning......

[Willywants]

......in limericks today!
My head has been full all day! A mere sample follows:

I need to know what to do
I met the woman who lives in a shoe
She was shaved nice and neat
But she smelled like her feet
And that's why I'm coming to you!

I met a radiant Miss
Who asked me to give her a kiss
Not on the lips of her mouth
But the ones further south
And now she is living in bliss!

Don't know what's wrong with me today
It seems everything I say
Comes out two at a time
In a silly rhyme
Do you think Hallmark might pay?

I once knew a man named Willy
Whose penis was really a dilly
There were some raves and some rants
As he put it back in his pants
After screwing his girlfriend silly!

Once they start, I have a hard time stopping them! Maybe life is finally turning into the poem I thought it to be!

Shit, here's another one!

I once knew a girl named Miranda
Who stepped out on the veranda
She undid her shirt
And lifted her skirt
How the boys all loved Miranda

And another!

There once was a lady named Jenn
Who came once, twice and again
She had a great smile
Then went another mile
Sweetheart just say where and when!

Please help me outta here!

Willywants (is trying to get into party mode!)

 

[shack]

There was a young lady named Alice
Who used a dynamite stick for a phallus
They found her vagina in South Carolina
And part of her anus in Dallas

 

[Girth]

There was a man called Dave
Who kept a dead whore in a cave
He said "I admit
I am a bit of a shit
But think of the money I save".

 

[JohnC]

Small things small minds I guess

 

[pool]

thoughts of dicks and thingys

Troops: Hickory Dickory dock........what a useless fucking thread.

What a useless fuckin' post.

JohnC: Small things small minds I guess

I'd like to say the irony in this is amusing, but it's too pathetic.

 

[aslan]

willy- you gave me wrong information

I was asking you who that sexy lady with a mole on her chin.

she wore a low top with gold strings (fur) dangling down, You told me she is a writer.

I don't think so. She was dancing a lot before midnight. Her dress is black.

Can you find out who she is ?

Thanks for sharing your fun time with me.

Do u remember the guy who bought me Coke the whole night ?

Forget his name. Nice guy. Want to find out more about hologram in midair ??

 

[pool]

Troops:Seems like you are at odds with me. You should try listening to yourself once in a awhile, moron. Don't let the oh henry bar hit you upside your head when you're taking a dip in the pool Mr.POOL.

Hypocrite!!!!!!

Why did you take my post personally ? the post you quoted was a general statement relating to a trend I've noticed on the board, not only in the lounge, but in the TO massage section as well. That thread just happened to be the one that I decided it was time to vent.

My point was, if you don't like someones posts, you can use the ignore function, just like you can do to me ...

As for your comment on Willy's thread, it pretty much follows the same vein. If you don't like something, don't read it, but making asinine comments in someone's thread who you know nothing about and I consider a reputable poster, somehow pisses me off.

Of course I'm a hypocrite, isn't everyone to an extent ?

Actually, I wasn't at odds with you ...

 

[QB7]

back to the limericks

Have to get this thread back on topic.

With apologies to elaine

A lady on TERB named Elaine
Liked a bit now and again.
Not now and again
But now and again
And again and again and again.

Tried to think of something for Domenique and Bobbi but the only words that came to mind were "hobby" and "knobby"...........

Hey Willy maybe you can finish this one after all.

Cheers
QB7

 

[Jade4u]

There was a young lady named Alice
Who used a dynamite stick for a phallus
They found her vagina in South Carolina
And part of her anus in Dallas

ha ha Now that is funny. OUCH

 

[i_am_good]

my turn willy...

Your story unfolds in this post.
The limmerick that I like the most
Is the one 'bout Miranda.
Her sexy veranda.
To her, let's all raise up a toast.

 

[Mikehorn]

Whatever happened to Willy? Has anyone heard from him?

 

[WhOiSyOdAdDy?]

There once was a man named Ray
Who fashioned a cunt out of clay
But the heat of his prick
Turned the clay into brick
And tore all his foreskin away

----------------------------------------------------------

There was an old woman from leith
Who would circumcise men with her teeth
It wasn`t for fame,
or love of the game
but to get at the cheese underneath.

---------------------------------------------------------

There once was a lady named Dot
Who lived off of pigshit and snot.
When she ran out of these
She ate the green cheese
That she grew on the sides of her twat.

--------------------------------------------------------

I'm told of a Bishop of Birmingham,
Who buggered young boys while confirming them,
To roars of applause,
He tore down their drawers,
And pumped the episcable sperm in 'em.

-----------------------------------------------------

There was a young lady from Kew
Who said, as the bishop withdrew,
Oh, the Vicar is quicker
And thicker and slicker
And four inches longer than you.

---------------------------------------------------

The Duchess when pouring the tea,
Asked "Do you fart when you pee?"
I replied with some wit,
"Do you belch when you shit?"
And I think that was one up to me

--------------------------------------------------

A soldier known only as Sarge
Had sex with a hooker named Marge
Though only a grunt
He assaulted her cunt
And gave her a hon'rable discharge.

------------------------------------------------

There once was a girl from Sidney
Who could take it right up to her kidney
But a guy from Quebec
Shoved it up to her neck
He had a long one, now didn't he.

 

[drlove]

I don't think he's back... someone just resurrected an old thread.

 

[Terry66]

there once was a man from nantucket
who had such a long d**k he could suck it
he said with a grin
as he wiped off his chin
if my ear was a c**t i would f**k it

sorry........could not resist

 

[Goober Mcfly]

If you want to see an un-rated version of Terry66's post (above):

1. Print out his post
2. Print out this:
***** **** *** * *** **** *********
*** *** **** * **** *ic* ** ***** **** **
** **** **** * ****
** ** ***** *** *** ****
** ** *** *** * *un* * ***** *uc* **
3. Find an exterior window, or a lamp
4. Overlap the two printouts, and hold them up to the light
5. Laugh heartily

 

[pussylicker]

For a young guy who just joined the hobby,
Calling on the hot babe known as Bobbi,
On bed covered by fleece,
They would travel to Greece,
He'd have the thrill of his life with his knobby.

When I found a girl named Dominique,
Who's picture my curiosity did pique,
As I felt her warmness,
She got down to business,
And I was pleased with her wonderful technique.

I once had a great lover named Kim,
A redhead who was hot tall and slim,
Well I'm part of her past,
As I f**ked her too fast,
Now she's seeing a big guy named Jim

Travelling west on a gambling train,
Sam met a lady who was causing him pain,
So as he played poker,
He asked "Could he stroke her?",
What relief as she said yes time and again.

A farmer who liked ladies who hair was red,
Started a session where the SP quickly said,
My price may be cheap,
But I'm not your sheep,
So get your damn clippers out of the bed.

There once was a priest named McVitty,
Who hated the taste of the clitty.
Near schools he would trod,
For young boys he could prod,
With the end of his junior McBitty

 

[Scorpion King]

I just couldnt resist...

This got me searching back to my earlier posts too so I happened upon this thread.

https://terb.cc/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=20895

Does anyone have anything to add to it? Some posts are quite funny.

SK - August, 2006.

I once new a girl named Stace
She liked to take jizz on her face
When I whipped out my rod
She said Oh My Gawd
Cuz her throat did not have the space

*****************************

I once met a sweet lass from China
She had such a tiny vagina
I tried pushing in
But she wouldnt grin
Now everyone calls me a whina

*****************************

I once had a thread about shit
I dont know what happened to it
I`ve searched high and low
Where it went I dont know
So I rant of the hair in your pits

*****************************

I once met a girl from Hong Kong
She gasped at the sight of my dong
I still tried to screw `er
I fingered and blew `er
But she said `you pecka too long`

*****************************

Just as I pulled off my rubber
She answered the call from her mother
So I squeezed out my load
All over her nose
And now I`m no longer her lover

SK.

 

[Jade4u]

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm let's see the evidence please.

 

[Scorpion King]

Happy 5th Birthday TERB

Stacey & Hard Idle... I hate you guys for doing this to me!!!!

TERB's celebrity roast continues....

*********************************

Let's start with the website of TERB
I have a cute little blurb
I gave em a ring
Proved I'm The King
Though everyone thinks it's absurd

*********************************

Next there's the man known as Beau
To the ladies he'd constantly go
Til he woke up one day
Discovered he's gay
Now his sessions are only so-so

*********************************

Then there's Goober McFly
Dont know if he's girl or a guy
As I sit on my fanny
I'll guess he's a tranny
As he stares in the mirror and asks why!

*********************************

Then there's one called The Shiek
Who I suspect is likely a geek
Patrols all the boards
Bangs girls by the hoardes
Now his pecker does constantly reek

*********************************

Gotta mention PHNINE
A handle for which there's no rhyme
Word on the street
Says he likes to take meat
And gives all a very good time

*********************************

An honourable mention to Meesh
Who I pray will leave me in peace
Deleting my threads?
Just after their read?
So I wear a muzzle and leash

*********************************

And lastly the one Mr. Zed
Without whom my hobby'd be dead
Call me a shill
Y'all probably will
Though your heads are all full of lead

*********************************

For those I've forgotten or missed
I'm sure you're probably pissed
Please dont be mad
You should really be glad
Cuz you surely would have been dissed

*********************************

Of course the best is for last
My posts are always a blast
I talk about Shit
Farts, Cum & Spit
And people scratching their ass

*********************************

SK.

 

[Just Lurking]

Still missing that cheeky little monkey Miss Taylor? Here's a nice little song for you.



(Dum-dum-dummy doo-wah, ooh yay, yay, yay, yeah)
(Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh-ah-ah, only the lonely, only the lonely)

Only the lonely (Dum-dum-dummy doo-wah)
Know the way I feel tonight (Ooh yay, yay, yay, yeah)
Only the lonely (Dum-dum-dummy doo-wah)
Know this feeling ain't right (Dum-dum-dummy doo-wah)

There goes my baby, there goes my heart
They're gone forever, so far apart
But only the lonely know why I cry--only the lonely
(Dum-dum-dummy doo-wah, ooh yay, yay, yay, yeah)
(Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, ooh-ah-ah, only the lonely, only the lonely)

Only the lonely (Dum-dum-dummy doo-wah)
Know the heartaches I've been through (Ooh yay, yay, yay, yeah)
Only the lonely (Dum-dum-dummy doo-wah)
Know I cry and cry for you (Dum-dum-dummy doo-wah)

Maybe tomorrow a new romance
No-o-o more sorrow, but that's the chance
You've got to take, if your lonely heart breaks
Only the lonely (Dum-dum-dummy doo-wah

Um, is that a limerick?