He said/She said

[happygrump]

What she says: No, nothing's wrong, I'm fine.
What she means: I'm really pissed off, and you have to guess why.

What he says: You look great in that outfit.
What he means: Let's have sex.

What she says: I'll be with you in a minute.
What she means: Grab a beer and turn on the game, I'm gonna a while.

What he says: That's ok, sweetie, take your time.
What he means: You looked fine three outfits ago and seven pairs of shoes ago. Can we just go already???

 

[red]

when she says "Fine" then you have to look out

 

[TheNiteHwk]

What she says: I'll think about it.
What she means: Forget it. Not on your life.

 

[Meesh]

She says: Whatever YOU want, darling.

She means: You have to GUESS what I want, and God help you if you're wrong!

 

[Meridian]

Why she says: Do I look fat?
What she means: You better say I'm not, otherwise I will kill you.

 

[healer677]

He says - "you look great!"
He means - Let's have sex

He says - "i'd love to go over to your friends housewarming."
He means - Threesome?

He says - "i'll be home soon"
He means - i'll come home at 4 am, drunk and horny

He says - "i've got stuff to do at work."
He means - i'd rather drive around aimlessly just so not to come home

 

[pineappleguy]

She says - "What do you want for dinner?"
She means - "I already know what I want - you have to guess."

She says - "But I like it better down there."
She means - "You're never getting another blowjob for the rest of your life."

She says - "I don't know what I want for dinner."
She means - "Take me out to dinner."

She says - "I'm going to bed now."
She means - "you'd better come to bed right now if you want to get laid."

 

[maxim4]

she says: i enjoy your company
she means: i like the free meals and entertainment

she says: i want to be respected for my mind
she means: I know I am sexy....stop staring at my breast

she says: I do not kiss on the first date
she means: YOU are not getting a second date

she says: I will call you
she means: if you call me first I will call the cops

 

[ham2004]

she says: Its ok to go out with your friends tonight, honey
she means: Forget about going out, you have to sit at home and be as bored as I am.

she says: get the hell out of my sight
she means: go out have some fun, I want to go out with the girls

she says: and don't f**king come back.
she means: you better not leave this house or I will kill you.