Have you or would you ever try a "live in FWB"? (Sharing my experience)

[GGGDickson]

Aligning needs is what often makes the world go 'round (e.g my boner-her rent lol; although I never did that style lol). But needs are not fixed, so once they change, the misalignment becomes problematic. I think we are often overly optimistic. Think about the beginning of any relationship you've ever had - they all ended but your current one(s).

I think one needs to go in with perspective - many blokes feel entitled. I never did. I appreciated my lady FWB's but understood it, and felt it a bonus. This way I enjoyed it thoroughly whilst i could, knowing that plug could be pulled at any moment. I think if you feel entitled or have too much self esteem then it becomes messy.

I also feel honesty helps. I had a few FWBs in the various parts of the world I was travelling, but never led them to think we were dating, or something more serious. And of course never pushed these ladies about what relationships they had outside of me. Thus I'd get to LA, ring up my friend, take her to dinner, and let it end up where it does (or London, or Sydney, Washington, or Hong Kong, or Mexico city lol). But, once I got serious w someone in NYC, I let the ladies know that and that we'd no longer have that same type of relationship - and to a woman they all thanked me for the honesty and stayed friendly over the years.

Your a better man that me. My 'dates' came to hate me. They wanted a new roof on their house or new toilets and not another fancy dress or another trip. They grew tired of my 'over the top' adventures. One said I was a gown up giving her candy and as she got to like it I would take it away to give it to another. I never asked for free services although a number offered it. I told them I had to pay them. I never wanted them to feel I was taking advantage of them.

I find honesty is bullshit. They do not want honesty they wanted to hear what they wanted to hear. Kherg007 I can relate to a lot of what you are saying. It sounds like we lived similar lifestyles.

In all fairness I was paying for the emotion to feel like we were dating and we would play out that we were more serious. Matter of fact with Rio, Catherine, Lauren it was a game to see how many people we could get to believe we were a couple. It was harmless fun. Too have a complete stranger to tell us we are the perfect couple or to comment about how in love we looked was a rush!. Crazy but it was fun. Over the years it has gone from pure sex to so much more.

Is it wrong to want to see tears of joy in a providers eyes?

 

[GGGDickson]

but in this case, hers is a necessity of life while yours is arguably a want, not a need. That turns it and changes it to a power dynamic. One that can be used abusively and one that could pray of marginalized women.

This is why a straight exchange of money for sex is better. She has choice of what do use that money for, when she wants/needs to make that money and is usually is compensated at a better rate.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying this happens every time but it happens enough that women need to be warned against things like this.

My dear I have had that thought. I try very had to never turn my situation with a provider into an abusive situation. I make it very clear with each provider that she does only what she wants to do. I do not force them into situations where they feel they have to do something they do not want to do.

For me it is a exchange of money for our time together and not necessarily exchange money for sex. Yes she can use the money for things she needs in her life. I also like to give her things to make her feel special. My goal is for her to say "Best date ever" "Best birthday ever", "best trip ever!" I want to leave her feeling amazing then I can feel amazing. I learned over the years i am a pleaser.

So I have been known to take some providers who have had a hard time and try to rescue them for a night or a day or a weekend or even a few months. I want them to feel special to live out a fantasy that they other wise would never experience. It bothers me when a provider tells me she gave up dreaming because it will never happen. I try to make it happen. If I can over lay multiple fantasies that is even better.

Crazy I know but I am crazy.

 

[Jasmina]

It sounds like they decided to make you their main source of income instead of supplimenting some income. Their loss, they got geedy and ruined a mutually good thing.

Hot story though!

Your a better man that me. My 'dates' came to hate me. They wanted a new roof on their house or new toilets and not another fancy dress or another trip. They grew tired of my 'over the top' adventures. One said I was a gown up giving her candy and as she got to like it I would take it away to give it to another. I never asked for free services although a number offered it. I told them I had to pay them. I never wanted them to feel I was taking advantage of them.

I find honesty is bullshit. They do not want honesty they wanted to hear what they wanted to hear. Kherg007 I can relate to a lot of what you are saying. It sounds like we lived similar lifestyles.

In all fairness I was paying for the emotion to feel like we were dating and we would play out that we were more serious. Matter of fact with Rio, Catherine, Lauren it was a game to see how many people we could get to believe we were a couple. It was harmless fun. Too have a complete stranger to tell us we are the perfect couple or to comment about how in love we looked was a rush!. Crazy but it was fun. Over the years it has gone from pure sex to so much more.

Is it wrong to want to see tears of joy in a providers eyes?

 

[kherg007]

but in this case, hers is a necessity of life while yours is arguably a want, not a need. That turns it and changes it to a power dynamic. One that can be used abusively and one that could pray of marginalized women.

This is why a straight exchange of money for sex is better. She has choice of what do use that money for, when she wants/needs to make that money and is usually is compensated at a better rate.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying this happens every time but it happens enough that women need to be warned against things like this.

Yes that's true I think I found myself mired in nostalgia lol. Yes, that sort of power mismatch (fun vs roof over head) is ripe for exploitation. In fact one of my ex gf back in oz was on a student then a training visa to stay in oz, then she got into a common law w a bloke and he was a dick - and would often drop statements to her like " i reckon you don't want that green card anymore" any time she stood up to him. That was odious incarnate, and to me psychological/emotional abuse. So youre spot on jenesis.

 

[GGGDickson]

Yes that's true I think I found myself mired in nostalgia lol. Yes, that sort of power mismatch (fun vs roof over head) is ripe for exploitation. In fact one of my ex gf back in oz was on a student then a training visa to stay in oz, then she got into a common law w a bloke and he was a dick - and would often drop statements to her like " i reckon you don't want that green card anymore" any time she stood up to him. That was odious incarnate, and to me psychological/emotional abuse. So youre spot on jenesis.

Yes Kherg007 I can relate. I saw a provider in Toronto Anna who was trying to get her Canadian Citizenship and her PR was coming to an end. She wanted me to help her but I did not want to get involved for that very reason. She ended up getting a lawyer in Calgary who took her money but never got the citizenship. I felt bad but I was not going to marry her for real. That would be a nightmare. I did take her back to Europe but once she got back to Russia I never saw her again as I could never go back to Russia. I saw her for over two years paid her by the visit. I learned later she was a Russian Porn star. I wondered if that has something to do with her getting status in Canada.

I never wanted her to think I would hold it over her head. In the end maybe I should have had my lawyer assist her with her application. I did hear from her she sent me some photos of her getting ganged bang telling me I made a big mistake.

 

[GGGDickson]

It sounds like they decided to make you their main source of income instead of supplimenting some income. Their loss, they got geedy and ruined a mutually good thing.

Hot story though!

Karma is a bitch!

I laugh at those providers over the years who try and nickel dime me for services. It is extra for a kiss etc... I think of what they could have got if they just play along.

I hate feeling like a human ATM. When a provider quotes a price but when they learn of me they raise their rates. Lauren Ross learned that when we were going to meet in Toronto. She raised her rate vs what she had on line. I was pissed and brought Fiona to Toronto instead. Lauren learned her lesson and used a different ploy to invite herself to San Francisco. She weaved her magic and turned me into a $100,000 client not to mention trips, spa treatments, clothes, shoes, jewelry. However in the end after three years I paid her $5,000 for a birthday event but in the morning she wanted another couple grand. I knew it was over.

Greed is a crazy thing. Some providers push it and I do not push back I just disappear. I took one lady shopping and she found a sweater she liked. She had me buy 5 cashmere sweaters. I never saw her again. Or the lady I bought her a red BMW convertible but was pissed off because it was not candy apple red. WTF is candy apple red? I did not even let her drive it I sold it the next day and I walked away from her. Some providers just don't get it!

 

[TheQuestion]

@Everyone
I appreciate the comments. At the same time, I feel some you guys are not attributing these women agency hence you assume that it is "picking on' vulnerable women. When this isn't necessarily the case. Some women are not vulnerable at all but rather some are actively looking for these types of arrangements. I had women who had no issue with this since they rather spend their shopping than to paying rent every month.

Extra observations/details;
1-This woman told me that her landlord uses to pressure her to pay her and was very obnoxious. Meanwhile, she told me, "You don't seem to care about money."
2- When she was living with her BF, he was very controlling. He would call her all the time and checking her. Meanwhile, she told me, "You never call, never text, I'm the one reaching out."
3-Her male roommates not only would not only not let her bring guess(to show that this common, most people don't want guests, it is not something I made up.")But they also gave her a tiny space, she had to sleep on a couch put room dividers and it got either too hot or too cold at night. Despite this, the roommates still charging her a considerable amount of money for that. Meanwhile, when she stayed with me she had her room and have both AC and heaters.
4-She stayed at a "model house' with other models at the house of a club promoter. This place was dirty and crowded. Also in exchange, the promoter made her come out with him almost every night mostly for hours. Of course, there he and his friends would try to hook up with her. Meanwhile, when she stayed with there's no job/obligations. She told her friends, "He understood when I wanted to be left alone."

I am confident, that I am offering a lot more than these guys. They seem to offer little and want a lot in exchange. There's something beautiful about this type of arrangement. I understand that most guys are not like me, but they can learn. I feel it takes the right type of woman who is open-minded and doesn't get attach easily to pull it off.