Has any members got caught by their SO? If so, possible to share ?

[jsmitty1344]

As title reads, I got caught yet again and now going through a separation. I don’t hobby much at all, maybe 1-2 times a year, it’s definitely not the main reason, the marriage as been garbage for years. How did you cope? Was it amicable ? Still communicating with ex? Not looking for advice on how to reconnect, guess I’m asking for tips to get through it.
Thanks

 

[Jenesis]

As title reads, I got caught yet again and now going through a separation. I don’t hobby much at all, maybe 1-2 times a year, it’s definitely not the main reason, the marriage as been garbage for years. How did you cope? Was it amicable ? Still communicating with ex? Not looking for advice on how to reconnect, guess I’m asking for tips to get through it.
Thanks

Get a good lawyer. Do your research on that lawyer. Pay for a couple consults from different lawyers to see which one is the best fit for you and what you want going forward.

Do not leave the material home and if you do, continue to pay half the mortgage, home insurance and property tax

If kids are involved, don’t wait to be ordered to pay support. Start paying now, have your lawyer calculate what your rate should be.

Start requesting access to your kids.

Document EVERYTHING. Meaning by text or email only for all communication going forward.

Do not bad mouth your ex, her family, etc in front of your kids, or anyone she knows for that matter.

Just a few things off the top of my head before my morning coffee.

 

[Charlie_]

You only hobby 1-2 times a year and have been caught twice? How? You need more practice!

 

[jsmitty1344]

You only hobby 1-2 times a year and have been caught twice? How? You need more practice!

Over the years. Lol but like I said, this isn’t the only reason.

 

[jsmitty1344]

Get a good lawyer. Do your research on that lawyer. Pay for a couple consults from different lawyers to see which one is the best fit for you and what you want going forward.

Do not leave the material home and if you do, continue to pay half the mortgage, home insurance and property tax

If kids are involved, don’t wait to be ordered to pay support. Start paying now, have your lawyer calculate what your rate should be.

Start requesting access to your kids.

Document EVERYTHING. Meaning by text or email only for all communication going forward.

Do not bad mouth your ex, her family, etc in front of your kids, or anyone she knows for that matter.

Just a few things off the top of my head before my morning coffee.

That’s being done, going through mediation atm and things are going quite well. She wants a clean split, I can see kids at any time, she doesn’t want much in terms of equity or lump sum payments. Just the support payments and such. Idk, does this sound tgtbt?

 

[Jenesis]

That’s being done, going through mediation atm and things are going quite well. She wants a clean split, I can see kids at any time, she doesn’t want much in terms of equity or lump sum payments. Just the support payments and such. Idk, does this sound tgtbt?

Yup.

Not to say this can’t happen but it sounds TGTBT. It often starts amicable but can and does change quite quickly.

As for equity or lump sum, it doesn’t work that way really. There is a standard division of assets.

Even with mediation I would be going to a lawyer. If you haven’t. Some do mediation with one at all, but I would personally never doing anything with courts or contracts without a lawyer.

 

[jerbear15]

That’s being done, going through mediation atm and things are going quite well. She wants a clean split, I can see kids at any time, she doesn’t want much in terms of equity or lump sum payments. Just the support payments and such. Idk, does this sound tgtbt?

Yeah it does sound legit. My friend got divorced and his former wife had no issue with him spending time with his kids and only wanted child support.

 

[Jenesis]

Yeah it does sound legit. My friend got divorced and his former wife had no issue with him spending time with his kids and only wanted child support.

He was very fortunate.

Did they own a house? Can’t see how she only wanted supported and not the house, if they owed.

 

[rhuarc29]

Bad enough to be caught once, let alone twice! Was it laziness, carelessness or ignorance?
To be fair, I've never been married and I don't hobby when dating a civvie, so I've never had to worry about this.

 

[Charlie_]

Over the years. Lol but like I said, this isn’t the only reason.

Please tell us how you got caught, twice, so we can learn from your mistakes.

 

[jsmitty1344]

Please tell us how you got caught, twice, so we can learn from your mistakes.

He was very fortunate.

Did they own a house? Can’t see how she only wanted supported and not the house, if they owed.

we own our house a few other properties. So she does get one but the agreement from the start was if we ever split, any assets made during our marriage would go to th kids. So she will live in one of the properties and keep up the payments.

not much left on it tho, so it’s good for her and th kids.

 

[jsmitty1344]

Please tell us how you got caught, twice, so we can learn from your mistakes.

Bad enough to be caught once, let alone twice! Was it laziness, carelessness or ignorance?
To be fair, I've never been married and I don't hobby when dating a civvie, so I've never had to worry about this.

Extreme carelessness. I gave her my phone thinking I was on private tabs on my search engines. First time I was dimed out by someone who I thought was a friend because he got caught.

what’s done is done, can’t change the past. Like I said , marriage wasn’t good for years so this was inevitable.

 

[ottawa_cuck]

Jerk off. Sex leads to nothing but problems.

 

[jsmitty1344]

Jerk off. Sex leads to nothing but problems.

true, but it feels so much better. But I digress

 

[jerbear15]

He was very fortunate.

Did they own a house? Can’t see how she only wanted supported and not the house, if they owed.

They had a house and I'm not sure how they split it.

 

[jsmitty1344]

Yup.

Not to say this can’t happen but it sounds TGTBT. It often starts amicable but can and does change quite quickly.

As for equity or lump sum, it doesn’t work that way really. There is a standard division of assets.

Even with mediation I would be going to a lawyer. If you haven’t. Some do mediation with one at all, but I would personally never doing anything with courts or contracts without a lawyer.

Agreed, I will be going to my lawyer to review the separation agreement

 

[johnd5050]

true, but it feels so much better. But I digress

Yes it feels good, wait till your bank account is empty.

 

[johnd5050]

They had a house and I'm not sure how they split it.

Sell the house and split the proceeds.
She takes her money, he gives it to his lawyer.
Problem solved. Good Luck

 

[Robert Mugabe]

Not with a hooker, but back in the day when VHS was new and my live in girlfriend and I rented videos, she went away for a week and I rented some porn. The store filled in the details of our account and rentals in pen and paper. Next time we went to rent some chick flick for her, they left the book open and she caught eye of the entries. "what's this?" she said. "Black lust? Teenage Anal Asian cheerleaders? We didn't rent this!"
That was mildly embarrassing.

 

[johnd5050]

we own our house a few other properties. So she does get one but the agreement from the start was if we ever split, any assets made during our marriage would go to th kids. So she will live in one of the properties and keep up the payments.

not much left on it tho, so it’s good for her and th kids.

I have heard a lot of dumb crap in my life, but you get the gold medal for stupidity.