This is a highly dubious statement at best ... I know plenty of men who do not even come close to thinking logically (if they think at all).
Had to smile about being rejected
- Thread starter poorboy
- Start date
I have a simple question to all of you fellow male TERB posters out there -- why do you even bother approaching complete strangers with the expectation that you will get anything other than (at most) friendly conversation?
IMHO, people (both male and female) have a natural distrust of strangers and would prefer to keep conversations to strangers to a polite minimum. If you really want to have a chance to "strike" a relationship, or even a one-night fling, the best bet is through a personal connection, either through work, mutual friends, hobbies you participate (such as a book club), charities, etc.
IMHO, people (both male and female) have a natural distrust of strangers and would prefer to keep conversations to strangers to a polite minimum. If you really want to have a chance to "strike" a relationship, or even a one-night fling, the best bet is through a personal connection, either through work, mutual friends, hobbies you participate (such as a book club), charities, etc.
Well, you need to consider the odds or probabilities of whether a woman will be interested in you. If the odds are not too small, then eventually an exhaustive search of this nature will yield positive results.If you're bent on going through the traditional route, you can't be concerned about rejection. Even "playas" get rejected. They just don't care and go on to the next female of interest. Throw enough at the wall, something will eventually stick.
My view however is whether such efforts are really worth it, since it will take considerable effort for the other individual to loosen their guard and come to trust you. If your goal is simply to make new friends (male or female) then perhaps it is worth it; for anything more, I have my doubts.
If that's the case of these particular men, then they have bigger problems than simply talking to women.This is a highly dubious statement at best ... I know plenty of men who do not even come close to thinking logically (if they think at all).
Good Heavens! That sounds like like a page right out of the uber conservative, polite Canadian handbook.I have a simple question to all of you fellow male TERB posters out there -- why do you even bother approaching complete strangers with the expectation that you will get anything other than (at most) friendly conversation?
IMHO, people (both male and female) have a natural distrust of strangers and would prefer to keep conversations to strangers to a polite minimum. If you really want to have a chance to "strike" a relationship, or even a one-night fling, the best bet is through a personal connection, either through work, mutual friends, hobbies you participate (such as a book club), charities, etc.
I have no problems talking with complete strangers any more than I have with them talking to me. I encourage it and invite it. Isn't that what we human beings do, communicate with each other? If you depend in only personal connections to meet people, then you're putting yourself in a tiny box and you'll meet very few interesting people, if any.
I have approached women in every city I have ever traveled to and it has always been reciprocated positively. Maybe sex wasn't involved (often it was, very lucky me) but dinner, drinks, a walk in an interesting place, all this things came to fruition.
I have found that Toronto is the worst city for approaching women. They act as if they're special or unapproachable. Fine, go home to your cats, macaroni & cheese and McAmerican Idol. I find that women that are not from a Canadian background are the more open ones. This is a tried and true experience for me. Latino/Hispanic, Asian, African, Middle Eastern, European. Basically, any woman who had to learn English as a second language is sweeter, more polite and more interesting than unilingual, Canadian women.
I also don't believe for a second that it's human nature to distrust strangers. I'm a stranger to all those I don't know and I'm not planning on screwing them over when I meet them. (You all know what I mean.)
I've even had flings simply because I said 'Hello' without expecting anything. Go figure!
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When you go to the washroom do you take the urinal right beside the next guy if there are other open urinals?
When in the elevator with one other person do you crowd the person?
She took the furthest seat away from you because that's just normal protocol.
You took the time to figure out that she might be single and benched yourself because of the wrong assumption. Granted even if you talked to her probably nothing would have happened but as they say you miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
When in the elevator with one other person do you crowd the person?
She took the furthest seat away from you because that's just normal protocol.
You took the time to figure out that she might be single and benched yourself because of the wrong assumption. Granted even if you talked to her probably nothing would have happened but as they say you miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
So let me get this straight, you didn't even say hi and you call that being rejected? Weak.Fairly regularly, I order take out from a sushi restaurant. After I placed my order, I sat in one of the chairs to wait for my pickup. There is no separate waiting area and no lobby in this restaurant. The waiting area is to the backs of the customers at the sushi bar.
In walks a petite blonde in her yoga pants and t shirt. No ring on her finger, about 5'2" to 5'4", and slim to average build with a A to B cup. I'd place her at a 7. Girl next door look. She sits down one seat over from me to select from the menu. I'm reading the paper while waiting. She goes up and places her order. Order sounds like it is for one.
After gathering that she is probably single, I decide that when she sits back down, I'll try and strike up a conversation with her. I put down the paper as she walks by and she walks past her original seat to the seat farthest away from me.
I take it as a clear sign she doesn't want to be approached. I don't know why, but I found myself sitting there and smiling to myself and then went back to reading the paper.
Master Don..You always crack me up. I know she wasn't your SO by the picture you sent me last week that's why I approached. She is a tad smaller than your SO. If i have any doubt I will always ask you first before I do anything. Damn.. she kept popping up in my head quite a few times, so is your SO's picture.Was that you? Way to go you horndog!!
I'm not the 'boyfriend' but I was @ the T&T shopping as well with my SO. She wanted to make me dinner last night. A feast, but that's another story.
I saw this guy chatting up a lady at the food counter and I said to my SO: "I bet that guy is using the suggestions technique in order to talk to that lady. Then my SO said: "When her husband or boyfriend shows up, he'll be very surprised. He better order soon".
So I though it was funny that you should mention the same thing I witnessed.
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BTW, I'd rather get an straight up 'no' than bullshit. I much prefer the clarity over the run around. Women think they're being polite when they give you a false number or e-mail instead of saying 'no' on the spot which is the mature and clear thing to do.
When a man discovers he's been duped with a fake number, e-mail or even if speaking to the girl say says no, after the fact, for whatever reason, this perpetuates the seed of distrust in men towards all women.
I wish women appreciated how they're damaging their entire sisterhood when they're not clear about a simple answer to a sincere question.
The very first step you should do is be friendly and outgoing. I knew you are friendly and confident. But she didn't think so. In this case, she labeled you as a gutless and unfriendly creepy guy. Now let me explain why.Fairly regularly, I order take out from a sushi restaurant. After I placed my order, I sat in one of the chairs to wait for my pickup. There is no separate waiting area and no lobby in this restaurant. The waiting area is to the backs of the customers at the sushi bar.
In walks a petite blonde in her yoga pants and t shirt. No ring on her finger, about 5'2" to 5'4", and slim to average build with a A to B cup. I'd place her at a 7. Girl next door look. She sits down one seat over from me to select from the menu. I'm reading the paper while waiting. She goes up and places her order. Order sounds like it is for one.
After gathering that she is probably single, I decide that when she sits back down, I'll try and strike up a conversation with her. I put down the paper as she walks by and she walks past her original seat to the seat farthest away from me.
I take it as a clear sign she doesn't want to be approached. I don't know why, but I found myself sitting there and smiling to myself and then went back to reading the paper.
You checked her out for a few second while she's reading the menu and placing the order. Would you say something if she's not a 7 but 4? Would you say hello if she's a fat middle-age woman? What would happen if it's a guy? If you would ignore them and pretent they were not there, you didn't show your friendly side. You ONLY try to be nice to the girl because she's attractive. The girl pretty much felt the same way. If she's an attention whore, maybe you still had a chance. But your lack of confidence killed everything. You knew you were gathering all the information. She felt you were gathering enough courage. Do you think that makes you look good? The solution is be friendly to EVERYONE so that when you say hello to a pretty girl she will be less suspicious.
3 second rules bro, got to approach within the first 3 second or else you look like a creep staring and analyzing her.
The picture wasn't my SO. I'll send you a PM.Master Don..You always crack me up. I know she wasn't your SO by the picture you sent me last week that's why I approached. She is a tad smaller than your SO. If i have any doubt I will always ask you first before I do anything. Damn.. she kept popping up in my head quite a few times, so is your SO's picture.
If she looks over and smiles and says hi, then there is a reasonable chance.
If she doesn't even notice that you exist, don't waste your time.
If she doesn't even notice that you exist, don't waste your time.
First of all, in my personal experience, I do not believe that women in Toronto are more unfriendly than women in other cities -- they are simply more reserved and a little more suspicious, characteristics in common from people in many large metropolitan areas, such as London or New York.Good Heavens! That sounds like like a page right out of the uber conservative, polite Canadian handbook.
I have no problems talking with complete strangers any more than I have with them talking to me. I encourage it and invite it. Isn't that what we human beings do, communicate with each other? If you depend in only personal connections to meet people, then you're putting yourself in a tiny box and you'll meet very few interesting people, if any.
I have approached women in very city I have ever traveled to and it has always been reciprocated positively. Maybe sex wasn't involved (often it was, very lucky me) but dinner, drinks, a walk in an interesting place, all this things came to fruition.
I have found that Toronto is the worst city for approaching women. They act as if they're special or unapproachable. Fine, go home to your cats, macaroni & cheese and McAmerican Idol. I find that women that are not from a Canadian background are the more open ones. This is a tried and true experience for me. Latino/Hispanic, Asian, African, Middle Eastern, European. Basically, any woman who had to learn English as a second language is sweeter, more polite and more interesting than unilingual, Canadian women.
I also don't believe for a second that it's human nature to distrust strangers. I'm a stranger to all those I don't know and I'm not planning on screwing them over when I meet them. (You all know what I mean.)
I've even had flings simply because I said 'Hello' without expecting anything. Go figure!
Second, as for your view that non-Canadians are sweeter or more friendly, that has not always been my experience personally. Granted, many immigrants were very friendly and approachable, but not necessarily more so than unilingual Canadians.
Third, I believe it is human nature to have a certain level of suspicion to strangers, especially those strangers who are clearly not of one's own ethnicity or culture. After all, I am personally a little wary (even a little suspicious), at least initially, when strangers approach me, and I don't believe that I am in way unusual or particular in this regard. Depending on how that stranger behaves subsequently, my behaviour will change -- if the stranger seems especially warm, friendly or interesting, I will let down more of my guard and start to relax and engage this stranger.
Finally, I am not in any way suggesting that one should not approach strangers and initiate conversation -- I am only stating that your expectations should be low, and you should not expect anything beyond polite conversation. If your goal is to seek and find a relationship, going through personal connections will increase your likelihood of hitting things off, because you can spend less time "breaking the ice" due to someone vouching for you.
I disagree.First of all, in my personal experience, I do not believe that women in Toronto are more unfriendly than women in other cities -- they are simply more reserved and a little more suspicious, characteristics in common from people in many large metropolitan areas, such as London or New York.
Second, as for your view that non-Canadians are sweeter or more friendly, that has not always been my experience personally. Granted, many immigrants were very friendly and approachable, but not necessarily more so than unilingual Canadians.
Third, I believe it is human nature to have a certain level of suspicion to strangers, especially those strangers who are clearly not of one's own ethnicity or culture. After all, I am personally a little wary (even a little suspicious), at least initially, when strangers approach me, and I don't believe that I am in way unusual or particular in this regard.
If your goal is to seek and find a relationship, going through personal connections will increase your likelihood of hitting things off, because you can spend less time "breaking the ice" due to someone vouching for you.
Fine, let's be gentlemen here, and agree to disagree.I disagree.
I agree.Fine, let's be gentlemen here, and agree to disagree.
