Got Fucked Over

[drlove]

So, I met what I thought was a really nice woman for once on POF... great personality and super hot (think Demi Moore in "Disclosure") Anyway, our first date lasted until 2:30am... went really well. In the days that followed, lots of phone calls with her making tentative plans for "the future", so to speak.

Second date ended up with us making out in her car. At this point I'm thinking, this may have potential, so I followed up with an offer to go out again that coming Friday. Well, she waited until Friday evening to get back to me and made up some lame excuse about her wanting to do Kareoke with her friends. I thought whatever, since I had already made other plans with a few of my buddies. She asked if I wanted to join her, but I politely declined since I was at a friend's place having a few drinks. Since she was going away that weekend, we made plans to talk again when she got back.

I called her on Tuesday, left a short message asking if she wanted to go out again, but heard nothing. At this point, I'm not even going to bother... I think one of my female friends was right when she said this chick was just using me to get a few nights out on the town for free. This sucks!

 

[Stoo]

It's been a while since I've done much dating, but isn't this how most "relationships" end up? A couple of nights out, someone decides it isn't what they want, end of story.

Sorry you got dumped, but don't be a putz. Move on...

 

[Malibook]

I think one of my female friends was right when she said this chick was just using me to get a few nights out on the town for free. This sucks!

If she is not into you, it is hardly free.

 

[maurice93]

Drama Queen

 

[drlove]

It's been a while since I've done much dating, but isn't this how most "relationships" end up? A couple of nights out, someone decides it isn't what they want, end of story.

Sorry you got dumped, but don't be a putz. Move on...

I suppose, but again this girl went out of her way to give me the signals that she was interested. Add to that, she mentioned repeatedly that she was interested in a developing a meaningful relationship, wasn't interested in playing games etc, when in reality it was just the opposite! I ended up getting played by her. I prefer a more honest approach - this ended up being a waste of my time and money.

 

[The Oracle]

The thing is that if she's that hot she's probably seeing more than you.Women are always looking for the BBD (bigger better deal). At this point she's just not convinced it's you. Either that or she's going to call you tonight and f@#k your brains out. Time will tell.

 

[Stoo]

I suppose, but again this girl went out of her way to give me the signals that she was interested.

Jesus man... So things started off OK for both of you. As she got to know you better, she changed her mind. Women do that. Maybe your dick is too small. Did you figure that she decided she wanted to marry you and have your babies on the first date?

It's not like you were married for 20 years and then she announced she didn't love you anymore.

You sound like a 14 year old. You lost what, two evenings and $100 on dinner? Get over it.

 

[Back Burner]

dr. love,

I read your post a few times because I wanted to make sure I had your story right. Are you really angry because things didn't go your way and move as quick as you liked? Dude, get a grip. She may be dating 5 other guys or maybe just you. Take it easy and let things happen and don't get so pissy when a chick doesn't pick up the phone and call you back. Shit, she may have 100 different things on her mind besides you.

Remember she had a life before she met you.

Be cool.

 

[enduser1]

I suppose, but again this girl went out of her way to give me the signals that she was interested. Add to that, she mentioned repeatedly that she was interested in a developing a meaningful relationship, wasn't interested in playing games etc, when in reality it was just the opposite! I ended up getting played by her. I prefer a more honest approach - this ended up being a waste of my time and money.

That sucks. Sigh, but it happens.

EU

 

[drlove]

dr. love,

I read your post a few times because I wanted to make sure I had your story right. Are you really angry because things didn't go your way and move as quick as you liked? Dude, get a grip. She may be dating 5 other guys or maybe just you. Take it easy and let things happen and don't get so pissy when a chick doesn't pick up the phone and call you back. Shit, she may have 100 different things on her mind besides you.

Remember she had a life before she met you.

Be cool.

No... I suppose I'm just disappointed that it's so difficult to actually meet a genuine, normal caring woman and have it go somewhere, that's all. I've been on countless dates where things didn't work out for one reason or another, and I was well aware that this chick was probably seeing other guys - that's not the issue. However, you'd think that eventually things would go your way for once. I just needed to vent.

 

[Back Burner]

No... I suppose I'm just disappointed that it's so difficult to actually meet a genuine, normal caring woman and have it go somewhere, that's all. I've been on countless dates where things didn't work out for one reason or another, and I was well aware that this chick was probably seeing other guys - that's not the issue. However, you'd think that eventually things would go your way for once. I just needed to vent.

It's not difficult. You forgot to add one thing. A woman that you're really attractive to. I'm sure there's a few out there that are genuine, normal, and caring but the attraction isn't there so you're not interested.

 

[Captain Fantastic]

She's just not that into you...

 

[addicted2whiskey]

Back Burner's advice is right on the money. Chalk this one upto experience and move on. You may have a PhD in Pussyology but that will only work for you in the bedroom. Women are people, believe it or not! It sounds like you haven't dated much... I was like that at one time. It took me a considerable amount of time to get over this one girl I went out on 5 dates with. She was everything I wanted and we really had good chemistry. She then tried to make every attempt to break up with me without giving me a reason. All I wanted was a reason.... I soon found out she had met someone who she didn't necessarily have any chemistry with but he was doing much better than me careerwise. The funny thing is that years later she's not 1/10 as hot as she used to be and I'm doing much better than the dude she left me for. I guess what I'm also saying is that things work out for the best. I don't mean to brag but after having had a ton of experience dating I've discovered better options and I am a more confident person for it. I really want to marry my current girlfriend who I think is my true soul-mate. Perhaps, in the very least what I have to say here serves as food for thought.

 

[drlove]

It's not difficult. You forgot to add one thing. A woman that you're really attractive to. I'm sure there's a few out there that are genuine, normal, and caring but the attraction isn't there so you're not interested.

Agreed. I've had some women interested in me who I wasn't attracted to and vice versa. However, that wasn't the issue here. She told me she was attracted to me physically and I told her the same thing. I think it had more to do with her wanting the "bigger and better deal", as someone here mentioned. Oh well... time to move on.

 

[Disturbia]

Sorry to see that you are upset. Don't be!

You just wanted to bang her, right? I'm not trying to side anyone, but I think she is really looking for a serious relationship. And I'm 99% sure that your 2nd date in the car screwed things up. And, she read your mind. Next time, don't rush it.

Oh, many guys and girls, as you put it, Get Fucked Over, after spending alot more $$ or their time. In your case, 2 visits ... not a biggie!

 

[addicted2whiskey]

Right on the money Disturbia... who needs Dr. Phil? : P

 

[addicted2whiskey]

Right on the money Disturbia... who needs Dr. Phil? : P

No pun intended. : P

 

[drlove]

Sorry to see that you are upset. Don't be!

You just wanted to bang her, right? I'm not trying to side anyone, but I think she is really looking for a serious relationship. And I'm 99% sure that your 2nd date in the car screwed things up. And, she read your mind. Next time, don't rush it.

You're kidding, right? Making out on a second date isn't out of the norm if two people appear to like one another. As I said, she was sending out all the signals, and I sure as hell wasn't going to end up in the 'friend zone' with her. Besides, she told me she likes a guy who takes charge, so I did.

 

[joeyl]

I suppose, but again this girl went out of her way to give me the signals that she was interested. Add to that, she mentioned repeatedly that she was interested in a developing a meaningful relationship, wasn't interested in playing games etc, when in reality it was just the opposite! I ended up getting played by her. I prefer a more honest approach - this ended up being a waste of my time and money.

This happens to me a lot too. I think it's very common and you just have to accept it that women are rarely upfront about anything and we will never understand them.

 

[Captain Fantastic]

Dude, you blew her off on Friday - you asked her out and when she finally got back to you, she wanted to hang with you. It was your opportunity to shine in front of her friends (by being funny and fun, going outside your comfort zone with karaoke, etc.) while at the same time, seeing her let her hair down, maybe tipsy after having a couple of drinks with the girls...

I'm not saying you should have dropped everything for her, but you could have casually shown up later after doing your thing with your buddies - even had them come along as wing men for her friends. Instead you tried to be too cool for school and blew it. He who hesitates is lost.

Shit happens. Who knows, she may even give you another chance? This time you should take it. You played yourself here - don't blame her.