Funny stories

[Mtl_Expat]

How about a thread to post our stories that, sometimes after the fact, make us laugh and snicker. There's a lot that can happen that is rather funny; here's a place to share those stories.


I'll even go first (and second!): I remember once having a hell of a time trying to find the incall location of one SP. After two or three trips down the block, I realized that I had been walking right past her address - because I never thought that an SP would be working out of a retirement residence.


Second tale: After many false starts, I finally managed to book a well-reviewed but rarely available SP. Rang, the bell, the door opened... and I discovered that her relatively limited hours as an SP were because she had another full time job. In the same office as me. After a few awkward minutes, we began to laugh about the situation... and, in fact, ended up dating for a few months; things ended when she got a new, better, job several hundred kilometres away.

 

[xo_kathryn_xo]

I've got some pretty funny stories.

(This one's kinda gross but funny) One day in the summer time, one of the girls was the only girl working that offered greek (at that time, I was somewhat nervous to do so). She was very popular for that reason and one particular day Brigitte had booked her three or four calls with greek to do. After the second one, she came into the living room and was like "No more greek!" Brigitte and I looked at each other and were like, "oh c'mon, one more!" because we were in the beginning of starting GP and trying to establish our clientele. We convinced her (good-naturedly, of course) that she could just talk him out of it once he got to the apartment and realized what a hottie she was. So this guy came in and she couldn't convince him not to want to do greek, and he opted for it anyway. We know this because about ten minutes into the session, she came running into the room and was bright red and whispered through gasps of trying hard not to giggle that she kinda had an accident all over him because he went too hard. She said they both couldn't even look at each other and the session was promptly over. The worst was Brigitte, her, and I trying desperately not to giggle while he was getting cleaned up in the bathroom! Lesson to all: Don't push too hard for greek if the lady says no!

We had one guy continuously ask for a girl who no longer worked with us, and we gave him her new contact info even but he insisted that he wanted to see her with us, calling repeatedly. One day, Jade got fed up and agreed to make him an appointment with the girl he wanted to see (Jade fits her basic description) and when she opened the door he was all "you're not her!" To which she replied "Oh I'm the new ----!" He happily went on to enjoy the session anyways, thank god! (I am not a fan of ANY kind of bait and switch, this happened while I was not at work)

 

[BootyLoving]

Shit!

 

[xo_kathryn_xo]

Lmao!

 

[justfor]

I've got some pretty funny stories.

(This one's kinda gross but funny) One day in the summer time, one of the girls was the only girl working that offered greek (at that time, I was somewhat nervous to do so). She was very popular for that reason and one particular day Brigitte had booked her three or four calls with greek to do. After the second one, she came into the living room and was like "No more greek!" Brigitte and I looked at each other and were like, "oh c'mon, one more!" because we were in the beginning of starting GP and trying to establish our clientele. We convinced her (good-naturedly, of course) that she could just talk him out of it once he got to the apartment and realized what a hottie she was. So this guy came in and she couldn't convince him not to want to do greek, and he opted for it anyway. We know this because about ten minutes into the session, she came running into the room and was bright red and whispered through gasps of trying hard not to giggle that she kinda had an accident all over him because he went too hard. She said they both couldn't even look at each other and the session was promptly over. The worst was Brigitte, her, and I trying desperately not to giggle while he was getting cleaned up in the bathroom! Lesson to all: Don't push too hard for greek if the lady says no!

This one is not only yukky funny, but also something new (to me) and something good to know!

Thanks for posting.

 

[Frank Ricard]

LOL...I love those two stories - the one about accidental poo...not so much lol!

How old was this SP that was working out of a retirement residence?!?

How about a thread to post our stories that, sometimes after the fact, make us laugh and snicker. There's a lot that can happen that is rather funny; here's a place to share those stories.


I'll even go first (and second!): I remember once having a hell of a time trying to find the incall location of one SP. After two or three trips down the block, I realized that I had been walking right past her address - because I never thought that an SP would be working out of a retirement residence.


Second tale: After many false starts, I finally managed to book a well-reviewed but rarely available SP. Rang, the bell, the door opened... and I discovered that her relatively limited hours as an SP were because she had another full time job. In the same office as me. After a few awkward minutes, we began to laugh about the situation... and, in fact, ended up dating for a few months; things ended when she got a new, better, job several hundred kilometres away.

 

[Mtl_Expat]

For the record: The one working out of the retirement residence was underage for the facility. No idea of how she arranged it... but it was very strange to go through the lobby full of geriatrics to get to the elevator to see her...

 

[Mtl_Expat]

I'll tell no stories, as I'm hoping to keep this thread from deteriorating.

I'll just say that she was young for the location. And odd in her own endearing ways...

 

[curiousm7]

In my early 20s, I had a lot of fun. I was dating this cute little thing who worked at Bayshore and we had agreed to go out for a couple drinks when she got off work at 9. She called me and asked me to pick up a friend of hers from out of town who was staying at her apartment.

I went to her place and knocked. The friend was a hot brunette spinner. What happened next is a bit of a blur but, I bent her over right there in the entry way, lifted her skirt and went at it. Needless to say, this was the first time I gave a facial. As she used her fingers to wipe my finish to her mouth, we introduced ourselves to each other.

 

[Gntlmn]

Not really funny, more sad, but every time I watch "Orange is the New Black" on NetFlix and see the faith healer character "Pennsatucky Tiffany" I'm reminded of Janine who was active over a year ago and made it on CK's Diary for being a substance abusing sad case (I saw her once and she looked like she was quite cute at one point). They are similar, in a few ways.

 

[Summer]

I have had some funny sex experiences! One was years ago when a guy and I were going at it in an open field (secluded) in California, very near the border to Mexico. First we heard the chopping sound of a helicopter, and then suddenly a huge spotlight was dropped on us from above! Turned out it was the Border Patrol checking to see if we were illegal aliens who had slipped across the border! That is one episode I have never forgotten and still makes me laugh.

Another time, a guy and I were walking from Tucsons over to Dennys in the middle of the night after having spent quite some time engaged in some hot foreplay on their dancefloor, when I spied a gap in the low bushes along the parking lot. I shocked him when I grabbed him by the hand and scurried under the bushes, pulling him in behind me. Before he knew what was happening, I had my pants down at my ankles, laughing "fuck me!" He quickly and happily obliged, and we soon crawled out of the bushes with a memory that neither one of us will ever forget.

Another time involved meeting a client at his workplace at night where we had sex on the boardroom table. He said the next day it was a huge turn-on for him when he sat there with his colleagues and could see our handprints still on the table.

Yeah.....good times! and fun!

 

[Ryan1967]

lmfao...thanks Taz

 

[Sgt Banger]

Mine is more of an embarrassing moment. I went to see the SP that I had seen once before at her home. She told me she had "toys" she wanted to try. They were vibrating butt plugs. She had a big one and a small one. My asshole is as tight as a mouse`s ear so I opted for the small one. She oiled it up and inserted it where the sun doesn`t shine. She then turned it on and it vibrated. I panicked and farted. It flew out across the bed. I was so embarrassed. After the session, I used her shower/bath tub to rinse off. I was all soaped up but her tub had sloped sides. I slid on the soapy bottom and lost my balance. I grabbed her shower curtain and ripped it off as I fell naked and soapy from her tub. She ran in after hearing the crash. My head was under the toilet and my ass pointing to the ceiling. I never went back and my ass is still as tight as a mouse`s ear.

Taz either you have a recurring problem with flatulence or you talk a good game. You posted virtually the same review last year.

https://terb.cc/vbulletin/showthread.php?240818-Mature-Alyssa&p=4025604&highlight=#post4025604

 

[Eddie401]

22 years ago I was coming out of my apartment with an SW when the middle-aged Lebanese lady who owned the small grocery store downstairs saw us. She was sweeping out in front of her store. The SW saw her and booked it like an Olympian. I was watching her backside disappear down the block and laughing my ass off right up until the matronly store owner started yelling at me and swatting at me with her broom. I couldn't understand what she was yelling but the public spectacle and the broom hitting me in the ass had me booking it out of there too. I kept weird hours just to avoid her for weeks after that.

 

[wild4sex]

I don't know about funny but crazy for sure.

Couple of years ago I visited a lady in a suburban neighborhood. Parked on the street and rang the doorbell. Instead of going thru the usual pleasantries she gives the "I told you to park in the driveway, what are you doing parking on the street" (she'd been watching me I guess). Then later,"we've met, your Tom" Me no I'm not Tom and we've never met. That went on for a while. I was thinking of leaving but she convinces me otherwise. Then more weirdness. She tells me she has this routine and all I have to do is go along and not say a word for 5min. It involved some music accompanied by a light show, some light massage and some toe sucking (yuk). I couldn't help myself and I said something and got berated for it. Anyways we are naked and I want to get on with it. I tell her I like to fuck, she says no FS on the 1st date (really, 1st time I hear that LOL, Im thinking - hang in there see where it all goes). So BBBJ it is then. A few minutes into it proclaims I've had my dick surgically enlarged and the proof is the kink at the base. I explain that its no true, its totally natural. That goes on for a while and I'm getting pretty fed up. Continuing BJ, finally I get my revenge cumming in her mouth with no warning. She runs off to the washroom and oddly I feel pretty good. After cleanup and dressing chat a little bit. She knows the session went off the rails so she offers me a free half hour on a future date. I say thats OK keep the money, I'm never coming back. Gave her a hug and left.

A couple of days later I PMed her a lengthy CERB review for her eyes only, the jist of review was "worst encounter ever" and all the details. She took it gracefully with a response something like "Yikes, that bad".
Months later the same lady came out on CERB with an addiction issue (no surprise to me of course).