Friendship question

[oil&gas]

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If the guy is really in love than sex once as a favour won't satisfy him. A guy who isn't in love but is just curious as to whether sex will be fun with her or not can often be satisfied with a one off and will be happy with just a friendship going forward. At learst it works for me. No pressure to get married or commit - just an enjoyable friensdship and no feeling that she doesn't think you're worthy of sex either since she tried it out with you once and you both thought the chemistry was lacking so don't want to repeat. Perfect basis for a male-female lasting friendship.

I wish I can learn from you how to develop a more meaningful relationship with
the fairer sex. At my workplace the highest level of physical intimacy I ever achieved
was with a selective few of female co-workers who put up with my bum-petting.
With women in my neighborhood hardly ever got anything more than a kiss.
From now on I will do whatever I can to bed my female friends at least once.
I am sure that would help to forge a more cordial relations with my female
colleagues and more trusting friendship with the (desperate) wives in my neighborhood.

 

[Anynym]

First, is it possible? Yes.

Second, is it likely? No.

The problems revolve around how he developed these feelings that he calls "love", and what it is that he means by it.

It sounds like he developed these feelings unilaterally, and that the feelings he's referring to are embedded in lust. Which typically means that he's not as committed to the friendship as he is to his own pleasure, and "advancing" the friendship would likely prove fatal to the friendship. True romantic love should develop mutually out of the friendship without sex being of concern.

It's easy enough to say that love is an important part of friendship, but that itself doesn't say what kind of love it is: is it brotherly love? Romantic love? Familial love? Other?

I have close friends of the opposite sex with whom I have been in love (and, often, they with me), while never actually having had sex with them. We remain very close friends. But the "love" was NEVER conditional on having sex: if there are conditions on it, it isn't love.

 

[The Bandit]

It's fine, nice you can settle for being a close friend which can have its own rewards. You're still free to pursue other people you're attracted to and your friend would probably be supportive of this.

Exactly, that's what she tells me.

 

[Major Major]

either you proceed as a couple or the friendship is dead

 

[SalsaDog]

I am confused...why would you want to be friends with a girl that won't let you put yourself inside of her? Seems to me that you need more guy friends to hang around with to man up a bit. Once a guy is in the "oh he is just my friend" box, there is no getting out of it.