Friend with benefits question

[Yoga Face]

I think we have all been in this situation

You know a girl that is your friend and you want to turn her into a friend with benefits IE have sex with her without her becoming your girlfriend

as the great Leonard Cohen sang

Everybody knows
You had to meet so many people without your cloths
Everybody knows

But the problem is if you ask her directly and she refuses then you risk losing her as a friend


WTF is the solution

 

[MissCroft]

as the great Leonard Cohen sang

Everybody knows
You had to meet so many people without your cloths
Everybody knows

Everybody knows that you love me baby
Everybody knows that you really do
Everybody knows that you've been faithful,
give or take a night or two
Everybody knows you've been discrete
So many people you had to meet,
without your clothes.....

And everybody knows.

 

[Yoga Face]

Everybody knows that you love me baby
Everybody knows that you really do
Everybody knows that you've been faithful,
give or take a night or two
Everybody knows you've been discrete
So many people you had to meet,
without your clothes.....

And everybody knows.

Yes

a fuller quote from the great Cohen was in order, but he is talking about friends with benefits it seems to me

 

[Luton]

Try to approach the topic in a light-hearted manner and see how she responds. If you are already friends this shouldn't be a problem.

 

[exnocomment]

If you guys are close just have a lot of flirty banter and or innuendo.. It either happens or doesn't happen.

I had the FWB/CSBF relationship with an ex for nearly a year and it was just like hanging out but with sexy time.. We even talked about potential dates and suitors.. It's hard to get to that level of comfort without insecurity, possessiveness or jealousy popping up though..

 

[shrek71]

 

[jcpro]

The solution is simple. Find out what she's looking for. Close friends, long time friends are not very good candidates for FWB. This kind of relationship usually comes with a short expiry date and when it ends, so will the friendship. I prefer a "fuck buddy" situation. A not too close neighbor, casual acquaintance, very busy and/or recently divorced. Have few drinks, do something fun, get her in bed, keep it light and the next day tell her you were not looking for a one night stand, but would like to see her again, sometime. If she does not freak out at "sometime", keep repeating(not too often) until it runs its course or one of you develops feelings.

 

[oral.com]

I think we have all been in this situation

You know a girl that is your friend and you want to turn her into a friend with benefits IE have sex with her without her becoming your girlfriend

as the great Leonard Cohen sang

Everybody knows
You had to meet so many people without your cloths
Everybody knows

But the problem is if you ask her directly and she refuses then you risk losing her as a friend


WTF is the solution

If she really wants to sleep with you, she would send you a signal that you couldn't miss. That's what you need to wait for.

 

[Ceiling Cat]

It is possible, but not that common. I know a woman that is single, attractive ( minimum a 7/10 ) Can look 8- 8.5 with make up and clothes. Body in excellent shape. She has been my friend ( with benefits ) for 6 years. I see her about twice a month. I know she sees other people and goes on vacation with them, but I do the same. Everything was going pretty good until last May when she started to do the old wife routine. Raising her voice, complaining about little things and pulling the I am not happy routine. When she would pull the attitude on me I would do the brooding cat and give her the stare. Then I told her I was going away in July for a few weeks., she knew I was not. When I came back in August she started right up with her mood again. I walked up to her, pushed her in the corner crotch to crotch and waked her bum 4-5 times. She has been OK since. She is the best relationship I have ever had with a woman, why mess it up with commitment or marriage.

 

[niniveh]

The brooding cat stare is illustrated in your GIF. But really, you "walked up to her. pushed her in the corner crotch to crotch and waked her bum 4-5 times"? Consider yourself lucky she didn't knee you in the groin and sent you back in that pathetic sink.

 

[Ceiling Cat]

Now she is....................................

​

 

[Barca]

I can't remember where I read this once but on the topic of getting out of the "friendzone" the key is to withdraw and create space for a period of time which cools the friendship and then re-engage with the new purpose in mind, steering clear of the friendzone pitfalls. This strategy was meant more for those that wanted to go from friend to boyfriend but I'm guessing friend to FWB would use the same strategy. It's still a Longshot though.

 

[IM469]

I tried it and there was a different trend to change the benefits into a more permanent arrangement which we initially agreed we were both not interested in.

Reminds me of the Seinfeld episode:

 

[Titalian]

Everybody knows that you love me baby
Everybody knows that you really do
Everybody knows that you've been faithful,
give or take a night or two
Everybody knows you've been discrete
So many people you had to meet,
without your clothes.....

And everybody knows.

Amen.

 

[GameBoy27]

Enjoy the sex if it happens. Eventually one of you will want more and that's when things go south. Guaranteed!

 

[peter4025]

Why play games?

Ask her if she's ever had a friend with benefits and how she would feel about such scenario (in general). Then, if all positive answers, find out if she finds you attractive and close the deal.

Great answer. But he could get a slap in the face or ruin the friendship forever.
I just wish I would have a friend with benefits that looks like you

 

[rhuarc29]

Guess I was lucky. I walked straight into a FWB scenario where it's what both of us wanted. It was awkward at first because both of us assumed each other wanted more, but we eventually came to the realization that wasn't the case and we were able to let loose. Been quite the romp since.

Suggesting a FWB scenario with an existing friend and being denied shouldn't cause you to lose that friend...unless you can't accept being turned down. You really think she's going to cut you off because you suggested such a thing? Only if your friendship isn't that great to begin with.

 

[red]

The brooding cat stare is illustrated in your GIF. But really, you "walked up to her. pushed her in the corner crotch to crotch and waked her bum 4-5 times"? Consider yourself lucky she didn't knee you in the groin and sent you back in that pathetic sink.

Surely to god you dont believe anything he posts? It is so nonsensical it could have been written by me

 

[GameBoy27]

Guess I was lucky. I walked straight into a FWB scenario where it's what both of us wanted. It was awkward at first because both of us assumed each other wanted more, but we eventually came to the realization that wasn't the case and we were able to let loose. Been quite the romp since.

That's great. How long has your romp been going on for?

 

[GPIDEAL]

Great answer. But he could get a slap in the face or ruin the friendship forever.
I just wish I would have a friend with benefits that looks like you

I was going to say the same thing about a slap, but then he can look at her intensely and say, "Listen, at least I don't beat around the bush or play games". Then she might kiss him passionately, and the rest will work itself out.