Fridays Joke

[rep_pot]

A nun walks into a bus and sits behind the driver and says, "I have just one regret before I die,"

The bus driver asks "What might that be?", she says "I have never had sex, but I can't have sex with a married man or that would be a sin."

The bus driver says, "I'm not married"

The nun says, "I have to die a virgin so I will have to take it in my ass".

Being the only two in the bus they went to the back and took care of business.

When they were done the bus driver says to the nun, "I have a confesion to make, I am married."

The nun says "I also have a confesion to make, My name is Tom and im going to a costume party!"

 

[stevieray]

Um, the nun walks `into` the bus??? Sounds like she/he/it, whatever is already too late! lol

Reminds me of the time a guy asked a bus driver, (true story), "What`s the quickest way to get down to the hospital?", meaning which route. Without missing a beat, the driver replies, "Step in front of my bus! The ambulance should get you there in minutes!"

 

[isod1]

OK another nun joke, it's Friday!!

Happy, Sneezy and Grumpy are at the Vatican and get an audience with the pope. Grumpy, standing in front of his two friends, looking a bit bashful asks the Pope:

Grumpy :Your holliness, are there any dwarf nuns in the Vatican
the Pope : No Grumpy, there aren't any dwarf nuns in the Vatican

And the two ther dwarfs smiles

Grumpy :Your holliness, are there any dwarf nuns in Italy
the Pope : No Grumpy, there aren't any dwarf nuns in all of Italy

And the two ther dwarfs giggle

Grumpy :Your holliness, are there any dwarf nuns in Europe
the Pope : No Grumpy, there aren't any dwarf nuns in all of Europe

And the two ther dwarfs fidget like crazy

Grumpy :Your holliness, are there any dwarf nuns in the World
the Pope : No Grumpy, there aren't any dwarf nuns in all of the World

Now the two dwarfs can't take it anymore, burst out laughing and howling and scream : "Grumpy fucked a penguin Grumpy fucked a penguin"

 

[stevieray]

A drunk staggers into a pub and starts staring at the barmaid`s ample cleavage. Then he leans over the bar and plants a big, sloppy kiss on her lips, while groping her tits.
She`s stunned, but when she`s gathered her wits, she slaps him very, very hard across the face, and he stammers an immediate apology.
"I`m really sorry," he says, "but I honestly thought you were my wife - you look just like her. It`s uncanny."
"You pathertic, spineless piece of no-good drunken shit!!" she snarls.

"Absolutely astonishing!" he says. "You even sound just like her....."