Former sp needs our help

[Ridgeman08]

OK, maybe I'll be the one that actually says it: Maybe its because...

We just don't believe you...

As I said in my first post " I provide some limited financial help (no strings) but am becoming quickly tapped out". That's why I have posted this.

More then 1400 people have viewed this string of posts. If each viewer contributed $10 it would have a huge impact on this woman's life. Maybe I will try to set up something on line or, as I have suggested, is this something that TERB might be able to set up.

So far there are no comments from the women who subscribe to this board and in particular nothing yet from "Chloe" who is the dominant advice giver and all round wonderful person.

As many have already alluded to (including yourself I might add...), this whole story sounds like the spam emails we all rec'v asking for money.

(Sorry, I'm just in a very cynical mood today...)

 

[bemused]

We just don't believe you...



As many have already alluded to (including yourself I might add...), this whole story sounds like the spam emails we all rec'v asking for money.

(Sorry, I'm just in a very cynical mood today...)

I am a greater cynic then you will ever be however this situation is true but I can't guarantee that it is. I have known this woman for almost five years both in and out of the biz. I am her "patient advocate" having initially connecting her with the Toronto hospital clinic that is world renowned for her illness. She comes back 3 or 4 times yearly for treatment and to see friends. There is a much larger back story that I cannot tell without betraying her privacy. She does have some limited family and friend support but it does not cover her needs. I am afraid that she will die in her early thirties. She has never asked me for help. I despair for her and her situation and have the time and energy to do what I can. She gave a lot when she was in the biz to me and to others and is deserving of help.

 

[Hurricane Hank]

Have her contact the Trillium Foundation. Perhaps they can help with off setting medical costs.

It's pretty hard for me to throw money at a situation, or person, that I know nothing about. I'm sure if I knew her, I would have helped by now.

 

[huckfinn]

We just don't believe you...As many have already alluded to (including yourself I might add...), this whole story sounds like the spam emails we all rec'v asking for money.

(Sorry, I'm just in a very cynical mood today...)

Sorry, but I don't buy anonymous requests for money, even for $10. I call spam too!

There are probably many people in a similar situation, who have made people 'happy' by providing different services etc, yet they don't have their hand out in this fashion.

If you have chosen to help, and you are almost tapped out, that is your decision.

 

[Lily Divine]

Here is the problem as I see it... You are asking for something without substantiation. Here are the following points I am taking issue with:

1. This community is prone to being exceptionally helpful when it is a known person, but many are all too familiar with those who were less than truthful so the community as a whole is gun shy so to speak.

2. You have put a level of expectation out there for the community which not only went from $5.00 each to $10.00 each, but commented that no women (and dared to name one) have responded. Why would you have the audacity to specifically go here? Well now you have a response from a woman... Goal achieved!

3. I suppose I should kindly explain that while this thread may have had 1400 views when you stated it. It didn't necessarily have 1400 UNIQUE views.

IF she chooses to fund-raise there are options:

https://www.crowdfunding.com/ - this site will list the various sites, and their fees to use a crowd sourcing site. I would recommend having this set up with her consent prior to pushing any further asking for assistance.

WE (many SP's) have, and will assist women we know.
THE MEN (many, many members of this community) have, and will assist women they know.

You are asking US as a collective whole to assist with a situation we have no factual first hand knowledge about.

You have stated Autoimmune, and Toronto Hospital. This would typically give a high indication it is a program through RMCAD. Due to this I went, and checked which Clinical Trials are showing up for the various Autoimmune diseases. There are no currently listed openings for a program which would lead to death by the age of 30 in most situations. I do know they also treat 150 Autoimmune diseases there, but I wouldn't want to begin to guess on the type, nor severity of the situation.

Reality is... This young woman may not want help from the community. If you are now in a position where you are unable to continue to assist her then you need to speak to her and stop pretending to be big man on campus assisting when it is beyond your means.

Now if you will excuse me I have to go put in some day job time while I wait for some play job time to fall into my lap. I may not live in a 3rd world country, but I sure as heck have to work my ass off some days to make this one livable in the fashion I prefer. You're correct... As a SP I have no other resources, and that is a huge part of why I maintain regular employment as well (even though I would make far more as a full time SP).

I don't know if I would or would not contribute to an arbitrary fund for SP's in need though because who determines which SP is in need, and when it should be dipped into? You would require a board, a charitable designation, etc., etc. and I think this is all far beyond what you were originally attempting.

 

[bemused]

Here is the problem as I see it... You are asking for something without substantiation. Here are the following points I am taking issue with:

1. This community is prone to being exceptionally helpful when it is a known person, but many are all too familiar with those who were less than truthful so the community as a whole is gun shy so to speak.

ME: Fully understood! I too am gun shy but the situation is real and truthful however there is no reason for you to believe me as I reserve my anonymity as does everyone.

2. You have put a level of expectation out there for the community which not only went from $5.00 each to $10.00 each, but commented that no women (and dared to name one) have responded. Why would you have the audacity to specifically go here? Well now you have a response from a woman... Goal achieved!

ME: Lily thanks for your comment and responding. The amount of money suggested was only used as an example. Please don't criticize me for audacity...I did and do want a women's perspective which you have given. Perhaps there should be a wider discussion in the industry as a whole about the protection of sex workers particularly when they are totally down and out. Maybe TERB could be a facilitator for that discussion.

3. I suppose I should kindly explain that while this thread may have had 1400 views when you stated it. It didn't necessarily have 1400 UNIQUE views.

ME: Agreed it was only used as an example.

IF she chooses to fund-raise there are options:

https://www.crowdfunding.com/ - this site will list the various sites, and their fees to use a crowd sourcing site. I would recommend having this set up with her consent prior to pushing any further asking for assistance.

ME: I am looking into crowd funding and will seek her consent when she comes to Toronto for her doctors appointment.

WE (many SP's) have, and will assist women we know.

ME: More power to your generosity. I do hear that often there is no "sisterhood" as the biz is mostly solo and highly competetive .

THE MEN (many, many members of this community) have, and will assist women they know.

ME: Agreed, I have done it before with at least one other woman with regular trips to the grocery store and buying clothes for her child.

You are asking US as a collective whole to assist with a situation we have no factual first hand knowledge about.

ME: That is true. I am the recipient of the knowledge and there is no foundation or reason for anyone to trust me in all of my anonymity.

You have stated Autoimmune, and Toronto Hospital. This would typically give a high indication it is a program through RMCAD. Due to this I went, and checked which Clinical Trials are showing up for the various Autoimmune diseases. There are no currently listed openings for a program which would lead to death by the age of 30 in most situations. I do know they also treat 150 Autoimmune diseases there, but I wouldn't want to begin to guess on the type, nor severity of the situation.

ME: I don't know RMCAD and the fact that you have checked tells me that you too are concerned about this woman. The disease is not typically fatal if properly treated.

Reality is... This young woman may not want help from the community. If you are now in a position where you are unable to continue to assist her then you need to speak to her and stop pretending to be big man on campus assisting when it is beyond your means.

ME: Please don't criticize me for wanting to help her. I wish it were otherwise. I am not a "big man on campus" and don't get the context of your comment. There is nothing in this for me except relief knowing that I did what I could to help one person in need who has given much, while protecting my own anonymity and privacy.

I am going to try to set up a crowd funding site for her.

Now if you will excuse me I have to go put in some day job time while I wait for some play job time to fall into my lap. I may not live in a 3rd world country, but I sure as heck have to work my ass off some days to make this one livable in the fashion I prefer. You're correct... As a SP I have no other resources, and that is a huge part of why I maintain regular employment as well (even though I would make far more as a full time SP).

ME: Amen and more power to you. We all have to work our collective asses off,

I don't know if I would or would not contribute to an arbitrary fund for SP's in need though because who determines which SP is in need, and when it should be dipped into? You would require a board, a charitable designation, etc., etc. and I think this is all far beyond what you were originally attempting.

I would support this very much as long as anonymity is protected for all.

 

[SkyRider]

I don't know if I would or would not contribute to an arbitrary fund for SP's in need though because who determines which SP is in need, and when it should be dipped into? You would require a board, a charitable designation, etc., etc.

Yeah, this is a tough one. Here is a real life example.

One of our former employees fell on hard times and was spotted begging for spare change on Bay and Adelaide. Our boss decided the morally responsible thing to do was to bail him out and put him back on his feet.

If this former SP worked for an agency, maybe they can offer some assistance?

 

[bemused]

Yeah, this is a tough one. Here is a real life example.

One of our former employees fell on hard times and was spotted begging for spare change on Bay and Adelaide. Our boss decided the morally responsible thing to do was to bail him out and put him back on his feet.

If this former SP worked for an agency, maybe they can offer some assistance?

She was an independent however it would be interesting to know from any agencies what they might have done had she been an agency worker.

In my small business all of our staff are compensated over and above and are a testament to the success of our business. We have almost no turnover except for retirement. We would never allow staff with financial issues to beg on the street and would support them

 

[bemused]

There's an idea; go beg on the street. Take a squeegee with you. Have her do the same. And her friends and family. Don't forget your coat.

Doobious, Your comment is totally insensitive and inappropriate. The topic is a serious one and if you cannot take it seriously then please withdraw your comment from this thread. Thank you.

 

[huckfinn]

In my small business all of our staff are compensated over and above and are a testament to the success of our business. We have almost no turnover except for retirement. We would never allow staff with financial issues to beg on the street and would support them

This is not meant as a sarcastic comment, but a genuine one.

Why not hire her to work for you?

 

[whitewaterguy]

This is not meant as a sarcastic comment, but a genuine one.

Why not hire her to work for you?

Employment standards/ labour regs would probably not permit a non citizen, infrequent visitor to the country to be employed without a hundred hoops to jump through first..if at all

 

[bemused]

Employment standards/ labour regs would probably not permit a non citizen, infrequent visitor to the country to be employed without a hundred hoops to jump through first..if at all

That is exactly correct and while I could pay her under the table the nature of my business would not permit it. I am, however, assisting her as best I can given my limited knowledge in making an application to become a Canadian immigrant but unfortunately she does not fall into any of the immigration categories such as being a refugee.

 

[huckfinn]

Employment standards/ labour regs would probably not permit a non citizen, infrequent visitor to the country to be employed without a hundred hoops to jump through first..if at all

Very true.....

 

[Ceiling Cat]

If you give a man a fish you feed him for a day, if you teach a man to fish you feed him his whole life.

If you can, why not set her up in some sort of small business where she can sell or trade goods in her own country and make an income.

 

[roger20]

So much energy put into one anonymous, maybe fictitious foreigner where there are hundreds of locals here who genuinely need help... out of work goodwill employees come to mind... amazing

 

[lakeboy1]

So much energy put into one anonymous, maybe fictitious foreigner where there are hundreds of locals here who genuinely need help... out of work goodwill employees come to mind... amazing

Heres even more wasted energy…….if she from a "Southern Country" whatever the fuck that means, why is she so worried about anonymity? Is her Abuela in Argentina going to be devastated? But we are speaking about a fictitious person so I guess the point is moot. Or as my little italian friend would say "mute"

 

[On_the_side]

life is hard ...

 

[benstt]

That is exactly correct and while I could pay her under the table the nature of my business would not permit it. I am, however, assisting her as best I can given my limited knowledge in making an application to become a Canadian immigrant but unfortunately she does not fall into any of the immigration categories such as being a refugee.

Don't hire her, give her a contract for some services. Translation, whatever.

 

[carter80]

Kudos for helping someone in need, sounds like you've got a good heart. I implore you to be careful with some of the women from "southern countries" however. I've lost track of the number of sick and dying aunts, grandmothers, babies or personal emergencies various women I know have come to me with.

Be careful sir...double check, then triple check, then check again. I hate to be so cynical, but experience has taught me that it's necessary.

 

[out4fun]

There are some inexpensive drugs available to treat RA. The relatively new biologic meds such as humera, enbrel and remicade would cost around 3k per month, but there are older disease modifying meds like methotrexate that would cost closer to $50 per month. I used to volunteer at the Arthritis Society. It's a terrible disease. I hope she comes through ok.