Follow up text after visit

[justawildchild]

About 4 months ago (I am just getting getting courage to write about it now) I was visiting the states on business. The last day before I was to head home, I decided to take a visit to the local talent.

The visit was MEH, but that is not where the problem lies. 2 weeks after I got back from my trip, I got a text from her saying she was available. 2 weeks later!!! That is not the bad part though. My wife happened to be using my phone to look something up, when the text came through.

I had never seen this girl before, nor did I indicate that I would want to see her again. What business did she have texting back again. Or maybe it was her lack of business. Don't these girls understand that they lose their bread and butter if they do this without prior approval?

I know most people will say get a burner phone or don't let my wife use my phone or don't hobby, but it was 2 weeks later!!

So long story short, I am separated from my wife right now. It likely won't work out for us for other reasons as well, but still. Am I wrong to expect to not be contacted unless I ask her to?

What are your thoughts?

 

[highpark]

I've had a separate phone for hobbying for years. A 7/11 phone. Love it. But if it wasn't going to work out with your wife for other reasons maybe it'll be best for u in the long run. I'd never trust a sp or mpa not to call me once she had my number.

 

[geeky]

I've had a separate phone for hobbying for years. A 7/11 phone. Love it. But if it wasn't going to work out with your wife for other reasons maybe it'll be best for u in the long run. I'd never trust a sp or mpa not to call me once she had my number.

I think thats an unfair generalization, but I don't disagree with playing it safe and having a hobby phone. Or better yet, just use a burner app.

 

[shogun89]

Girls do this all the time. It's getting out of hand and annoying as fuck to be honest.

 

[Chloë.]

Personally I will text right after the appointment (5-15 minutes), if I know he's going back to work or email him from the address used to thank him for a wonderful afternoon or evening. THEN he's gone from my radar.

One thing I refrain from doing though, is replying if way too much time has gone by. This is a big reason why my preference is email. A 1 hour time lapse for missed calls/texts is usually my limit but even then I'm extremely generic. "Hello?" Or "Sorry, did I miss a message/call from this number? I'm not sure." So they can make up an excuse if needed.

Two weeks is quite unorthodox. That girl must have been in real need of traffic...



Soliciting appointments like THAT is a definite no no.

 

[Barca]

I think it's ridiculous that guys have "hobby" phones but to each his own.

But I don't understand this practice of letting the wife use your phone either.

However, none of that deserved what happened to you. That sucks man.

 

[NHFL]

But I don't understand this practice of letting the wife use your phone either.

It is illegal to use phones while driving. Fines I think could be up to $1,000 come September if caught. Common situation while a couple is driving could be "oh let's stop at place-x before we head to place-y. My phone is right here and yours is out of batteries. My dear sweet love, can you ask Siri for directions to place-x on my iPhone and then confirm it?"

Just to give you some insight...

 

[dirkd101]

This has happened to me, thankfully I received the text and was alone at the time, so no big deal, but it did make me ponder the what ifs of the situation.

 

[Barca]

I'm not talking about one-off situations. That happens I understand. Shoot, I've given strangers my phone to use in extreme cases but as a general rule I wouldn't say I let strangers use my phone!

What I am talking about is regular occurrences of sharing phones, increasing the likelihood of her seeing any information, innocuous or not. That to me is silly.

 

[Sophia Sinclair]

justawildchild,

I started a thread about this very topic back on May 28 entitled "Discretion Please" https://terb.cc/vbulletin/showthread.php?526228-Discretion-Please. If you stick with well reviewed, professional ladies like Chloe and I you won't have this problem!

 

[herbnessman]

Debates about hobby phones aside you should change your text settings so that the content is not displayed in notifications.

Yes your wife may have still seen that you received a text message from an unknown number. But she would have to go into your text app to see what was written. Basic step could give you the extra few seconds to pry the phone from her hands, say it's a buddy and save your marriage lol.

 

[bolt.upright]

I have an app on my phone called Go SMS. It allows me to have texts from certain numbers show up in a private box that is password protected. Texts from SPs are not visible without the password, yet family/work texts come through normally.

 

[explorerzip]

It allows me to have texts from certain numbers show up in a private box that is password protected. Texts from SPs are not visible without the password, yet family/work texts come through normally.

I think you have to set up private numbers ahead of time for this to work. So the OP would have to type in the SP's (or any other numbers) ahead of time.

 

[bolt.upright]

I think you have to set up private numbers ahead of time for this to work. So the OP would have to type in the SP's (or any other numbers) ahead of time.

Yes. When I text an SP I put her number in the private box for when she replies to me. If an SP that I don't know somehow got a hold of my number and texted me out of the blue it would come through like any other text.

 

[AmiAndrews]

It's always been my rule to - never - initiate contact with a client. I've never once deviated from that. If I hear from you, great, but to go out of my way to send a message without you expecting it - absolutely not. I know many of my clients have wives and/or significant others, and I fully respect this. My Ami phone is a separate line from my civilian life, and is kept under lock and key.

She was most definitely out of line to message you out of the blue like that. Ladies in this industry, for the most part, understand and value, discretion as an integral part of their business. If they don't, they likely will not succeed in this industry.

I'm sorry this happened to you and for what you are going through with your wife. Stay strong. )

 

[explorerzip]

Yes. When I text an SP I put her number in the private box for when she replies to me. If an SP that I don't know somehow got a hold of my number and texted me out of the blue it would come through like any other text.

So you would have to remember to add a SP's number into the app or it will come through like any other text.

 

[explorerzip]

It's always been my rule to - never - initiate contact with a client. I've never once deviated from that. If I hear from you, great, but to go out of my way to send a message without you expecting it - absolutely not. I know many of my clients have wives and/or significant others, and I fully respect this. My Ami phone is a separate line from my civilian life, and is kept under lock and key.

She was most definitely out of line to message you out of the blue like that. Ladies in this industry, for the most part, understand and value, discretion as an integral part of their business. If they don't, they likely will not succeed in this industry.

I'm sorry this happened to you and for what you are going through with your wife. Stay strong. )

Clients and providers just need to learn to have some professional distance.

 

[pussyluver]

With free phone apps for smart phones I don't have any why anyone would take a chance with their real number.

Hobby phone or app... It's the best way to protect yourself.

But as many have said, you didn't deserve it at all...

 

[justawildchild]

With free phone apps for smart phones I don't have any why anyone would take a chance with their real number.

Hobby phone or app... It's the best way to protect yourself.

But as many have said, you didn't deserve it at all...

Problem with me is I still have a BlackBerry, so not many apps that will work on my phone

 

[DaleyDDD]

Personally I only text someone if I know I'm allowed. I have no time for wives lol
I'm sorry for her 2 week late text, that should NEVER happen.
Can we write a SP handbook?