Fell in Love/Lust with an escort. Young sex addict

[Jenesis]

I apologize for my insensitive and ignorant comments. I didn't mean to offend anyone. I was in a bad place and said things I shouldn't have. I'll be okay without professional help. I've gotten here this far on my own and I can keep going on my own and fix myself.

There is nothing wrong with professional help. And that is the great thing about professional help - you don’t HAVE to do this on your own. Why would you want to? Why be alone in this if you don’t have to?

I’ll tell you something - I have been an advocate for mental health basically all my adult life. I have time and time again, gone to therapy. I went for pre-grief therapy before my mom passed away and then post passing grief therapy. I went for therapy to get out of an abusive relationship. I have gone to therapy a number of time. It is not something that has to be life long, can just be for what you need now. At this time.

But feelings of wishing to get cancer (insult or not) means you need to get some help. If you broke your arm, you would need professional help. This is no different. You are not bad, or wrong, or anything negative like that if you get help. It won’t diminish your hard work because therapy is hard work.

Don’t rule it out. Never rule out your options. It can sit on the back burner if need by but don’t rule it out. At least find out where the supports in your area are. An escort review board can only give you so much help. You need a personal person with professionalism and education to give you the place to vent and give the tools and advice that can stop this from continuing.

Also getting help for yourself makes you better for the relationship/companionship you craving.

You are great at looking within and very insightful about yourself which will only help you in getting help, but as someone who has been in the game so to speak for over 25 years, take the friendly advice and at least look into the supports in your area.

And thank you the apology. I know it can be hard and sometimes shit just flies out our mouths during those hard times. I believe you meant no ill will.

Lastly - you don’t need to “fix” yourself sweetie. We all just need a few tweaks and adjustments every now and then but you are not broken. You are a human being with feelings and that is ok.

 

[GGGDickson]

Firstly, reading your posts - I think you have a Personality Disorder; you need a Psychiatrist.

Secondly, you said you went into debt....please don't tell me you are taking Cash Advances on your Credit Card in order to finance this....if you did, you are doubly stupid.

Finally, (and I'm saying this from personal experience) - once you start doing this, you don't want to date and have real relationships. You feel amazing because you are chasing a dopamine rush through your orgasm. Seeing escorts is quick and easy and gets you your fix. It's the same as an opiod addict injecting Heroin into his veins.

So, here is your action plan:

1. Pay off all your fucking debt....start with the most expensive debt (higher interest rate) first, and work down from there
2. Get therapy
3. Finish your schooling and focus on getting a sustainable income....job market is going to be a little choppy for the next 1 or 2 years
4. You must save 10% of what you earn....and put that in two separate savings account....one "rainy day" fund and one "hooker" fund....only see escorts when you have the cash to do so...DO NOT put yourself in debt again over this

Good luck, bud.

Good Advice! Only try saving 15% now.

As others have said only spend what you can afford. I can relate to you when I was young my only social relationship was hookers and street walkers. I have never had a real relationship and although some might think it is sad and a bit sick. My businesses are my life and i work 7 days a week and 18 to 20 hour days. When I feel lonely or sad I call up a provider. If I have a good day and want to celebrate I call a provider. I have the resources to spend on providers.

DO NOT GO INTO DEBIT FOR IT.

I have been in therapy for years. However there are providers who give me interesting advice that I think it is better than my therapist. LOL

I suffer from depression and I have my highs and lows. Because of my situation my therapist feels that I can use providers to practice my social interactions and learn to improve me social skills and live out my issue in real time. It has helped me with my anger management or feelings of being a victim. It has taught me how to talk and intact with others and learn empathy and respect others feelings yet teaching me not to project. It also helped me to deal with my abandonment issues. I get to practice what it might be like to be in a 'relationship', to be a 'husband' a 'boyfriend'.

There is a lot of good advice here but if you can not handle it you need to step away. Do not let it drive your life. Let it add to your life.

I hope it helps and you are able to manage it. It is good you shared your concerns as they are real. I like the rush of being in love with my providers but in the end knowing it does not last keeps me sane. It is like a ride at Disneyland it is a fun place to visit but you can not live there.

 

[MattyMcG92]

I apologize for my insensitive and ignorant comments. I didn't mean to offend anyone. I was in a bad place and said things I shouldn't have. I'll be okay without professional help. I've gotten here this far on my own and I can keep going on my own and fix myself.

Gabelogan,

When you land your first job out of school, they will have some sort of employee assistance program that comes with the benefit plan. You may be able to get where you need to go without help. But with help you can get there a lot faster.

Also, congrats on your graduation. It is a huge achievement. A lot of successful people never achieved this.

Matt

 

[MrPrezident]

You should date some ugly women once in a while. Find some women less good looking than you. They can be very nice people. They might cook dinner and listen to your bullshit for free. But if you want to cavort naked with movie stars you will need to get busy and make the $$$.

 

[massman]

Update: I did relapse and see a couple providers over the last couple months but I was able to control myself and limit to half hour and maximum hour long sessions. I have not seen anyone for almost a month now. I've been putting all of my frustrations and sadness into working out and I'm seeing great results. Working out again has given me my confidence back after a long time. I'm doing great in school and I'm about to graduate with a professional degree. I will not break. I will NEVER quit. I have also told myself I will NEVER see an escort again. I have blocked all of the providers numbers and emails from my phone. I think I am emotionally stable enough to give this habit up for good this time. Still feel heartbroken and abandoned but it doesn't feel crippling anymore. I am able to channel that negative energy into productive endeavours now. My goals are bigger. My standards for myself are higher. I am slowly climbing my way out of rock bottom. After a very long time, I am able to envision a positive future for myself. Just wanted to update those of you here who do care.

Congrats. If you want to be able to keep out of the hobby, delete your membership here. Otherwise you’ll read all these stories/ reviews and likely relapse.

 

[whynot888]

First thing you should do is get the fuck off Terb, stop lounging in here and stop searching for answers from a bunch a perverts. Im sure your a nice kid but your to fucking naive. Go get some real advice from a professional, good luck dude!

 

[kherg007]

I believe that fucking and making love are different things, but falling in love with a whore...

"Whore" won't get ye far in this arena...take the advice of mgk: "I don't do fake love but I'll take some from you tonight..."

 

[richaceg]

Next time you hobby, always think, you're with your girlfriend, you fuck her, break up with her after 30 minutes and walk away...save the drama for your momma...see different ladies before you repeat...

 

[likwid]

Look man, you‘re depressed because you lack focus. Focus on something constructive that you can build a future/career off of. You gotta commit though. Limit your SP usage to like once a month if that. And see different women

 

[y2kmark]

You should date some ugly women once in a while. Find some women less good looking than you. They can be very nice people. They might cook dinner and listen to your bullshit for free. But if you want to cavort naked with movie stars you will need to get busy and make the $$$.

Mutual gratitude is a precious commodity. If she has a few "care lines" it shows she knows how to care, which is a great start...

 

[countd]

A good reference: Feel The Fear......and Do It Anyway Susan Jeffers Ph.D.

 

[Just Looking For A Latina]

You need to start. Get a win. Get out of bed. Make your bed. If you want to go back to bed, great! Do it again tomorrow and make one more small step, say look out the window. Repeat the next day.

 

[laurameida]

It is the first experience for you, so these are your mistakes, and you don't need to judge yourself for it! Many people have been in similar situations, and I am no exception. Be more confident, forget about your past and go ahead. If you want to find a good girl, then you just need to wait. Sooner or later, if you want it, you will find the one created for you. You are studying at the university, aren't there any good exemplary beauties worthy of your attention? If you want sex, you can turn to escorts, as I do when I visit London.

 

[gabelogan]

I dont know if anyones still interested anymore but I did get a bit better for a while. However, A LOT has happened over the last year in my life. I Couldn't give up this habit. I'm at the end of the road and I won't be here much longer. There is no happy ending to this story. And it isn't just this addiction that took me down. Every aspect of my life is in shambles and most of the shit that's happened to me isn't even in my control. I tried really hard. I did fight. But this is my fate. I accept it.

 

[gabelogan]

Off topic but I'm glad that medical assistance in dying will be available to individuals with mental illnesses beginning March 2023. It's about time we facilitate a safe, peaceful, and guaranteed exit for those in pain. I'm not interested in waiting another year though.

 

[gabelogan]

To those who advocate professional help, I hope you understand that a professional cannot replace a lack of real love in my life. They can't take away the loneliness I've felt my whole life. A professional cannot help me. I just needed a real and genuine person to be there for me. Just one person would've been enough. I've had lots of friends but no love and support. Had lots of sex but had no relationship. I have parents but never received any love or guidance from them. The only love I know is the short lasted one that I paid for. I have lots of issues right now including financial, health related, workplace injury, job loss, etc . But I can deal with it. The loneliness and lack of love is unbearable though. Love is the answer. Love can heal.

 

[Leslielake]

To those who advocate professional help, I hope you understand that a professional cannot replace a lack of real love in my life. They can't take away the loneliness I've felt my whole life. A professional cannot help me. I just needed a real and genuine person to be there for me. Just one person would've been enough. I've had lots of friends but no love and support. Had lots of sex but had no relationship. I have parents but never received any love or guidance from them. The only love I know is the short lasted one that I paid for. I have lots of issues right now including financial, health related, workplace injury, job loss, etc . But I can deal with it. The loneliness and lack of love is unbearable though. Love is the answer. Love can heal.

Start travelling. Travel the world and your problems will go away. If you can spend so much for the paid companionship, you can travel as well. It might change your life. Go see new places and experience different cultures.

 

[massman]

I’ll say this again. Don’t forget it.

“Remember when you are feeling like shit, 1. depression is treatable, it requires some effort and the ability to allow others to help you and 2. A broken heart almost always repairs itself, but it can’t if you hold onto the past.”

I’ve been in a place where my mental illness was about to end my career, that id worked and sacrificed for, for decades, which would have led to financial ruin, and risked losing my family. I could not see a way out, and felt completely hopeless. But, with the support of family and a few select friends, as well as good medical / psychiatric care, I was able to recover. Was that the happy end of the story? Not exactly. That was 15 years ago, and I’ve had 3 major relapses since (counting one going on right now). It is massively frustrating and demoralizing when things fall apart again, but since I was able to get out of the first one, I know that it is possible to do so again. See your doctor. Follow their advice. See a professional (psychiatrist, psychologist, social worker, counsellor) who can help guide you back to wellness, and identify the roots of your problem and help you change the harmful thought patterns your brain has learned that lead to your mental illness.

The problem of sex addiction in people like us is huge. The boost in self esteem you get when with a girl who is (or at least seems to be) totally into you provides a (very temporary) reprieve from feeling so bad about yourself. And the act of sex itself, allows you to completely escape the bad thoughts and feelings in your mind. It’s one of the few things that can do that. So you are not a shitty person, a perv or degenerate for having succumbed to it. You are quite vulnerable to it, much more than most.

It will seem like there is no hope now, but you are a young guy, apparently pretty bright, with a good education and when you are not ill like now, have a strong work ethic and drive. You have a lot to contribute to the world. Put yourself in the hands of professionals who can help you. Dont hide the parts of your illnessfrom them that make you feel shame. They can help a lot, and there is a way out, the sickness just blinds you to that fact. The illness is the problem. Not you.

 

[massman]

To those who advocate professional help, I hope you understand that a professional cannot replace a lack of real love in my life. They can't take away the loneliness I've felt my whole life. A professional cannot help me. I just needed a real and genuine person to be there for me. Just one person would've been enough. I've had lots of friends but no love and support. Had lots of sex but had no relationship. I have parents but never received any love or guidance from them. The only love I know is the short lasted one that I paid for. I have lots of issues right now including financial, health related, workplace injury, job loss, etc . But I can deal with it. The loneliness and lack of love is unbearable though. Love is the answer. Love can heal.

Professional help can make you able to find love, and better cope with the times you are lonely. It can help you deal with the issues of self esteem, and self confidence stemming from your lack of love / support during your childhood. From what you say, you have a lot to offer a woman, but the barrier is your anxiety and self esteem. That can be improved with professional help.

It’s a total cliché, but true. Before you can have someone love you, you have to learn to love yourself.

 

[poker]

I fell in love with an escorts boobs…