Pickering Angels

Fart Etiquette?

What should you say/do upon dropping an involuntary fart?

  • Say and do nothing

    Votes: 33 68.8%

  • I can't think of any more options

    Votes: 15 31.3%
  • Total voters
    48
B

buttercup

Active member
Feb 28, 2005
2,564
11
38
What's the correct etiquette -- at least among terbites (perhaps not a good cross-section of the population) -- after you drop a fart?

I don't mean the strong silent type of fart. Obviously when that happens you look round disapprovingly at the other guy, even (especially?) in a polite formal setting.

I'm talking about the involuntary but audible fart, which is clearly heard by other people. I did one the other day, when giving a presentation to some colleagues. I turned to point to something on the screen, and I guess the sudden body twist caused it! Nobody said anything, but I know they must have all heard it. No smell, fortunately. But I'm thinking they'll remember the fact that I let one go a lot longer than they remember the presentation.

Should you ignore it -- just let it hang there, so to speak -- and hope they think it was someone's chair creaking? It's not like a burp/belch, which is easily glossed over and forgotten with "Oops, pardon me!" Or is it? Can/should you do that with a fart? If not that, what?
 
Try moving a chair or something to mask the noise or get someone to pull your finger then it becomes there fault
 
Light a match and see if you can become a flame thrower.

People are so stupid; it's not the noisy ones you should be worried about.

It's the silent ones. :eek:
 
I saw this happen at a funeral once. Brother of the deceased in his late 60s was sitting in one of those hard plastic chairs during the euology when one sneaked out.

It wasn't a little "phazzz," it sounded kind of like a bark (undoubtedly due to the wonderful audio properties of the chair). He looked around and it was pretty clear that everyone heard it, including the minister who was delivering the eulogy.

The minister smiled and said, "George (the name of the deceased) would have liked that." A gentle guffawing took place and that was that.

Can't say I've ever dropped one in the middle of giving a presentation, but I'd probably just apologize and continue on. "Oops... sorry about that... now, if you'll notice this chart, you'll see a continued increase in productivity..." blah blah.
 
I would say "excuse me" just as I would if I had belched unexpectedly.

Simple politeness.
 
Reminds me of the movie Weird Science....

Garry: If you're going to float an air biscuit, let me know, okay?
Wyatt: Float a what?
Garry: If you're gonna fart, squeeze cheese, let me know, okay? I'll hit the fan!

Or you can just look around randomly and ask, "Alright, who stepped on the duck?"
 
These are Good Answers. But I'm not sure I'll be any further forward next time. Next time? OMG!

The thing is, when you float an audible doily in polite company, you know it will be remembered for ever. And anything you say would only make it even more memorable. They will always remember that you farted that day. Except no-one will ever mention it. People remember something like that the way they remember what they were doing on 9/11.

That's how I feel right now, anyway.

*Doily? D'Oyly-Carte = fart.
 
How about a nice long "aaaahhhh!!! God, that felt good!" Hey, at least they'll know you're not shy :p Kind of makes me want to change the lyrics to that old REM song: Everybody farts, sometimes... Damn, I'm starting to sound like Esco!
 
That's why I say giggling is best -- and I suppose you can apologize with it if you want -- but like buttercup says, everybody farts. In this pursuit, we're getting in awfully close and personal -- it's just not as easy to cover a fart as it is, say, at a dinner party. Further, if it is going to be remembered, best be remembered as a humourous moment, eh?

When Fred and I were going together, before we got married, we were driving from Parachute School of Toronto to Westway Parachuting, in New Hamburg. We stopped along the way at some donut shop which was packed, and just as we stepped through the door, Fred let loose with a really LOUD one. He turned to me and said, "Christine!" EVERYONE LOOKED!!! Man! Was my face red!!

(I still have to get him back for that one.)

..c..
 
"The thing is, when you float an audible doily in polite company, you know it will be remembered for ever. And anything you say would only make it even more memorable. They will always remember that you farted that day. Except no-one will ever mention it. People remember something like that the way they remember what they were doing on 9/11."

Quoted for comedic genius.
Thanks Buttercup.
 
R:Fart Etquette

Great on crowded TTC Trains, Buses, stare at uppty beouches, clears the air after an a attude encounter, please move and let me through:) Do when you reach your stop!
 
The old men forget, and all shall be forgot;
But they'll remember with advantages the farts we did that day.

Maybe not so immortal as the feats of those who fought upon St Crispins Day -- but memorable enough all the same.
 
I can't think of any more options
Click to expand...
I can:

- Fist pump / knee lift
- Shake out the pant leg / Ventilate the waistband
- Whistle or groan in relief
- Pat your gut
- Say Whoo!
- End Zone Dance / Soccer Goal victory lap

upon dropping an involuntary fart?
Click to expand...
Oh, sorry I overlooked the Involuntary clause. Never really imagined an involuntary one...
 
buttercup said:
People remember something like that the way they remember what they were doing on 9/11.
Click to expand...
So dramatic! Were you dressed like Bin Laden at this presentation? I would love to let loose a ripper with an aftershock big enough to topple the twin towers!:p

Get over it already and be happy you aren't a woman (although sounding like one a bit) and letting an enthusiastic queef fly out instead! Now that would be memorable...
 
Simply drop to the floor like you've feinted or had a heart attack (falling off your chair is even better).
 
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