etiquette question

[Gentle Ben]

perhaps not etiquette but I'm looking for help. I am involved with a non profit charitable group, we have a member that has been awesome for many years. She served as director for many years until about a year ago when she resigned. She makes phone calls to our members faithfully to remind them of meetings and any special events. People tell me that they really enjoy getting her phone calls & chatting with her. Some people have said they don't want her calls & we always respect that. She will sit and make over 200 phone calls without hesitation if we're running a special event, Every month she calls 75 plus people over a 1 or 2 day period.
So that's the back ground.
As I said she was a director but resigned her position due to aging & health concerns. Now She has told the group that She wants to stop making the phone calls, that we should get someone else to do it. It's her health that is dictating this. I respect her and told her so, and that she shouldn't worry about us, concentrate on her & her family.
The question is, I want to at get her a card so that our members can sign it saying Thanks!, but I am pondering if I should also get a card to say Get Well Soon, or should I combine the two, or what? Oh, and she's not going to get any better health-wise... I would also like to buy her some flowers or something , but that would probably be me personally buying them rather than the group.

Suggestions & thoughts appreciated.

 

[SillyGirl]

If her health situation isn't going to improve, please don't send a card that says Get Well Soon. There are cards along the lines of "thinking of you at this difficult time" that would be more appropriate.

A Thank You card and flowers would be a lovely gesture.

 

[The Options Menu]

The question is, I want to at get her a card so that our members can sign it saying Thanks!, but I am pondering if I should also get a card to say Get Well Soon, or should I combine the two, or what? Oh, and she's not going to get any better health-wise... I would also like to buy her some flowers or something , but that would probably be me personally buying them rather than the group.

I'd go with, 'Get Well' or 'Thinking of You'... 'Thanks' in the situation of a dedicated person who's in physical decline is a little like, 'Thanks for all the grunt work, see you at your funeral'. Personally, *I* wouldn't read too much into a card beyond the sentiment behind it, but everybody is different.

edit: Silly Girl's point above is a good one as well. 'Thinking of you in this difficult time' is much better than 'Get well' if you aren't getting well.

edit 2: I was writing a longer RE, but it's been better said by others-- But yeah, I'd avoid 'Get Well' if a person isn't, and anything that seems too ham fistedly, 'Here's a thank you card now get the fuck out the door!'.

The simple fact that you're thinking about it probably means that you'll do fine.

 

[Kyra.Graves]

A thank you card is definitely a good idea and personally I'd see about getting something that is personally connected to the charity that she can hold on to or have as she moves forward. Without knowing the nature of the charity or her own health issues it's hard to be specific but I find that people that have spent so much time and energy working in a charity tend not to be so cynical towards the gifts they'll receive so I wouldn't worry to much about her thinking poorly about it should you miss the mark on the specific item just keep the intention behind it right and she'll understand.

For example if your charity focuses on childrens literacy and she is now leaving as she is starting chemo perhaps give yourself a timeline that by her first chemo treatment you would like to have a book completed by a few children in the program. It can be as simple as a handwritten book, stapled together with a few facts inserted by you that since Mrs. Smith started with ABC charity 5000 children have been through the program and went on to learn to read and write and make their own books for their parents teachers and eventually University professors.... etc.
Hand it to her and let her know that it's not what she did for you and the charity that matters but it's the beneficiaries of the charity that are thanking her for all of her work, that she has inspired everyone and that there was nothing you could give her that would really say thanks but you hope this shows how much of an impact she has made.

If your charity was a humane society with a focus on homeless dogs and she is developing alzheimers you could get a small photo book and fill it with dogs that were successfully placed during her tenure. Opposite the photo you could put each dogs story, a name, breed, and few simple facts about each animal. This will not only jog her memory now but will also be a reminder for her later when she may or may not be able to recall with as much ease. You can simply hand her the book and say to her, "There were so many that wanted to thank you for all you have done but we didn't have that many pages so we just put a few in here so you know just how important everything you have done truly is."

There are lots of examples but I think the best way you can thank someone for their charitable work especially as they come to the end of it is to show them that they've made an impact and that it will continue.

 

[Aardvark154]

I agree with Kyra Graves and Silly Girl. Saying thank you is the right thing to do, and acknowledges the significant contribution to your organization they have made, likewise a gift of flowers or a plant (something like perhaps a Clivia) would also be a nice gesture. On the other hand saying get well to someone who is having some of the problems associated with old age if there isn't a realistic short term prognosis of their recovery is merely rubbing salt in the wound.

 

[Gentle Ben]

Thanks for the suggestions. I didn't want to get to specific. She also isn't a person that likes a lot of fanfare , she does the work because she is dedicated and wants to.
A thank you card with a memo inside signed by a bunch of the members and some flowers it is.