Drive-thru banking

[stang]

Local Banks are installing more drive-through ATM machines at various locations as added convenience for their customers.
To enable people to use these properly the following guidelines have been drawn up.
Please read the one applicable to you.

GUIDELINES FOR MEN

1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Wind down window.
3. Insert card into machine.
4. Enter PIN and amount of cash required
5. Receive card, cash and receipt.
6. Wind up window.
7. Drive off.

GUIDELINES FOR WOMEN

1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Reverse back the required amount to align car window to machine.
3. Restart the stalled engine.
4 Wind down the window.
5. Find handbag, remove all contents onto passenger seat to locate card.
6. Turn the radio down.
7. Attempt to insert card into machine.
8. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to it's excessive distance from the car.
9. Insert card.
10. Re-insert card the right way up.
11. Re-enter handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
12. Enter PIN.
13. Press cancel and re-enter PIN.
14. Enter amount of cash requested.
15. Check make-up in rear view mirror.
16. Retrieve cash and receipt.
17. Empty handbag again to locate purse and place cash inside.
18. Place receipt in back of chequebook.
19. Re-check make-up again.
20. Drive forward 2 meters.
21. Reverse back to cash machine.
22. Retrieve card.
23. Re-empty handbag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.
24. Restart stalled engine and drive away.
25. Drive 2 - 3 kilometers.
26. Release parking brake.

 

[tboy]

LOL that also applies to WALK up banking machines too *eg*

BTW: have you EVER seen a woman at a bank machine actually have her card and paperwork in her hand when she gets to the machine? With that being said have you ever seen a woman at a cashier have her money ready when the clerk totals the bill?

BBTW: don't drive a 4 x 4 up to a drive up window, friggin buttons are too low....either that or my arm isn't long enough...

 

[hot rod]

Here is something to ponder - why is it that drive thru ATM's have braille buttons? Are they expecting a blind guy to drive up or something?

 

[goodtime]

ATM makers now standardize on 1 keypads. Doesn't cost much more.

Few visual impair can drive but trouble reading small prints at arms length.

Tboy, only big boys/girls should drive 4x4. Sorry, couldn't resist.

 

[ig-88]

Man or woman, the thing I can't stand is ...

people who make deposits at ATMs.

Takes too f'in long. Go to the ATM inside or just go to the bank on your lunch break.

 

[t8rs]

guidelines...

That's funny cuz it's true.


Observations I've made at drive-thru ATM's*:

-people who walk up to the drive-thru when there are other machines in the bank branch thereby delaying those in the vehicles. WTF?

-drivers entering the wrong way so the passenger accesses the ATM. WTF? Why don't you go into the branch?

-drivers parked so far that there is enough room to open their door wide enough to get out and use the ATM. WTF? You can't park close enough to even be able to lean out and use the machine?

-drivers who are in such a hurry they forget to take their cash. (Oops, that was me )


* Whenever I see "ATM", I can't help thinking ass-to-mouth; too much porn on the brain.

 

[WhaWhaWha]

GUIDELINES FOR TRAILER PARK BOYS

1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Hook up winch to trailer hitch on car
3. Attach other end to bank machine.
4. Drive away
5. Withdraw later in the privacy of your hideout.