Doggerel

[Bear669]

I'm a little butt plug short and stout,

This is my dick-head, this is my stump,

Find a nice dark hole and bury me away,

And I'll be a big DIL-DO some day!


(Apologies to my kindergarten teacher)

 

[smylee52]

There was a dude from Toronto
Who needed his dick sucked pronto
Hopped in the car to cruise for a whore
Propositioned a cop and his life took an embarassing and costly detour .

 

[Bear669]

Its old but...

Mary had a little lamb

A charming sight to see

Now Mary's doing 5-10

for BEAST-IAL-ITY!

 

[Bear669]

Variation

I'm a lumberjack and I'm ok!

I fuck all night,

and I sleep all day!

I'm horny but I'm very old!

When my dick is hot, my feet get COLD!

(Well, someone else brought up Monty Python)

 

[ang]

old but still here:

There once was a man from Kentucket
Who had a cock so long he could suck it
He said with a grin as he wiped off his chin
If my ear was a xxxx I would fuck it

 

[spankingman]

old but still here:

There once was a man from Kentucket
Who had a cock so long he could suck it
He said with a grin as he wiped off his chin
If my ear was a xxxx I would fuck it

There once was a girl from Nantucket
Who's ass was as big as a bucket,
She said with a grin as she wiped off her chin
I don't like to fuck but I'll suck it

 

[Bear669]

Doggerel in a Wired World

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4pXfHLUlZf4

 

[Inferno]

With apologies to the Diceman:

Mary knew a little man
Whose dick was very thin;
And every time he'd fuck her
She'd ask him, "Is it in?"

 

[ang]

There once was a man from Mantoon
Who was born nine months to soon
He didn't have the luck to be born by a fuck
He was scraped off the sheets with a spoon

Can't beleive I remembered that one...LOL

 

[Bear669]

My earliest Dirty Doggerel memory

Circa 1954

Whistle while you work!

Hitler is a jerk!

Mussolini
bit his wienie..

Now it doesn't work!

 

[Danolo]

A short one

Little Jack Horner

Sat in the corner

Because he had a square ass.

 

[Bear669]

Bump-Musical Doggerel

I'm a standin' on a corner, in downtown Torawna..

Got 8 SPs on my miiii- iind!

4 wanna own me, 2 wanna stone me, 2 they are friends of mine!

Take it eeeeeeeeesy...

Take it eeeeeeeesy...

Dont let the twitch of your own dick..


Drive you CRAAAAAAAAAAZY!

 

[landscaper]

MAry had little lamb

A chicken and a duck
She put them on the window sill to se if they would f***

 

[landscaper]

MAry had a litlte lamb

Oh boy was the doctor surprised.

Little miss muffett sat on her tuffet(?)

eating her curds and whey

Along came a spider who sat down beside her

And asked WHATS HAPPENING BITCH

 

[landscaper]

The cabin Boy , the cabin boy,
The dirty little nipper
He lined his ass with fiberglass
And circumcised the skipper

 

[Bear669]

There is a great Princess, Simone,
Who knows how to give boys a bone!
With face of a Goddess,
And body- the hottest,
Guys just CANNOT leave her alone!

 

[moresex4me]

Here's an old one, I was in Grade 4. I had to sort of make up the ending because I couldn't remember the exact one.

Hello Mr. Murphy
God Bless Your Soul
Tried to fuck your daughter
Couldn't find her hole
When I found her hole
Furry as a mop
God-damn sonofabitch
I couldn't find my cock
When I found my cock
Tried to stick it in
God-damn sonofabitch
Couldn't get it in.
So Mr. Murphy
God Bless Your Soul
Tell your hairy daughter
To loosen up her hole!

 

[blackrock13]

Three irish men, three Irish men, sitting in a ditch,
One called another on a dirty son of a
Peter Piper had a dog, a dirty dog was he.
He gave it to lady to keep her company.
She fed it, she fed it, she fed the little runt.
One day it snuck up up and bit her her on the
Country boy, country boy sitting on a rock.
Along came a bumbly bee and stung him on the
Cocktails, Ginger Ales, five cents a glass.
If you don't like it, shove it up your
Ask me no questions and I'll tell you no lies.
If you get hit by a bucket of SHIT, be sure to close your eyes.

Thank you.

 

[Bear669]

Grade FOUR!

Here's an old one, I was in Grade 4. I had to sort of make up the ending because I couldn't remember the exact one.

Hello Mr. Murphy
God Bless Your Soul
Tried to fuck your daughter
Couldn't find her hole
When I found her hole
Furry as a mop
God-damn sonofabitch
I couldn't find my cock
When I found my cock
Tried to stick it in
God-damn sonofabitch
Couldn't get it in.
So Mr. Murphy
God Bless Your Soul
Tell your hairy daughter
To loosen up her hole!

You are obviously a bright guy, so I am sure you were not 18 years old in the Ozarks- but grade FOUR?!

 

[moresex4me]

You are obviously a bright guy, so I am sure you were not 18 years old in the Ozarks- but grade FOUR?!

Yup, 9 years old. And that was 31 years ago. We learned all kinds of crazy stuff... found a stash of porn mags some poor sap getting married had to throw out... debated the benefits of pussy versus tits, not really knowing what either were good for... lots of fun!